Weird morning, everything around me seems a bit laggy, or noisy, or somehow just a bit off. This morning’s coffee? Well, sure, that sets a different standard, and it is yummy and something I can rely on for a moment of pleasure and satisfaction. With other things feeling so ‘out of step’ this morning, I take a moment to savor my coffee; it’s the first coffee I’ve made for myself on the new machine. I made an Americano.
I haven’t really ‘given up’ dairy, but no one else in the house consumes it now, so there is rarely milk or cream on hand – and I don’t prefer the substitutes, generally. I’ve been drinking my espresso straight, my coffee black, and the occasional Americano for some time now. I didn’t want or need to reduce the amount of dairy I was consuming, but I was definitely turning away from the quantity of sugar that was making its way into my diet. I’ve admittedly made more progress on my weight and fitness goals since I have reduced the dairy and sugar in my diet. (I speculate that it is due to the reduction in the quantity of fat in my diet as a result, but I’m not a scientist, or a dietician, and I just don’t know. ) It feels good to make progress, and I’m pleased with the changes in my shape and my energy level and the improvements in my health over time.
I still have this headache that I woke with…but I nearly always do. The arthritis pain has me twisted and stiff this morning, also not a new thing and more to be endured with compassion than fought; there’s no real winning the fight, just a negotiated truce on warmer dryer days. I’m fortunate to feel awake, alert, and calm, without the lingering volatility that nightmares sometimes bring. I slept deeply and well, aside from the dreams. The dreams last night were troubling. No, I’m not going to share them. Yes, that bad.
It is a decent morning, really, and I am content to accept that the ‘weirdness’ that seems to be, likely isn’t anything external to me at all, and since it isn’t ‘real’ in that sort of sense I am inclined to simply smile, dismiss it, and sip my coffee. I’d like something different out of the morning, but I’m not sure what. Sleeping in? Lovemaking? Feet up and sketchbook in my lap? Fimo figures forming between my fingers while I watch South Park on shuffle? A long walk as the sun rises? (It’s no coincidence that work doesn’t appear in this list.) An afternoon of aquatic gardening? A day spent tidying my personal space and finding joy in tasks that organize things?
I am here now. This is the day it is. Enjoying it is definitely among the options available; I think I’ll do that. 🙂
A picture from a rainy summer day; where will today take me?
Evening Light 