Archives for posts with tag: look out here comes tomorrow

…No fear.  Last night was lovely, and this morning, too. Chill time in the evening, each doing our own thing, no strain, no distress; the hours passed quickly into night, and the night was serene.  I woke feeling… something complicated and good.  After some time meditating and a little yoga, I checked my email. (I often don’t bother with technology in the morning at all.)  An email from a friend reminded me that there is a future and a world beyond the quiet of dawn, and i took a moment to face my fears a bit practically, with great compassion for my need for routine and certainty.

I feel calm, and I feel… ready? Ready. It’s a sense of self that goes just a bit beyond ‘feeling secure’ or confident. It carries with it years of experience, relevant and irrelevant, and a powerful will – and this morning, it also has humor, resolve, and perspective.  Perspective has gotten to be a big deal with me, lately.  😀

So, another work day ahead of me, and I am poised at the edge of a promising future. Funny to be 50 and still looking ahead… I wonder what life will hold in 2023? 2033? 2063? Damn I’d love to be here for all of that and more!

I’ve been hard on myself for a really long time. This morning, I am treating myself well.  If we run into each other later – I’ll treat you well, too.  If we each make a practice of reliably treating ourselves well, and sharing that with the people we interact with each day, each moment…  I actually don’t have an ending for that sentence. Let’s explore the outcome together?

simple beauty

simple beauty

It’s been a lovely evening after an interesting day.  It’s been a day of ordinary pleasures and extraordinary love.  Good lattes, great conversations with people I love, moments of delight and respect, moments of wonder, moments of excitement, even a moment or two of complicated emotions I don’t really have words for at all.  Now, night has fallen. The household is quiet. Ahead of me, a few moments taking care of me; meditation, yoga, a shower, and some unmeasured time gazing at my aquarium before I sleep.  There is really no need to look back to see what is behind me, not right now. Now is simply…this quiet place, this quiet time.  I am not always this aware of how little assurance there really is of having one such beautiful moment of peace and contentment. I am aware, for now, how unwise it is to count on having this moment – or any one moment – of such specific pleasure.

Still… and it is ‘still’ right now… Still, this moment is this peaceful, and I am content. Quite content. It’s very nice. I’d be happy to feel this way a lot more than I generally do.  I’m here right now, though, and I am enjoying it for what it is, without reservation.

There are so many small delights in this brief moment… the laptop… the MC Frontalot t-shirt… the knowledge  that so many people who matter so much to me are only as far away as this keyboard, and their own. In that sense, we’re almost touching… I hear the rain coming down again, and the cat creeping across the roof… and quiet.

Shhh… Here comes the future…