Yesterday was a busy work day and I ended the day cognitively fatigued and in a great deal of pain. I don’t know that those are connected by any causal relationship, but the correlation found me arriving home drained and lacking motivation to take on the tasks I’d eagerly set for myself from the energetic vantage point of morning. I made choices, committed to necessary tasks, re-planned the things I just wasn’t up to, and let go of the disappointment – because truly, I’d be the only person being disappointed by the changes I was making, and making them to support me, myself, through my own decision-making, isn’t actually disappointing.

So much of my experience is a reflection of my physical state of being, health, and wellness; how I treat myself matters.

As tired as I was, I still arrived home after grocery shopping with some remnant of eagerness; my traveling partner had stopped by with a sweet gift during the day and I was excited about it. Excited…and fatigued….and in pain; this is not a good combination for approaching a new practice, new toy, new technology – or really, anything new and exciting that could be quite fun under other circumstances. My thinking wasn’t clear, and I was quickly frustrated nearly to tears. It tends to take some of the fun out of something new to be frustrated by it, at least for me. I managed to pull myself back from the brink of some nasty pointless tantrum (practices do have results), and phoned my traveling partner calmly. The difficulty was quickly sorted out. All this practicing of good self-care practices pays off again; resolving the small challenge also entirely resolved the emotional challenge. No lingering frustration waiting to blow me off course. 🙂

What I choose to observe, and how I understand it changes my experience.

The day ended well and quietly. I finished the evening taking care of me; clearly I was fatigued and in need of some consideration. I went through my self-care basics one after another: a simple healthy meal, some yoga, a hot shower, meditation, and a little light reading and an early night. Small details, good self-care choices, and putting me on my own agenda make a big difference. I woke this morning with some effort, from a sound sleep, to the beeping of the alarm – groggy but feeling rested (heavier use of medication definitely affects how easily I am able to wake up). Pain relieved. Mood managed. Fatigue put to rest. I found myself lingering in the shower this morning, smiling and content, enjoying the sensuous pleasure of warm water on skin. My coffee is good. Yoga felt relaxed and natural. In all, a very nice morning – and if I didn’t have a lifetime of experience reminding me that difficult days lead to rough nights leading to crappy mornings, I probably wouldn’t notice one gentle relaxed morning, content over my coffee. I know how much practice I have put into the quality of the life I live. I savor these mornings, these moments; they are not guaranteed to me, even now. Incremental change over time is a thing. I find it much easier to enjoy progress when I take time to reflect on it, and enjoy the outcome without reservations. Refusing to celebrate or acknowledge the power my own intentions, will, and actions have had to improve my experience is just one more form of self-neglect and self-punishment waiting to be selected. I think I will choose differently, and show myself some appreciation and respect this morning; I’ve worked hard to get here. (That there is further to go is not relevant to the success of this moment right now.)  🙂

Trusting the process, and relying on incremental change over time requires some vulnerability.

There’s no smugness here. No ‘winner’; it’s not a competition. There is no vanquished Bad Guy – I am my own Bad Guy as often as I am my own Hero. I am so very human, practicing practices, learning from mistakes, and celebrating small successes – this morning, I am grateful to be celebrating a small success over my morning coffee. It’s not fancy as moments go, it is, however, enough.

Not fancy, still beautiful.

Today is a very good day for emotional self-sufficiency. Today is a very good day to appreciate my efforts, and enjoy a moment of success. Today is a good day to look ahead with a smile; the journey is the destination. Today is a good day to practice The Art of Being, and use the Big 5* generously out in the world.

Taking the time to invest in me, to put down roots within my own heart, nurtures future strength and resilience.

*If you’re just joining the fun, my “Big 5 relationship values” are Respect, Consideration, Compassion, Reciprocity, and Openness.