Archives for posts with tag: be the change

How Hard Is It to Be Kind?

April 10, 2020 //

How hard is it to be kind? You know… day in and day out, every day? Harder than it sounds, probably, and sure – it no doubt takes practice. Worth it? Well… which do you prefer, yourself? People who are kind to you, who speak gently, who listen with consideration, and who don’t take small shit personally, or… other sorts? 🙂

I sip my coffee and listen to the sound of the occasional car going by, on the street beyond my window. I think about the effort involved in being kind. I think about my own successes and failures at that endeavor – especially these last few weeks. Seems more important than usual, right now, to be kind.

It feels like so long since the world was free to move about the planet… but, for perspective, that freedom is largely a matter of perspective, and privilege, for a lot of people. The people who have it, feel the lack. The people who did not have it, probably less so. I take a moment, and consider that, too. Seems a good morning for considering things…

I’m still working from home. It’s okay. I think I’ve gotten comfortable with it. My studio becomes a tidier, more carefully arranged, work space each week. I like that; creating order from chaos feels very satisfying (to me). I look around the room… my small space within a less small, less mine, space… I don’t generally feel confined here. Perspective for the win.

I finish my coffee, and prepare for a new day.

Tags another new moment, be kind, be the change, begin again, choose wisely, consider this, emotional self sufficiency, life in the time of pandemic, listening deeply, meditation, perspective, practicing the practices, The Art of Being, there are verbs involved, we become what we practice

Categories Allegories, Free Will, gratitude, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Spring, The Art of Being

Letting the Days Go By

April 9, 2020 //

Talking Heads and coffee, this morning. 🙂 I find myself wondering if that younger me, that 1980 me, could have seen me, as I sit here now, even in her wildest imaginings. Could she have understood that anything like this fairly commonplace contentment and day-to-day ease and joy was even a potential outcome? Could I have gotten here, in life, sooner? I think about what that might have taken to achieve. Then I consider what it might have taken from me, to have achieved it “sooner”… I mean, timing has had it’s own results, actually. (For starters, I likely would not have ended up in the line of work I am presently, nor would I have met my Traveling Partner.)

YouTube stalls. I find myself both annoyed and amused. (“Oh no! What will I do without my digital media fix!!?” is a fairly insignificant thing to bitch about in the grander scheme of things, right? Read books. lol) I sip my coffee watching the lights inside my computer tower blink and flash and fade. Pretty. I run the network diagnostic on this computer. Everything appears fine “on my end”. I shrug it off as “gremlins” and try again. Everything’s fine.

How often is life like that? We have a momentary challenge, perhaps a moment of frustration, and we escalate into full troubleshooting “fight the system!” mode, without pausing even a moment for perspective… and that challenge melts away to the petty nothing it always was, at some point. Given a moment, that may have occurred much sooner…but being human, we often don’t give a situation that moment that it needs – a moment of real presence. A moment for perspective. We often put more emphasis (and value) on acting quickly than on acting wisely. Something to think on for awhile, at least for me. 🙂

The music plays on. I sip my coffee thinking about perspective, and presence, and the value in taking a moment. 🙂

Days go by, even in this life in the time of pandemic. Social Distancing – still a thing. Yesterday’s sunny day brought people outdoors, probably too many, too soon. It makes sense to remain cautious, and considerate. I sip my coffee and plan the day ahead. I’m grateful for delivery services, “contactless”curbside pick up services, and streaming media. I sip my coffee, grateful for “sanity projects”, and a comfortable place to live.

This empty cup, and the clock on my computer, remind me it is time to begin again. 🙂

Tags be the change, begin again, being thrifty, choose wisely, days go by, don't panic, emotional self sufficiency, gratitude, life in the time of pandemic, MBSR, meditation, perspective, practice consideration, practicing the practices, sanity projects, social distancing, sufficiency, taking a moment, Talking Heads, The Art of Being, there are verbs involved, this life, we become what we practice, YOLO

Categories Allegories, Free Will, gratitude, health, Healthy Living, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Spring, The Art of Being, The Big 5, Uncategorized

Grieving & Tight Socks

April 8, 2020 //

I’m relaxed and smiling this morning. I’m happy yesterday is behind me. Though I had gone into it expecting the day to be in some small way “celebratory”, the day had something very different in mind for me. I spent much of my morning in a state of frustration (because, reasons) and grief (over my Mother’s death last summer), bouncing between tears, and a roller-coaster of (mostly) negative emotions of various sorts. It was hard on me, and hard on my Traveling Partner, who was, let’s be honest, having his own experience, too.

…Turns out grieving colors our experience, and socks that are too tight can wreck a potentially delightful day. Who knew? (Well, probably most of us, but nonetheless, we can all be taken by surprise over such things, and that is what is so unexpected.)

Once my partner and I recognized that I was struggling with grieving (and feeling fairly foolish about it, some 9+ months after my Mom died), dealing with my bullshit was easier. Dealing with his? I shrug it off, now, as “humans gonna be human”, but yesterday was hard for both of us, for a variety of reasons. At some point after I went to bed last night, he realized that his physical discomfort (see “socks that are too tight”, above) was wrecking his mood. This morning he was merry and comfortable, his usual loving self. I was over whatever (grief) was biting my ass, yesterday, too. Very different experience of each other. 🙂

Building a life characterized by contentment and sufficiency does not, ever, guarantee a smooth easy ride to the end of a happy life. lol There are verbs involved. Results may vary. We’re each having our own experience. Bullshit and drama are a very human experience. So. Sipping my morning coffee this morning, feeling infused with perspective, and decently well-rested (although short on sleep). Will it be a good day? No idea – but it is a new one. I get to begin again. 🙂

