Archives for posts with tag: be here now

I woke smiling when the alarm went off. I got up and was through most of morning routine before I realized I’d forgotten to put on my glasses. Most especially hilarious, because without them I really can’t see much at all. lol Nonetheless, I contentedly went through the motions, showering, choosing clothes, dressing, making coffee… then noticed, when I was watching the pour-over process, and the dense brown foam on top of the grounds seemed… sort of fuzzy. I thought then to ask myself that important “why?” question, and realized I just hadn’t done this one specific small task I generally do, immediately upon waking, every day, since…oh… like… “always” (since I was about 8? 9? My near-sightedness was identified fairly late).

…I’m still having an excellent morning. 🙂 Enough is, as the definition suggests, enough.

I sip my coffee. Check my email and unsubscribe from some things I no longer read, or care to have clogging up my inbox. Have a quick look at the news. Write… nothing of great consequence, or momentum, just a few words on a page.

What a lovely weekend it was. My smile deepens. I think about love. I think about home cooking. I think about contentment and joy. I think about movies, and sharing them with my Traveling Partner. I think about how it is definitely the sharing that matters most, it’s less about the movies. Another smile, another sip of coffee. Another Monday. 🙂

A handful of healthy practices may not save the world, however much they have transformed this individual human experience of life. I’m still fuzzy on the “save the world” plan details, anyway. I’m sometimes not at all sure we actually can… but… I’ll take contentment over misery, any Monday it’s offered to me. It’s enough. I’ll work on what’s in front of me that needs my attention, and then, when the time comes (and it always does), I’ll begin again. 🙂 So far that’s been working out nicely, in general. 😀

…I glance at the time, and finish my coffee.

The commute this morning will be new. I’m driving in, thinking I’ve found affordable parking near the office. Win! The transit commute has been pretty grotesque this week. Disordered people, unkempt and un-cared-for, mingling with surly commuters, and homeless people staying out of the rain… on the train… it’s a poor mix. The train I was on last night reeked of piss from end to end, and felt unsafe. The night before? Worse. I’d rather deal with rush hour traffic in the evening. So, tonight I will. I’ll see how it goes. 🙂

I’ve tackled the walking piece of my commute, jeans and hiking boots all week. Today, back to business clothes and dress shoes, and hoping the parking is close enough to the office that my feet won’t hurt. 🙂 I feel comfortable, so far, with my clothing and my choices. Feels good.

The work week draws to a close, and seems ready to do so on a pleasant note. I don’t know what the weekend will hold, but I’m ready for it. 🙂 I’ve been sleeping better, and don’t feel so exhausted. I’ve even got a trail in mind for my Saturday morning walk that I am eager to try. I’m starting today feeling pretty positive, and relaxed. It’s a nice starting point to begin again. 😀

This morning, I’m having tea. I could have had coffee; I didn’t really feel like listening to the grinder first thing in the morning, and lacked the foresight to grind my coffee before bed last night. 🙂 So. Tea this morning. This is not a hardship. This is a lovely, fragrant, carefully brewed cup of Earl Grey tea, and the scent of Bergamot mingles with the scent of my perfume. Very pleasant. No noise. 😀

Yesterday was the first work day in a new location (same job, same role, same company). The new building is filled with light (on one side, where I happen to sit), and is clean, and tidy, and lovely. It’s in a gentrifying neighborhood, filled with apartment buildings converted from warehouses, and office space that was once brewery space (or other industries). The buildings seem to crowd in next to one another, almost blotting out the view of the sky. From where I take my breaks, the world seems too purposeful to make room for beauty, and almost as a counter-argument to that experience, the neighborhood is dotted with small parks and green spaces tucked away in strange corners. It all seems very new to me, for now, and filled with adventure.

The walking I’ve added to my commute is pleasant, and not so far as to be uncomfortable, or particularly challenging. The train ride I’ve added (parking in the new location is fairly limited, and very expensive) is less pleasant, wholly tedious, and I already miss the drive (which reliably gave me about an hour of mostly quiet time to spend on my own thoughts). I definitely spend too much of my time hemmed in on all sides by more other people. LOL

Change is a thing. Now that it has happened, it’s time to sort out what works about it, what isn’t ideal, what can be changed, what requires a change in thinking, what can be embraced with joy, what can be “worked around”, and what the lessons are that new circumstances can teach me. 🙂 I start with a commitment to spending some of my train-riding time reading, and drop my kindle in my backpack, ready to start a new day.

