Archives for posts with tag: autumn mornings

Choosing the Correct Tool

November 5, 2020 //
1

This morning the work day seemed to start too early. To be fair, that’s partially a result of waking later than usual, and having an early morning soak before coffee. It’s just not my usual “order of operations” – but my back is pretty happy with me, and my pain feels well-managed. My coffee is just as satisfying as it would have been, had I chosen to have it first. :-)’

Coffee goes so well with an autumn morning!

Really first-rate self-care relies on me to select wisely from the available tools at hand – as is the case with most projects and work. lol 🙂

I sat down at my desk this morning and eyed my calendar suspiciously. Differences catching my attention without being obvious, and it takes me a moment to fully realize that a couple meetings I expected to slog through have simply disappeared from my day. Nice. I look over the other work planned for this week, and the weeks ahead as the year finishes. Good day for it. I consider my tools, and decide I’ll benefit from something that improves my focus. I put my headphones on, and begin again.

Tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Categories Allegories, Brain Injury, Free Will, Healthy Living, inspiration, Moments, pain, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, The Art of Being

Right Now

October 9, 2013 //
0

Right now, I hurt.  My head aches. My arthritic spine is screaming to be torn free of it’s moorings and replaced with something Teflon-coated. Did I mention my headache?  I’d like to be as vibrant and poised and positive at 5:30 pm as I am at dawn. Today, I am not. Not even close. Not even a little bit.  I am, however, doing my best with what I’ve got, and still feeling generally pleasant as a human being, and capable of ‘getting the job done’, more or less – whatever that may turn out to be.

My head aches, though.  I might have had more to say. I have things on my mind. I had a wonderful moment of … something profound… night before last, with one of my partners.  A seriously healing moment that was significant. A ‘very big deal‘ sort of moment, actually. I want so much to share it explicitly, graphically, analytically – in detail, with TMI, technicolor, an a triumphant shout to the heavens… but I am tired right now. Right now my needs, and the needs of my loved ones, are different.  I feel disappointed that I don’t have ‘more to offer’ – to myself, or the world.

My head aches.

It didn’t ache this morning, when I enjoyed a coffee and some conversation with one partner, who was up unexpectedly early… but I also wasn’t sure how, or whether, to share my experience of two nights ago.  I may have missed my moment.  It was profound – for me.  Now I am tired, and uncertain of what to share with ‘the world’ and what to withhold for myself… and I feel muddled and confused.  This is the part of most days when I am able to observe the most obvious effects of my TBI in action; when I’m tired, when my head aches, at the end of a day.  Just the fatigue alone is enough to have me sitting on the edge of tears – and not for any reason.  I am simply tired beyond emotional regulation.  It sucks.  “Loss of executive function” doesn’t even begin to describe the experience.

I took a picture on the way to work this morning; it makes the morning seem somehow so very far away from now.

The day from another perspective.

The day from another perspective.

My head aches. The day is nearly over. Tomorrow is something entirely new.

Tags , , , , , , , ,
Categories autumn, Brain Injury, Love, Metaphors, Mindfulness, pain, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Relationships