Tags be love, be the change, begin again, breathe, emotional self sufficiency, grieving is a process, life in the time of pandemic, listening deeply, love and lovers, love each other, love in the time of pandemic, MBSR, OPD, p.s. I love you, perspective, practicing the practices, relationships, sufficiency, take a deep breath, The Art of Being, the worthiest endeavor, there are verbs involved, we become what we practice, what matters most?, work at it, your results may vary

Categories Allegories, Anxiety, Brain Injury, forgiveness, Free Will, Frustration, gratitude, grief, Healthy Living, Love, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, Relationships, Spring, The Art of Being

Waiting, Balancing, Pacing Myself

April 4, 2020 //

There’s a certain “order” and “flow” to circumstances that sometimes requires a bit of waiting, of patience, of carefully and clearly resetting expectations, and occasionally, even that has to be revisited, reinvented, or repeated along the way. I sip my coffee and remind myself how effortlessly easy it truly is to wait for something – it is the impatience to reach the goal that is the hard part. lol Letting that go, and the waiting? Well, it’s just letting time pass while I do other things, right? 🙂

Big things and small things, life has a lot of “wait for it” built into it. lol It’s neither a good thing, nor a bad thing – it’s just a thing to account for, to accept, to shrug off as one of life’s unavoidable, inevitable experiences. Rich or poor, we’ve all waited for something.

…Yesterday, I was waiting for a delivery of live fish to arrive on my doorstep. Today, I am waiting for a future moment in time. It’s a chill Saturday, well-suited to waiting on moments, contentedly, patiently, considerately, and even gently. The moment will arrive, and when it does, perhaps the waiting will have become “preparing”, “planning”, or some sort of desirable state of readiness, or another?

Aren’t we all waiting, right now? Waiting for the return of what we each understand as “normalcy”? Waiting for the moment we can meet up with our friends over coffee, or that moment we can host a big neighborhood barbecue (or attend one), or that moment when, through a crowd of strangers, we spot that person we know we love… so many moments are on hold right now. Vacations, journeys, endeavors, projects, group gatherings of all sorts… we’re all waiting. In the meantime, we’re all also living our lives. How’s that going for you, right now? 🙂 I hope your wise choices are resulting in a measure of contentment and joy that makes it all quite bearable.

Oh, and yes, the fish did arrive. It was a peculiar afternoon of timely arrivals, actually. My Traveling Partner and I enjoyed an evening punctuated by timely arrivals, and moments of joy, and discussions of our future together – in a time beyond the pandemic. We enjoyed the evening we had in front of us, savored the depth of our conversation, the intimacy of our shared connection, and the commitment to a shared future. It was quite lovely. There is so much more to talk about and to share that pandemic-related content. lol

So… another cup of coffee, another new day. I don’t know what it holds, and I can’t see the future. Nevertheless, I’m waiting, patiently, and contentedly, for another moment, while I enjoy this one right here. 🙂

Tags balancing needs and wants, be the change, begin again, choose wisely, emotional self sufficiency, enjoying this moment, handle good news with care, I am my own cartographer, listening deeply, making a plan, MBSR, opportunities, p.s. I love you, pacing myself, perspective, planning the future, small joys, sufficiency, The Art of Being, there are verbs involved, waiting, walking my own path, we become what we practice, what matters most?, when normalcy returns who will I be?

Categories Allegories, Free Will, gratitude, health, Healthy Living, inspiration, Love, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, Spring, The Art of Being, The Big 5

Gratitude

April 2, 2020 //

It’s a lovely morning for gratitude. Yesterday, too. My Traveling Partner said something about it, yesterday, and it still resonates with me, this morning; we are fortunate. I can work from home, and still have my job. He’s here with me, and we’re sheltering in place and social distancing, together. We’ve got what we need, generally speaking, to get by, with reasonable comfort, day-to-day. The things we are going without, are endurable inconveniences. We’re very fortunate.

…This will be true even after the toilet paper runs out…

…Realistically speaking, a lot of that “good fortune” is a matter of literal “luck”, and timing as much as any specific planning or preparedness. I sip my coffee and fill up on feeling grateful; it could be so much worse. It is, for a lot of people (maybe you…). The economic impact is real. The impact to human wellness and quality of life is real. The convenient delivery services available to some, are not affordable for all. Some people don’t even have a roof over their heads, and are forced to “shelter in place” on parking lot surfaces marked out by tape. Some people are actually trapped on cruise ships waiting around for the virus to catch up with them. Scary times.

When I start feeling restless, cooped up here at home, I remind myself how much this matters, and how fortunate I actually am. I sip my coffee quietly, appreciating how much harder this would be, if the coffee ran out, if the water was shut off, if the power got cut, if my partnership was unhealthy or my relationship an abusive one… This is a morning for gratitude.

I’m also grateful for the artists, performers, entertainers of all sorts, who continue to do what they do, making it available on YouTube, or a variety of other streaming services and web sites. Grateful for the connectivity that puts those things within reach. I’m grateful for unread books, and favorites worth re-reading.

…I’m grateful for love.

It’s enough to be able to begin again.

Tags a matter of luck, be here now, be the change, begin again, break in place, breathe, choose wisely, emotional self sufficiency, good self-care, grateful, gratitude, life in the time of pandemic, MBSR, mindfulness for beginners, perspective, practicing the practices, social distancy, stay at home, sufficiency, there are verbs involved, we become what we practice, what matters most?

Categories Allegories, Anxiety, Free Will, gratitude, health, Healthy Living, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Relationships, Spring

How Hard Is It to Be Kind?

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Letting the Days Go By

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Grieving & Tight Socks

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Waiting, Balancing, Pacing Myself

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Gratitude

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