I’m sipping my coffee feeling the hint of autumn that seems already evident, a certain chill I notice, and the slow turning of leaves to colors other than green; the feel of it is “autumn approaching”. The equinox is tomorrow. Fitting. I sip my coffee thinking about change.
This a good cup of coffee, this morning, and I’m feeling pretty well-rested from a better than average night of sleep. I ache – arthritis cranks things up on the pain scale along with the increased chill in the air, that bit of extra moisture, too… not helping. I shrug it off; pain is likely a notable portion of the remainder of my life – and, let’s be real here, it could be so much worse. (A VA doctor, a resident, recently asked me “Have you tried Tylenol?”, my astonishment prevented my reply, which, ideally, would have been “Have you tried getting your fucking foot out of your mouth??” I mean, seriously? If Tylenol were going to be adequate, what do I need her for?? And who hasn’t already tried OTC remedies by the time they want to take time off work and spend the money to talk to a doctor?)
This morning, though, isn’t about that. It’s not about pain, or pain management, it’s not even about this excellent cup of coffee, or a good night’s sleep. It’s a few words on a page that anchor me in this moment, in this experience, and really… that’s all. I’m here. This is now. Life is, actually, pretty good. Good enough to have comfortable easy conversations about where our money goes – and where it could be better spent. Good enough to sustain romance, and day-to-day comfortable, affectionate intimacy. Good enough to feel generally safe, and generally well. I take time to notice, because savoring the good times, however small the detail, fills me up for those times of sorrow that we each will definitely experience; challenges and heartache are also part of the human experience.
I reflect for some moments on my mother’s relatively recent death… June already seems so long ago. Summer is behind me now. Seasons do indeed change.
I sip my coffee, take a breath, and begin again.
Evening Light 
OH-MY-GOD. SERIOUSLY????? TYLENOL???????? Fucking Imbecile . It woulda been SO great if you’d said something like: “Tylenol? What is this thing that you speak of? I’ve never, EVER, heard of this before!!!!! DO go on…!!!!!” Easy for me to say sitting here. I know. I have also been shocked into STUNNED SILENCE more than a few times by “doctors” stupidity that is so sickening it makes me fearful for patients that aren’t as willing to, or able to stick up for themselves as you and I are. Fucking morons. George Carlin has an amazingly funny bit about …..”somewhere in the world today, there’s a dr , this Dr finished LAST in his class and is seeing patients today……”
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