Archives for posts with tag: mindfulness matters

This was a weird week. Work felt like 3 Mondays – and I believe 3 Mondays make a case (…of the… lol. I know, it’s bad.) Yeah. So. Today, though? Not a Monday.

The morning started with a foggy drizzle and chilly, still, air. No breeze. No traffic. The commute was easy. I don’t remember it in any detail, aside from the pure moment of delight as the signal light at intersection after intersection turned green immediately ahead of me. Bliss! I maintained a disciplined eye on my speed, marveling at the sequence of intersections, and enjoyed the uninterrupted momentum. I wasn’t speeding, wasn’t going slow… just… driving. It was lovely.

I parked and stood in the chilly morning cityscape for some minutes, just breathing, listening, watching. It felt… mischievous and tempting. I considered getting back in the car and going… where? Somewhere. Somewhere new, or strange, or… away.Β  Ah. Is that it? I smile at the morning, gray and misty. Am I needing “a getaway”? Cuz… that usually means I’m not taking care of myself, and have made that infernal “to do list” a bit too long. I nod wisely to myself, as if I think I know something, and head to the elevator to enjoy a few hours of feeling like I know things.

I got home less concerned about knowing, and more focused on being. It’s a chilly evening. I turn on the gas fireplace. I make a cup of tea. I put everything else aside and properly care for this fragile vessel, and the woman in the mirror.

…At least for the moment, I am not concerned with politics, the scary world we’ve made, how mean people can be to each other, the cost of living life, my health, mortality, or bank account. I’m just sipping this cup of tea, and taking a few quiet minutes. (You think I’m writing; this laptop is balanced carefully in my lap, I am seated on my meditation cushion, with a cup of hot tea gently perched on my knee – a sneeze could be very costly right about now – and I am sitting contentedly with my thoughts, and the lovely view of autumn arriving slowly, and only writing now and then… and almost not at all.

I sit awhile.

Then awhile more.

I finish my tea, and continue, seated… relaxed.

…Sometime, later, I begin again. πŸ˜‰

Well then.

I did get safely home. I did not rant at cars the whole way or fill the entire universe with vile invective. I did not. The one momentary loss of reserve happened to occur while I was on the phone with my Traveling Partner, as I was making a feeble attempt to disregard the guy ahead of me driving 10 mph in a 30 mph zone, during rush hour traffic, with cars bumper to bumper behind me – and blue skies and open road ahead of him. Well, shit. That was frustrating. It’s an everyday practice now; can I get from point A to point B, driving a car in traffic, without losing my cool? I generally can, these days. Now and then, I’m just… astonished to the point of lost perspective that people can be such shitty drivers so much of the time. I mean, seriously? What the hell. Safety first, definitely, but omg, then? Please also actually just drive your damned car like you plan to get somewhere. lol

…On the other hand? I set myself up for it today. I went in to work early. I worked without taking breaks. I failed to have a second cup of coffee when I got to my desk. I think I had a bite of lunch…but I clearly did so mindlessly; I don’t remember it at all. I hear it was a great lunch at the office today… I almost certainly had something… By the time I got into afternoon traffic, great dark storm clouds were blotting out the sinking sun, it was much later than I’d have left under other circumstances. I had a headache, and my blood sugar was almost certainly low. The other drivers weren’t the only shitty drivers on the road; my own judgment was surely impaired by my approach to the task, as I was rushing toward my destination, attempting to “beat my blood sugar home”.

(…Um… That’s not how that works.)

I was doing a fairly shitty job of really adulting today… but I was highly productive. For my employer. At the expense of my well-being. Which does not remotely achieve the goal and purpose of working for a living. See that? That’s a word. Words matter. They convey meaning.

I got safely home – even found my lost perspective shortly after I got off the (hands-free) phone call with my partner, who made a point to keep it super short (even though we enjoy talking). It was no doubt evident I was not at my best. He’s sharp like that. Aware of my mood. Aware of my… awareness. πŸ™‚ First thing in the door, once I arrived home, I heated up some soup, and took care of the thing most likely to drive volatility at that point, my blood sugar. I took time to have a big glass of water. I took time to reeeeeeally stretch, and then relax. I went out onto the deck and inhaled the rain fresh air, and watched the storm clouds moving in for more. I sat down to tackle an errand I’d have been in no shape for, if I hadn’t managed my self-care, and then re-assessed the evening.