My dreams last night were filled with thoughts about time, and timing…and here it is, already time to begin again. 🙂

The wheel of change turns without much help from me. Today is another “day of changes”. The weekend saw me out on the trail, walking, getting ready for more walking; a new commute begins today. I’ll be back to taking the train each morning, and I’m adding a bit of walking time to the commute…so, of course, this morning is rainy. lol My coat will keep me warm and dry. My backpack will handle that for my laptop, which comes home with me, often, on wintry evenings and weekends, just in case of snow or ice. “Back to the office” this week has some novelty to it. New commute. New office. 🙂

The weekend itself was a lovely one. There were occasional disharmonious moments, but barely a blip in my recollection of the time shared with my Traveling Partner. I enjoyed the weekend. I hope he did as well. I smile, thinking of the weekend, of my partner sleeping in the other room, of a life well-lived. It’s enough. 😀

I sip my tea (no kidding), this morning. It is satisfying, itself, and such a simple thing. Oh, it’s not a permanent switch up, I just felt like having tea this morning. lol It is a metaphor, perhaps, for embracing change.

Another metaphor for change. Where does this path lead?

I’m ready for change, and it’s a good thing, too, because it’s already time to begin again. 🙂

This morning I woke ahead of the alarm clock, feeling rested. I did some yoga. I showered. Made coffee. Dressed for work. I hadn’t yet checked the weather, but so far “snow-pocalypse” has been fairly disappointing, and I wasn’t worried about the weather, because I arrived home last night prepared to work from home this morning. Instead of fussing about the weather, I took time for meditation, no timer. It was a lovely start to the morning.

(I still don’t know what the weather may be like, and still haven’t checked.)

Now, I am sipping my coffee and considering things. Mostly things I am grateful for. It’s not exactly “prayer” – but it isn’t entirely unlike prayer, I suppose. I’m not conscientiously cataloging gratitude-worthy moments, or events, or people, either. More like I’m allowing my thoughts to go where they wish, and as they do, I’m making a point to definitely feel gratitude for things that I happen to be grateful for. It’s an exercise in appreciate, in awareness, and in observation, and I feel lifted up every day that I do this particular practice.

(There’s so much in life to be grateful for.)

My coffee is precisely as I like it. I sip it with contentment, and wonder briefly why no other coffee really tastes quite like this first carefully crafted pour-over in the morning? I let that thought go, and welcome the next. One by one, they turn up, and then depart. Moments considered. It’s been a good week so far, and even my pain has been generally fairly well-managed, which tends to result in being in a “better mood” just as generally. It’s nice. I think about valued co-workers and some exceptionally satisfying positive interactions in this young new year. Promising. I mull over the past year of living with my Traveling Partner, and smile; it’s been delightful to enjoy so much of his company. I appreciate his presence. I think about practical details that are worthy candidates for gratitude, right down to the small details like doors that lock, indoor plumbing, refrigeration, and electric lights; life would be different – very different – without those. I take a moment to appreciate connectivity, and then to appreciate the vast improvement in my day-to-day experience that resulted from giving up social media; those experiences exist side-by-side in a meaningful way, and there’s something to be learned from that, beyond this moment. I sit quietly, absorbed in my thoughts, suffused with a feeling of contentment.

(I allow myself to be distracted by the clock on my monitor for an instant.)

My seamless fabric of grateful musing begins to unravel with distractions. I haven’t put on earrings. My coffee is almost cold – and almost finished. Will I drive or take the train today? Will it actually snow? I wonder what we’ll have for dinner tonight? I wonder if there are “any cool shows on” tonight? I haven’t put on perfume. Did I actually brush my hair? Is my backpack ready for the day? I didn’t forget my laptop or hub, did I? Did I manage not to wake my partner while I dressed? I wonder if today will be sunny? How is my author friend doing? Or that one DJ friend of mine? Or the friend with a new baby? Should I get back in the habit of writing paper letters, and hand-drawing and water-coloring note cards? Oh, I already finished my coffee… I wonder who will be elected president this next time? Shit, the world’s going to hell so fast, it seems like. Where shall we go out for “date night” next time? Oh, hey, what time is it, now?

(I notice the endless possible distractions have lead me far from mindfulness and contentment. I take a deep breath, and another. I exhale. I relax. I bring myself back to now, and begin again.)

The heat comes on, reminding me of the cold morning temperatures beyond these windows and walls. I breathe deeply. I sit quietly. I’m not asking anything extraordinary of myself in this moment, just to be here, now, awake, aware, and listening, observing the world around me. I feel relaxed and contented. Calm. I experience this as a state of readiness, without agitation, or hyper-vigilance, simply present in this moment. I give myself over to a few minutes of simply being present and aware, without any agenda or concerns. It’s a good foundation for the busy work day ahead. I look at the clock. It’s definitely time to begin again. 🙂