This morning started well, although I’m having serious challenges with my arthritis this fall. The work day was productive, harmonious, and we ‘performed well to goal’, which probably matters to someone. I enjoyed the work, and that matters to me. There were emotional challenges on the periphery that threatened to blow my smooth day, and somehow new tools were at the ready, and it was rather like reaching for a hammer to hang a painting, and finding it precisely where I expect it to be, and in good working order. The right tools for the job proved to be effective, and today taking a few minutes for me, a couple deep breaths, a moment or two mindfully in the courtyard, actually felt quite natural. For me, a good day.
When conditions are right – growth.
It would be lovely, wouldn’t it, if every human being would pause, and just enjoy their ‘right now’ experience? Seriously pause for serenity, for wholeness, for harmony – for what matters; to allow calm and wise to take the lead over righteous fervor and entitlement. I’m actually not trying to be fanciful – I felt almost able to envision that state of things, in a moment of real chill, and it actually startled me out of meditation because for an instant it was a very visceral thing. I make no effort to interpret the experience, justify it, or explain. It was a lovely, if startling, moment.
Raindrops – sometimes beauty is a matter of taking a look from another perspective.
Today I undertook a handful of tasks that needed to be done. Simple enough. That is the thing though – it was enough to do them, to appreciate the need, to experience and value the effort, and the skill, and the result. No scorecard, no validation – this is new for me. I like recognition. I like hearing that I did something well. Today, it just wasn’t about that, and I had no need for any further satisfaction than in completing my task well.
I’m tired now. It is evening. I’d like to say something profound, but many of life’s details at the moment are uncertainties and sorrows. Funny… I realize, as I write those words, I am aware that some of the challenges I’ll be facing in the near future hold the potential for a lot of heart ache, and I’m not freaking out, I’m not tragically blue, I’m not devastated… This is my life. There have been, and there are going to be, some rough moments. Resenting life, taking struggle personally, or lashing out at existence don’t enhance the experience or improve it. (Holy crap – am I ‘growing up’? lol. )
I’m okay. I’m tired. I hurt… it’s the end of one day. Tomorrow is another and with the sunrise I begin a whole new experience. So do you. I hope our tomorrow, and every tomorrow that follows, is a worthy experience. I hope each of our sorrows is followed by joy, tenfold. I hope we choose our actions wisely, and treat each other well, and with kindness and compassion. I hope our dreams are fanciful, and that we don’t lose our sense of humor in the struggle to find balance.
Evening Light 