Since last Thursday I’ve been living eyes-wide-open, head up, and observing the world, and making time to meditate when I can. Funny, it often seems that when I want to meditate more, the opportunities to do so are fewer. I’m not bitching, just expressing a subjective impression of my experience. My ‘cognitive space’ seems a bit limited lately. Or…maybe I have a lot to think about? 🙂
There could be a an inspiring caption here…
It is Thursday. Therapy. A day to focus on me, generally… it’s off to a strange start. I feel distracted and struggling to engage myself with my own needs and thoughts. Struggling to focus, struggling to be the important thing on my agenda… and slowly the stress and anxiety build. So, fewer words today, more meditation.
Somehow I failed on some little things of great importance this morning. Failed to connect. Failed at intimacy. Failed at love and Love. Failed at conversation. Failed what started as a lovely morning and turned into… loneliness. Still human. Capable of hurting. Likely to struggle. Prone to error. What do I need? What do I want? I guess it is progress that I can at least express my feelings; disappointed, sad, frustrated – emotional.
I am grateful that I can feel.
Today I hope to make wise choices, to speak with compassion, to listen with my whole attention and consideration about other experiences. Today I hope to challenge my assumptions, and treat myself with compassion, too. I hope to find my way out of the darkness and into the light.
Today I will change the world.
Evening Light 