Well, ok – at least one day over 50.
I enjoyed my birthday tremendously, and shared it with people I love. My partners, a couple of my oldest friends, a couple of my newest friends, people who are very dear to me, someone I just met for the first time, all joined me for pizza, some great music, and a bite of cake – the cake wasn’t very good, and I don’t think that mattered at all. lol. The conversation was lively, and it was great to spend this important [to me] day feeling so connected. A far away friend, whose writing I greatly enjoy, wrote to me of the day we met. Seeing a younger self through his eyes was a remarkable 50th birthday present.
This birthday has been about something very different from material goods. Even my aquarium. My partners would have happily set it all up for me and ‘given me an aquarium’ for my birthday. Understanding that I wanted the experience as much as the thing itself, they coached me through all of it, instead. I have relished the reading and learning, and decision-making and shopping as this tiny universe takes shape. I’ve learned some things that proved to be great life lessons and handy metaphors. I am captivated by my aquarium, and when I sit and gaze into it, watching the fish live their lives, and the plants swaying gently in currents invisible to me, I think of the love and affection of these amazing beings in my life. It’s quite wonderful and rather sentimental. 😀 Exceptional birthday. 50…worth celebrating.
My newest garden…
Real life is still real life. I still deal with my share of challenges and frustrations. I still have a brain injury and the resulting weirdness – but lately that has been more ‘quirky’ and occasionally comedic for me, far more often than it has been stressful or aggravating. How is it that things are this much better? I’m almost afraid to look at it too closely. Better is good.
Funny thing – I’ve been in pain, probably about a 7 out of 10, for a couple of days now. I’m not bitching. No, seriously, that’s what I’m saying – I’m not bitching. lol. I hurt, I do. That’s pretty unpleasant. I’m managing to treat people well, and have a good experience, in spite of it. It’s nice. The only down side is that I seriously doubt that my discomfort is at all evident right now. lol. That’s ok – it gives me lots of practice at gentle explicit communication, and willfully treating people well when I am in pain. Those are good skills to hone.
I think I am finally finding balance in a way that works for me…pain, for the moment, is irrelevant. The evening falls softly, and my laptop battery reminds me that life is best lived…time for some ‘now’.
Evening Light 