I forgot to set my alarm last night. Another firm habit breaks unexpectedly, in this case, at least so far, mostly without consequence. I crashed hard last night, pretty early, and fell asleep without reading (and forgot to meditate). I woke thinking I would be able to go back to sleep. I’m glad I checked the time. The morning has that clumsy surreal feel of a day started slightly at an odd angle to the usual sort of morning. I feel groggy, awkward, and lacking coordination and sense of placement in physical space. I’m already on my second coffee, having done nothing much with the morning so far beside shower and dress… well… mostly dress. I remind myself to finish dressing – preferably before I try to leave for the office.

I run my fingers through tangled hair. I sip my coffee. I listen to the low moan of the early commuter train approaching the platform on the other side of the park. I sigh quietly in the stillness, and in the moment that I recognize how loud that sounds, I also hear the rain tapping the window of my studio, and the chime clanging away in the morning breeze. I take a moment to pause and simply be. I take a moment to let myself begin to really wake up. I poke around in my foggy consciousness, checking off a mental list of the morning “getting ready for work” tasks with care. I pull myself upright in my desk chair, committing to caring for my posture with more attention.

An unexpected yawn splits my face wide open, and just as I am about to laugh imagining that, pain stretches from just above and behind my ear, through the base of my skull and to my neck. Ouch. I gotta get back to the doctor on that one; it continues to worsen, and I am experienced at accommodating pain, and too inclined to overlook it.  I remind myself that my life – and my quality of life – matters.

This is a very human sort of morning. A good one for taking care of the woman in the mirror. A good one for taking time to appreciate how very human we each (all) are. My consciousness is still too tender to deal with the news, or the world, and I avert my eyes from social media; it is enough, for now, to deal with this moment right here. Perhaps later today I’ll get back to work on changing the world? 😉