Archives for category: Anxiety

I’m sitting here with a nasty headache (not unusual) and a feeling of anxiety that just isn’t entirely going away, but also isn’t attached to anything specific in my right-now experience.  I pause now and again, practice mindfulness, meditate for a few minutes, do some yoga. I ‘feel okay’ in the sense that life isn’t bad, even my mood is mostly quite nice, but I have a clear sense that there is commitment to practice and effort involved.  I’m not troubled by that, today, it seems rather obvious that a desired change would take actual effort; a verb.

Here are two photos taken within a few seconds of each other. Take a moment to consider this:

What we see often depends a great deal on...

What we see often depends a great deal on…

...what we are looking at and what we want to see.

…what we are looking at (and what we want to see).

So, there’s that.  So much is really a matter of (wait for it…) perspective. (Why does that delight me so? Why does it seem to offer so much hope?)  Yeah, I’m still meditating on perspective. It remains a worthy concept for contemplation, always fresh, always adding some twist on something, and not once have I had an experience where having more perspective was a disadvantage. Not even once.

Somehow, my musings on perspective brought me around to considering that archetypal question of childhood – “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  (How many times is any one of us asked that question? Who ever has an answer at that age? Hell, I’m still fucking working on that one!)  I found myself imagining that I had taken on first one career/calling, then another… and when I got to ‘lion tamer’ my creative thinking brain threw ‘tension tamer’ into the conversation! Suddenly, I was imagining making taming my stress some kind of vocation, a calling, a role – dressed for the circus big top, with a whip or a riding crop, making my anxiety do my bidding.  LOL! I delight myself with the image and imagine further a whole circus or carnival cast – with my anxiety somehow ‘The Main Attraction”.  Metaphors dancing with allegories in my busy imagination playground.  My in-the-moment stress and anxiety faded away, for the moment.  (Nice one, Brain, that was fun.) 😀

(I wonder if I can call upon my Tension Tamer any time I want to? Is this a new tool, or was it an experience?)

Mindfulness is making so much difference for me. Being a student of life and love is providing me with an education of such immense value that it could never be measured in grades, or student loan debt.  More questions than answers seems to be a way of approaching my experience that pays off in a lot more good days than bad, fewer sleepless nights, and less bitter rumination and emotional pain.  Finding security and contentment in ambiguity and uncertainty is an unexpected outcome, but here I am. More content. Healing. Finding more peace in my heart and more comfort with my experience. This is a good place to be, and in spite of the headache, and the arthritis pain, this is a good day [for me].

There’s this one thing that bums me out though… I can only share words about this experience.  I don’t know how to convey how utterly necessary it seems now, how helpful, how lovely.  Well, at least I do have words, and I can share those.  (I’ll count on you to read them, and take from them what is meaningful for you.)   🙂

Mindfulness sees the unexpected heron in a field along a busy road.

Mindfulness sees the unexpected heron in a field along a busy road.

There is still so much to learn.

It’s a nice enough morning, I guess. I slept rather restlessly, woke a couple of times, and the alarm seemed to come too soon. The headache of yesterday is little more than a dull reminder of my human frailties, lurking in the background this morning. My arthritis is kicking my ass, though.  As I sit and contemplate the imminent dawn, a downpour begins, hammers on the skylights, and passes on. I feel a little cross and out of sorts, without reason – unless pain is reason enough. Is it? lol

I’m okay. Neither wildly excited about the day, nor truly discontent; I sip my latte unenthusiastically and watch the minutes tick by quietly. My thoughts lack focus or theme. I am letting my consciousness coast, and observing the comings and goings of my thoughts.  This is, as yet, a raw and unformed day; it could go a number of ways, and there’s no obvious tendency or trend, yet. This, by itself, is very interesting… I’m not sure I’ve ever been aware of this sort of moment before.

This morning, each breath is a beginning, and a pause, a moment of its own. I wonder where the day will take me?

Wherever the journey leads, it is mine.

Wherever the journey leads, it is mine.

Autumn arrives.

Autumn arrives.

Autumn is my favorite season, generally. Today really felt like fall.  The morning started with a gentle drizzle, and I was cozy wrapped in my fleece hoodie, out of the closet for the first time since spring turned to summer.  It was a lovely walk to work, and a chance to stop here and there to see the fall flowers along the road and in the meadow along my way.

...Here...

…Here…

,..and there.

,..and there.

Hints of fall are all around, leaves turning colors in colder places, and various fruits and berries and hips, rosy red in the morning chill.

rose hips

rose hips

There’s not much to say beyond this.  It’s been a very good day.  Today it is enough.

 

 

I woke this morning in a good place. I would say, if asked, that I ‘feel pretty good’. Everything this morning has gone smoothly, right down to the basically perfect latte I am sipping now.  Why do I also feel a growing edgy discontent?

Big jobs need big tools.

Big jobs need big tools.

