…It astonishes me how quickly such a lovely morning can descend into complete discontent. It’s all so mundane, too, there’s really no point in providing details.  I walked into work thinking about remote cabins, and wondering how much of what I’ve got I actually need. I composed a very different blog post in my head, too, humorous and highly sarcastic, to the point of being vitriolic and potentially emotional weaponry. That’s not really ok with me, and it’s not the level of genuineness and honesty I aspire to. I decided to keep it simpler, cleaner, shorter.

I feel unappreciated, and under-valued. I feel annoyed.  My needs aren’t met. Yesterday sucked (although it actually did finish quite well as the day wore on); I was so delighted that this morning got off to such a good start.  Cynically, I now find myself wondering why I thought it would last even long enough to get to work, and I feel sad and disappointed that I don’t have what it takes to be worth simply enjoying the morning with me… or something.

The Big 5 are in my thoughts like cognitive tinnitus. The after-taste of my morning latte is now bitter in my mouth.  Oh well. Monday.  It isn’t worth saying more about it. Words will not improve my mood.  I will endeavor to satisfy myself with good work – at least I am certain of my worth 40 hours a week.

I don’t want to leave the impression that life itself sucks – I don’t feel that way, and that isn’t my perspective. I’m dissatisfied with my morning. I feel discontent and cross because I know better is possible. It isn’t a bad life and I am not the easiest person to make a life with. So…here’s something nice from this morning:

Cucumbers already flowering in the greenhouse.

Cucumbers already flowering in the greenhouse.