Archives for posts with tag: gamification

Life can feel pretty chaotic, happenstance, random, coincidental or strange. I’ve got my free will, you’ve got yours, we’ve all got circumstances. Somewhere in the recesses of my fragmented memory I hear a memory of myself screaming at someone “This is not a fucking GAME!”

Isn’t it?

Is it?

What if it actually were, and we could know that going into it, and as with any game, even have the rules in front of us, and a moment to get set up? There are lots of sorts of games that life is rather like. Games make good metaphors of life for that reason, and many games creep into our language as figures of speech. (I’m looking at you, Baseball!)

If you had a stack of chips – call it your savings – and cash flow that replenished that supply – call it ‘a job’ – and some goals to reach with those resources, and some challenges and hurdles to overcome… that sounds a lot like life. The only thing missing is a system of winners and losers, and a way to keep score. And a timer. Games always end.

Here’s your first goal, first round of the game: acquire suitable housing. lol Yep. There are a lot of options. Do your chips cover what you want most? No? I guess rethinking that makes sense then… What can you afford? Meet the need as soon as possible, improve over time; it’s a common strategy. What if you are fortunate enough that you don’t want or require more than the basics? Your chips pile up! Is that important? No – they’re just chips. lol  A lot of people miss that detail.  We primates are a competitive bunch – what we grab up and keep close doesn’t have to have real value, it just has to be more of whatever it is than that monkey over there has. Hell, in some groups, even having more pain, more misery, amounts to riches.

Every choice we make matters. Every opportunity for a decision, or indecision, or action or inaction, takes our piece another step around the game board.  We progress toward our goals, or move away from them. Sometimes we stand still.

This morning, I’m playing The Game Of Life in my imagination. I’m starting with the chips I’ve got, the job I have, and mentally rebuilding my experience with those resources. Not personally my own? I’m not counting it.  What do I really need? What do I want? What contributes value to my experience? What do I keep, what I do I let go? What can I have? What is out of reach? What matters most?  At the conclusion of this morning’s game, I’m hoping for a clearer picture of the life I would like to be really living. A good map makes any destination easier to reach.

What will I choose to fill my life, my home, my experience?

What will I choose to fill my life, my home, my experience?

Few challenges are as challenging as they seem. Few hurdles stand as tall as we fear. Our choices matter – even our choice about what matters, and what the choices may be.  Today is a good day to make good choices.

Today is very chill and lovely so far. Calm. Quiet.

In fact, there’s a lot of that, lately, in my individual experience. It’s a nice change from a lifetime of internal turmoil. Much of it is the result of applying intellect and will to studies that actually have the potential to get that result in the first place;  turning my attention away from analysis and introspection, and turning it toward mindfulness, observation, and meditation.  A lot of it is the result of new skills, new understanding of self, of others, of key concepts – like ‘taking care of me’, consent, and compassion. Some of it is simply allowing wounds to heal at all, rather than continuously picking at the scars and constantly inflicting new trauma on myself by way of OPD (Other People’s Drama) and the media-focus on shock and alarm.

I am learning to set real boundaries that make sense for me, and to manage them and communicate them clearly.  I am learning which of my challenges are a byproduct of my brain injury, and which are a result of emotional trauma; child abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence have all had their moment, and it can be a lot to sort out.  I am learning skills and tools that address my emotional and physical needs, and encourage and support real long term healing.

That all sounds amazing – feels amazing, too, when I take a moment to feel the progress, value it, and appreciate it. Mindful gratitude, and self-compassion get major points on the scorecard when I look at how much has changed over the past few months. So… time to ‘level up’!

Sometimes a high score is about more than a number.

Sometimes a high score is about more than a number.

Gamification is no joke, and it has certainly played an important role for me by applying it to both rehabilitation (to whatever extent that can be accomplished on a TBI that is decades old), and to clearing some odd emotional hurdles resulting from ancient pain, personal demons, and poor programming.  Healing and growing and becoming… it is a puzzles with many pieces.

Here it is Friday. The household begins to wake. Soon the quiet will be replaced with love, and conversation, and the activities of the day.  Today, I will select my tools with care, and share my heart fearlessly with my loves.  Today I will change my world.