I forgot my gloves on the way to work this morning. Again. I’ve moved into a new home, new living arrangement, new neighborhood, and all my routines are up-ended, and the unpacking is not yet completed. I feel unsettled, rather a lot, and I forget things on my way to places. It’s a small thing and I know that over time my routine will be rebuilt and my obvious forgetfulness will be a little less obvious, and a little more well-managed. I get frustrated with what seems like a very slow process of adjusting to what is new.

I feel a little directionless today, like existence itself is just a little bit ‘off topic’ at the moment. I’m tired and although I am managing to sleep, I am not getting enough hours.  I am eagerly craving a breakthrough in thinking, or meaning beyond the ordinary, some great cosmic level of profundity – the ‘Aha!’ moment. I want an answer!

What I have to share with myself right now are a lot of questions. I have a large assortment – maybe you could use of few of these? I think I have extras…

  • Who am I? I mean, seriously, what defines ‘me’?
  • What do I actually want out of my life? What do I need to thrive? Where do these two things cause difficulties in achieving either?
  • Does new information change the meanings of past events? If it does, for whom does the meaning change?
  • How exactly does that ‘happiness’ thing actually work?
  • What is most important to me? Will it ‘make me happy’ if I have that, do that, or know that?
  • Is there a ‘nice way’ to be angry?
  • If all the words I’ve said and written over all the years I’ve been speaking aloud and writing haven’t said what I thought I needed to say,  measured entirely by whether I ‘feel heard’, does it mean that I simply lack the ability to feel that sensation? Or that I lack the ability to recognize that I am not being understood?
  • Is ‘anything’ actually ‘this complicated’ – or is that an illusion based on subjective lack of skill?
  • Aren’t I ‘a little old for this’?

If you find my answer to any of these, please send it on along, I could probably use the help. If you find your answer to any of these, I hope it has enormous value to you!

I did forget my gloves this morning, but I did not lose them, and it’s a good day.