Archives for the month of: May, 2014

I enjoyed a lovely long weekend celebrating an anniversary. The time spent was intimate, connected, gentle, practical, thought-provoking, and delightfully chill.

In the grander scheme of things there are important questions to be answered. I’m generally not about answers as much as questions, and I suspect getting the questions ‘right’ – meaning that they are appropriately meaningful, and relevant, producing the potential for answers that hold… well… answers – is more important than the answers themselves may be, much of the time.

Importance isn't about size, grandeur, or what matters to someone else.

Importance isn’t about size, grandeur, or what matters to someone else.

In recent weeks I have asked myself some very insightful questions. I have asked others some questions that I expect have answers that hold within them the timeless moment of a decision-making nexus. Certainly, my own answers to some relevant questions have produced a better understanding of my experience and my relationships. I’ve had several moments recently that felt like Life scoring an important pop quiz; I generally feel like I’m at least getting a passing grade, much of the time.

Here it is the start of a new work week, filled with promise, the future on the horizon, and more minutes of potential future queued up to play out in life; converting experience to memories by way of now. There are verbs to apply to circumstances, and wishes to fulfill as plans to be carried out, and there is a better life to build. Choice is spectacular and I am feeling very hopeful; less about what is than what is open to possibility.

Finding balance is as much about choices and verbs as everything else.

Finding balance is as much about choices and verbs as everything else.

I read about the world’s oldest living man. The title-holder of record changes pretty regularly; it’s a position with a lot of turnover. I got to thinking about mortality and humanity, and how long it has taken me to get this close to being the person I want most to be… I rather like the idea that so many more potential years are available. I’m 51 this year; barely starting the ‘second half’. I’d love to be around for a third half… lol.

Time for some deep calming breaths, some meditation, and some verbs. Today is a good day for contentment and satisfaction. Today is a good day for joy. Today is a good day to smile and share a moment of life with others living it. Today is a good day to acknowledge what matters to me, and to be compassionate with others. Today is a good day to rethink old assumptions. Today is a good day to change the world.

Patterns occur pretty naturally, it’s the way repeatable, reproducible things work, perhaps.

The pattern of ripples in water.

The pattern of ripples in water.

I don’t know the math and science of patterns with the sort of detail that would be appropriate for a mathematician or scientist. I see patterns.

Patterns on a sandy beach.

Patterns on a sandy beach.

I see where patterns are broken.

Sometimes it's obvious.

Sometimes it’s obvious.

I’m a pattern analyst by trade, if I narrow down ‘data analysis’ to something more specific, although the sort of thing that I did in the 1980s manually with my brain and eyes is generally done by machines and programming today.

Patterns, and our innate human relationship with patterns and pattern recognition sometimes goes awry; we see patterns that aren’t actually patterns, by connecting unrelated events or experiences. Apophenia is a fancy word for seeing patterns in unrelated things. It’s a very human tendency.

Just in case you're sure you only see patterns that are 'real'... Are you seeing a face in this arrangement of circles and lines? Cuz... this image is not a face, just some circles and lines. :-)

Just in case you’re sure you only see patterns that are ‘real’… Are you seeing a face in this arrangement of circles and lines? Cuz… this image is not a face, just some circles and lines. 🙂

Sometimes patterns are obvious, with obvious causes. Sometimes patterns are quite subtle.  Created patterns and naturally occurring patterns both fascinate me.

Sunlight through blinds - natural? Created?

Sunlight through blinds – natural? Created?

It isn’t always easy to be utterly certain that a pattern is a pattern with patterns that are not visual, auditory, tactile, tabular, charted, or graphed – at least for me.  Emotional and behavioral patterns are much more difficult to be certain of, because the involvement of the observer in the observation is likely to be much higher, and the quality of the data, itself, much poorer.  The time I have spent studying patterns in my own emotional life (for example relative to the ebb and flow of hormones) has been worthwhile for my growth as a human being, but it is a slow process of observation, and error correction. Each observation checked and checked again for verifiable accuracy, examined from multiple alternate perspectives, or against other theories, and any easy or obvious seeming answer questioned to limit and hopefully avoid both bias and losing perspective or compassion for myself. It’s a complicated endeavor.  Before I began practicing mindfulness, it was a hopelessly fast route to frustrated rumination that really didn’t go anywhere.  Now, I’m rather pleased that it seems to fast-track improved long-term emotionally relevant decision-making about my life and behavior that has improved my everyday experience a lot.

There’s that ‘decision-making’ piece, though… Choice is a big part of living well. A lot of people actually choose to live less well than they could; choosing frustration over contentment, choosing wanting over enjoying, choosing righteous indignation over understanding, choosing to be stalled in their life and experience over choosing change. It’s very hard to watch.

Today is a good day to choose well. Today is a good day to be the change I wish to see in my world, and in my life. Today is a good day to choose love, and to choose pleasure. Today is a good day to invest enthusiastically in having a good experience. Today is a good day to change the world.

I celebrated an anniversary with a partner yesterday; 3 years, married. Nice. It felt good: warm, affectionate, passionate, romantic, connected, present, joyful, delightful, simple, and wonderful. Just that, nothing more. lol

Simple, local, sustainable...

Simple, local, sustainable…

Love, and loving, are possibly life’s most incredibly wonderful wonders… and so available when we’re open to the possibilities.  Like the simplest of delicate garden flowers, sometimes the best moments are hidden in the weeds, but loving care, and awareness, reveal so much! Applying mindfulness practices to love is not the easiest or most intuitive thing for me. I do find that applying mindfulness to love and loving is rewarding beyond predictable value. Worth the effort, for sure.

It wasn’t a fancy occasion; we kept things simple and I am content and satisfied. I feel loved. Dinner out on a lovely spring evening, an exchange of gifts, romance, conversation… lovely.  It was enough to be connected, and present with each other, and talking about life and love and the ‘us’ that is us, and what that means now. It was quite simply a lovely evening.

More isn't necessary.

More isn’t necessary.