I have a friend* who evaluates experiences with great care, assigning them a number value, and comparing them based on a ‘score’ one to another for relative value. She likes data. I like data, too, so we have some common ground there. I’ve noticed more than once, though, that she quickly goes from being quite delighted with an event or experience to being incredibly discontent solely on the basis of her scoring system; events that score poorly lose value, and her emotional recollection of events changes to support the score she has assigned to them. I haven’t known her to assign a perfect score to any event she’s discussed with me. (If I understand her system, everything starts out as a ‘perfect 10’ and received deductions based on… flaws.)
I mention it, because of all the birthday well-wishes, hers was the only one that requested I evaluate my birthday experience and give it a number. lol
I spend a lot of time with numbers. I enjoy data. (Seriously, that’s a thing!) I even enjoy analyzing data, evaluating trends, making observations about what data may indicate. Experience teaches me that actually scoring experiences, assigning them some sort of merit or value-based grade upon which to evaluate them, is a fast track to discontent. Score-keeping sets me up for perceiving issues of ‘fairness’ where ‘fair’ isn’t a characteristic to be expected in the first place, and creates a sense of competition that probably delights retailers, but doesn’t build a feeling of well-being, or foster good self-care – or good self-talk. I figured this one out when I was quite young, and learning to quantify the value, meaning, and intensity of early sexual experiences. It quickly became apparent that it was difficult to overcome one very relevant puzzle… I could not establish measurements and criteria that reliably resulted in ‘apples to apples’ comparisons. Well… understandably so; people are not apples, and life experiences can not be exchanged for cash. lol
I replied to my friends email with a ‘lol’ and ‘a perfect 10!’.
I am learning to live life in the moment, awake, aware, and alive; isn’t every moment already perfectly whatever it is, given a chance? Isn’t an intimate quiet birthday spent with loved ones, a nice dinner out, and a caring gift as perfectly wonderful as a wild night immersed in deep bass, vibrant house music, dancing, partying to the wee hours with a crowd of friends? They’re very different sorts of birthdays (one was mine, the other belonging to a friend* of mine, on the same date), for different sorts of people at different points along life’s journey.
It is a lovely morning, over a quiet coffee, and another birthday is behind me. Life is not ‘a perfect 10’ – it is a journey, incomplete, in progress, and ongoing indefinitely. Amusingly, when I don’t look too closely at the numbers, ‘it all adds up’.
All the promise and potential of a new day.
Today is a good day for calm awareness. Today is a good day to smile and recognize our shared humanity. Today is a good day to take another step forward. Today is a good day to change the world.
*No friendships were harmed in the making of this blog post. 🙂
Evening Light 