This morning I had what I thought was an excellent starting point for the morning, and had the intention of writing. I never got to it. I enjoyed coffee with my Traveling Partner, had a pleasant walk before work, and enjoyed a productive day of work. My partner has a project going that keeps him quite busy. I love seeing him deeply engaged, learning new things, and occupied in a way that puts his mind to use on something worthy of his talent; it’s profoundly inspiring.
I’ve been painting. That’s part of what kicked my intention of writing off to the side, actually. I sat down in my studio, with my coffee, but facing “the art side” of the room, instead of the “office side”, and found myself whiling away some minutes before work gazing at new canvases – time I’d intended for writing, consumed on nothing more (or less) than inspired daydreaming. I’m even okay with that, I just wish I’d taken notes – even just a word or two – about what I was thinking before my head was filled with colors and thoughts of paintings yet to be painted. I’m pleased to be doing creative work again. I’m not sure what pushed me into the creative zone again… I don’t think it’ll be helpful to overthink it, so I am just enjoying it.
Funny… I’m finding myself wondering if the updated lighting in the house has any part to play in my re-emerging creative energy? I know I’m sleeping better, and when I wake the very gentle middle-of-the-night lighting doesn’t prevent me going back to sleep at all. I’m waking more gently too, and feeling rested and less cross. I’ve known for a long time that I loathed the infernal beeping of my alarm clock for a long long time – any alarm clock, really, and it doesn’t have to beep, and for basically all of my existence that I’m aware of. Bells. Chimes. Ringers. Clangers. Clappers. Buzzers. Doesn’t matter. I have no liking for them. Now, waking to a soft fade-in of light (and not any shining directly into my eyes), and having done so enough to be quite confident I won’t “miss my wake-up” or oversleep, I sleep so… comfortably. I even slept in yesterday. 🙂 Nice. Is that what’s stoking my creativity? Is it the acoustic treatments all around the house that removed the annoying echo and softened the sounds, generally? Such a quiet house, now. I feel more relaxed even thinking about it.
…And also, thinking about the love that has gone into it. Time, sure. Money, too. Considerable effort by my Traveling Partner, too (I’ve been getting to mostly just enjoy the ride on this one)… More than any of that, though, has been the obvious real love and care my partner has put into these projects, each detail another conversation about what matters most, what I may need, how this or that technology can ease some challenge, or enrich our experience of each other, or our life together. It’s pretty mind-blowing to be so well-loved, and it’s a bit to live up to, too. The pandemic has been hard on each of us differently… I wouldn’t want to have had to do it with someone else, though, I’ll say that. I’m glad he’s here. I’m glad he’s been here. I’m fortunate to be so well-loved (and he’s said similar things to me). This evening, that love we share finds me in my studio, on the other side of the work day, writing in the evening – and smiling to think how well that worked out… he needed some time to work on some complicated details of the smart home stuff. I’m happy to write for a few minutes and give him that time – I know that supporting each other pays off in some pretty amazing ways. 🙂
I hear him in the other room, letting me know he’s done for the day. I breathe, relax, and smile. It’s time to begin again.