So many beginnings have followed my April decision to leave the workforce for a while. Today, another; I return to the workforce.

I slept badly. I’m not surprised by it, and I am gentle with myself about this long-term “feature” of my experience. I did manage about 7 hours, split by a brief period of wakefulness after my fitness tracker buzzed my wrist during the night, when my traveling partner alerted me of a change of plans that might see him returning today. That’s pretty exciting, and the news of it kept me wakeful for almost an hour.

I woke pleased to be this person who chooses work clothes ahead of time, and prepares in advance for early morning activities; there is less likelihood I’ll forget something on the way out the door, or feel rushed getting to that point. I dislike feeling rushed, and being rushed by circumstances or people definitely results in forgetting more stuff. I’ll take my time today. I prepared so that I easily could.

I note the time, and realize my mornings are once again compressed between that waking moment, and 7 am; my departure time. Efficiency in these morning moments is once again something that has value. I smile. I’m ready for that, I think, and remind myself to turn on the dishwasher when I leave for the day. I sketched out my new workday routine last night, identifying those household tasks that are the better fit for early morning (quiet, biggest bang for my buck, things I don’t want to come home to…), and those ideal for after work (noisy, quickly handled, most appropriate at the end of the day, things I don’t want to wake up to…). Deep cleaning, big chores, and real manual labor sorts of things shift back to the weekends, when I have the time to take time with them, and also treat myself with care. I guess I’m ready.

First days are generally about beginnings in a lot of little ways. I expect the day to be pretty exciting, generally, with a lot to see, a lot to hear, and a lot to learn. One major new beginning, professionally, is the change from a Microsoft environment to an Apple environment. That’ll be exciting and fun; I remind myself to avoid emotionally investing in outcomes and expectations, and to test assumptions, listen deeply, ask clarifying questions. I remind myself this is not a test, and commit to experiencing the experience, and to be open to new information. The views from my new office are quite amazing, and one question I am eager to ask is whether I can shoot pictures from those windows. 😀

My attention is focused on first day thoughts. My emotions are filled with first day jitters. All that is okay; it’s very human. I breathe. Relax. Check the time, which is most amusing because I’ve got an alarm set at intervals to remind me to move from one thing to the next, I sometimes need that; there’s no need to check the clock. Still… it’s time for breakfast, and next things… and beginning again. Again. 🙂

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