I woke this morning feeling rested, and generally pretty merry. I wasn’t even annoyed with myself for “not getting shit done yesterday, at all”. I sat here a few minutes, reading some news, sipping some coffee, feeling fairly encouraged and encouraging about the day ahead, and still willing to cut myself some slack for “just not doing a damned thing” yesterday, after work.

Spoiler alert: it’s bullshit internal narrative. No kidding. Not the positivity part – the part about not getting shit done. See, there’s plenty to do. It’s a long list. Frankly, life is a long list of stuff to get done, things to learn, places to go, errands, tasks, and moments… and last night, I actually did do some stuff, and even checked a couple things off my list that had been really nagging at me. Is there more to do? For sure. Always is. Did I also take time to relax? Yes! It’s a big part of my self-care to actually care for my self.  I woke this morning seeing the self-care as somehow undermining what I also got done, and this is something to be aware of; how easily I fall back on nagging myself, talking down on myself, negging myself, pushing myself beyond my limits in an unhealthy way, and just generally diminishing my general goodness based on some standard set elsewhere, by someone else, for some purpose not clear to be in my own thinking! I laugh it off, and put it aside willfully as “bullshit” – because it is.

I got enough done last night to make progress on things I wanted to do. That’s entirely adequate. 🙂

Two more work shifts and then a weekend. Fuck yes. lol It’s time to begin again. 😀