I remember that I have new tools, new skills, new ways of viewing old things… and I take a moment to do a quick self-inventory. (“Hey there, Self, just checking in – how are things?”) A couple deep relaxing breaths, and some calm consideration of self, and i find that although I do feel good, and it has been a nice morning so far, I also have a headache – and I so often have headaches that I fail myself on self-care because I don’t acknowledge the pain, discomfort, and reduction in emotional resilience that go with a headache. Generally I ‘don’t notice’ – and what that really means is that I reduce my level of mindfulness until I am no longer aware of the headache – and open myself to a long list of risks and consequences of moving through my day mindlessly. So, this morning, I am allowing myself the freedom to both be in a good place, and be there with this damned headache. 🙂

I have a few things on my mind that I do want to talk about, write about, think about… I am finding it hard to find ‘cognitive space’ for that, and the intervals in my day still available to write, or think, seem to be dwindling away.  (I write those words and suddenly feel so tired…)  There is new stress in my experience – at work – and my routine is being upset.  Doesn’t sound like a big deal, I’m sure, although ‘routine’ is something I use to get around some of the lingering cognitive consequences of my TBI.  I keep expecting that to matter to someone besides me. lol.

Last night was an exceptional evening; hanging out with an old friend, dinner as a family, a leisurely evening hanging out and talking.  I feel like I’m forgetting something… maybe we watched a movie? If we did, right now I don’t remember what it was.  It was the delightful time together that was important.

Today is my new therapy day.  My schedule is changing and I feel uprooted and confused.  It sucks.  I’ll be changing to a new time, too.  I really like stability, and this is not that.  I already feel the effects of these small changes – for one thing, my therapy day is now also a work day. Instead of being entirely focused on my needs, my recovery, my wellness, and therapy-related thinking and self-work, I will be spending it thinking about someone else’s needs, someone else’s work – then racing across town during peak traffic to drop exhausted into my therapist’s office and try to switch gears efficiently and ‘take care of me’ for an hour, then hurry home and try to get enough head space to decompress from what are usually pretty emotionally complicated visits with my therapist, so that I can sleep.  I am aggravated and feel like I am being undermined at a time when I am finally making real progress.  There have been very few experiences in my life that have made me angrier – a bitter seething anger that lacks expression, poisoning me slowly; it feels very connected to ancient anger about powerlessness.  More of life’s challenging curriculum.

Changing seasons and roadside wildflowers as a metaphor.

Changing seasons and roadside wildflowers as a metaphor.

It seems noteworthy that this few moments and words reflecting on my feeling of ‘growing discontent’ and edginess (and realizing that it was my stress about my schedule changing and the knowns and unknowns about that change driving the shift in my mood as I got closer to heading to the office for the morning), positioned me well to observe the feelings, identify the concerns, accept the potential that my experience in therapy may be affected by my change in schedule.  I feel less like I’m driving past a ‘caution’ sign and more like I saw one and slowed down. 😀  I get a real jolt of delight when my new tools work well in a way that actually improves my experience.  My headache even seems to be slowly easing – although that could be the quad latte, and the lovely sunrise unfolding before me.  lol

...sometimes taking a moment for simple beauty is enough.

…sometimes taking a moment for simple beauty is enough.

In spite of challenges, I am making real progress with taking steps beyond just ‘managing’ my PTSD, to real healing, as well as slowly doing what I can to rehabilitate a decades-old TBI.  I’m even satisfied with my progress, and able to appreciate the work I am doing.  This is change for the better – used to be I just couldn’t detect any progress at all, and any hint of improvement in my experience seemed quite fleeting, or even illusory.  This new ability to observe, recognize, accept, and be pleased with growth and improvement is wonderful. 😀

Sometimes it helps to talk things over with a friend... thank you for 'being there'.

Sometimes it helps to talk things over with a friend… thank you for ‘being there’.

It’s morning, but not yet dawn. No hint of light on the horizon, yet. My latte is hot, and as close to my idea of perfect as I have ever made. The house is quiet. I’ve managed thus far without a hint of doubt, insecurity, or anxiety, which is lovely.  There seems less to say on such a morning. I am certainly less inclined to ‘figure it out’. 🙂

A dear friend recently married. He’s the monogamous sort, and smart, caring, and good-hearted. I hope it turns out well for them.  I’ve certainly had an assortment of experiences with marriage, and my thinking on it as evolved over a lifetime. No soap boxes this morning; there is room for every person’s experiences here. 🙂

I’ve had quite a wonderful few days with one of my partners, while the other visited a far away friend.  The company we keep defines a large piece of our experience, doesn’t it? Well… it does seem to for me.  Great friends, positive people, people who ‘get me’, lovers who adore me, partners who support and value me, these are the people who generally fill my days – certainly they are who I seek for that purpose. lol.  Now and again I find myself in the company of people who are bitter, wounded, angry, negative, contrary, sarcastic, or hurtful.  Those are very different experiences.  Sometimes they are the same people. lol. Human primates are fascinating and complicated in all their variety. 🙂

I am thinking of the airport, the good morning kiss of my love lingers on my lips; he decided on going back to bed before he ever really woke, and already I miss him.  I’d have probably started chattering away about airports and people watching if he’d stayed up.  I wonder if he knew? lol  I am entertained sufficiently by my thoughts, musing about people traveling, and how they behave in airport terminals.  I find myself wondering why people don’t dress up to travel much anymore? It isn’t something that ‘matters’, it’s just a stray thought passing through. My mind rarely really rests.  I’ve found so much calm in meditation.  I’m learning to ‘give my brain a rest’. It probably needs it.

Discontent at work seems far away in this moment.  Small things that annoy me seem minuscule and irrelevant.  It’s a lovely quiet morning and for now the successes far outweigh the failures, and the wonders beat the challenges, no question.  It’s a nice perspective.