I didn’t sleep well. I’m struggling to write; my typing is a travesty of spelling errors, and incorrect suffixes. My thinking feels fractured and chaotic, disorganized. My grammar probably isn’t. I regret the challenges it may cause you, reading this.

The wind last night knocked power out all over the place, and even the light rail was affected. I took a taxi home and enjoyed the longer than desirable ride with a relaxed, funny driver named Ben. All the signal lights were out for a large area of town, and the traffic was surreal; for some reason, the lack of signal lights was causing people to ignore the lines on the road, and the lanes as we neared each intersection multiplied well beyond whatever city plan existed unseen in the darkness. I was glad to get home after spending only 2 hours making the journey that typically takes just one. I take a moment to really appreciate the good decision-making that stopped me lingering for an hour or more at the train station, just waiting.

I also take a moment to contemplate what feels like a major dick move yesterday, and I’m not sure how I feel about the choice I made. When I went to get into the taxi, I recognized a friend from work, standing back where he could smoke a cigarette, also waiting for a train. He seemed eager and relieved to see me, and did his very best to inquire gently and with great civility if I would share my cab – and let me know where he was going, also heading west, sort of toward my home. I stalled and my words were not fluid, and I think I ended up sounding like a jerk saying no, instead of finding a kind way to indicate I wasn’t planning to take a route through that area of town – because the signal lights were out, traffic was going to be ugly, and the freeway would get me home much sooner. Maybe that’s still a dick move? At the time, I wanted to say “Hop in!”, and find a way to make it a good fit…if I had, it would have been a boon to my friend, and my journey home, myself would have been much much longer…and in good company… This is one I’ll be thinking over for a long time to come.

Hot flashes, night sweats, poor quality sleep…Hormone Hell, menopause or not. This too shall pass.

One more work day to get through. I’m not really thinking about the weekend. I am thinking about sleep. LOL

My holiday wish list includes good sleep this year...

My holiday wish list includes good sleep this year…

Today is a good day to be content that when I am doing my best, it is the best I can do. Today is a good day to choose to nurture the best in myself, and in others. Today is a good day to honor good decision-making. Today is a good day to change the world.