I rushed off without writing this morning, and didn’t even notice. In the settling gloom of twilight, arriving home rain scented to a stress-free space, I started seeing the thread, how the day developed from that first rushed moment, and never, ever, let up, not even once. It wasn’t a bad day. It was, in fact, generally speaking, a good day – pocked with challenging moments that weren’t even actually bad, just very busy. I’m tired. Cognitively fatigued, but brain still buzzing with busy-ness. If I don’t hop down off this mental treadmill, there won’t be any sleep for me tonight, and the work day will start even earlier tomorrow, and I’ll be short-tempered, error-prone, and lacking in both perspective and sense of humor. Get me tired enough, pile on a few more days, and I fall back on routine and process to keep me going to the point that any deviation at all holds the potential to see me really losing my perspective and ability to reason clearly. So… “Let’s have none of that…” I think at myself. Amused by the notion that just throwing words at the problem could solve anything. This? This needs action. Action… not words. Action …words? Action words.

Verbs.

Fucking verbs again. Damn it. I’m tired and silly. I’ve given all of what I had, today, to my employer, and really there’s nothing much left for me. Acknowledging it is enough to fill my eyes with tears, and my lip trembles. I feel like a child… Then, I wonder what I think I mean by that?

I keep sipping on my soup. It’s warm and comforting. Filling. Soothing. Tears never quite come; I’m finally taking care of this person I say matters to me that I’ve been fairly literally abusing all damned day. I let myself have that moment of self-directed anger. I really “listen” to the frustration and, yes, even “hurt feelings” that result from just treating myself like dirt all day. In my mind, I imagine a toddler storming at a parent, raging, stomping, “I’m mad at you!!”.

…”Yeah, kid,” I think back at myself, “I’m mad at me, too. I can do better. I’m sorry.” My eyes fill again briefly, and the moment passes. I feel myself pout a bit mentally, when it hits me… and I hear that hurt child-like inner voice again, “you didn’t leave any time at all for cartoons”.

Shit. That does suck.

I glance at the time. I really do need to slow things down, a lot, or I won’t sleep. I put aside the notion of doing more, other, stuff. I dim the lights quite a lot. Yoga, meditation, and an early night will have to do this evening. It’s a poor choice to stare at an illuminated screen for any length of time, this late, all wound up this way. I take a few moments to medicate, and get ready to head for my meditation cushion.

It’s time to hit the reset button. Tomorrow I can begin again. πŸ™‚

That was my first thought when I got home last night; this looks like the end of summer. A soft rain was falling, and the deck was littered with fallen leaves. I turned off the A/C, probably for the year; an open window will be adequate from this point, most likely.

…I think to check the weather. My assumptions, my internal narrative, my recollections of prior years… none of these rise to the level of “facts”; I check the weather, this morning. My musings on an autumn-feeling evening are not relevant to my experience of what the weather may be on a late summer morning. There is rain in the forecast, and a high of 68. Yep. That’s autumn. πŸ˜€

It’s time for change.

The seasons are changing. The wheel continues to turn. There’s no avoiding evolving without actually quitting the journey entirely. We’re aren’t really made for standing still.

I take a deep breathe, and glance at the clock. I finish my almond milk chai latte with lingering amusement that I woke too lazy to make a cup of coffee. I don’t have to settle for that, with myself. I shrug and smile into the pre-dawn darkness.

It’s time to begin again. πŸ™‚

I am relaxing over one final coffee for today. (More after this time of day reliably disturbs my sleep later on, so, generally, noon is my cut off for coffee unless I am planning to “make a night of it” for some event or activity.) I am feeling content and thoughtful.

I took my first Qigong class today. The main focus was on some basics: “four count breathing”, “horse stance”, and a very slow walking meditation. It was fun, comfortable, challenging without being frustrating, and “harder than it looks” to do quite correctly – which means room to grow and push myself. πŸ™‚ It seems a good fit for my needs, generally. I’m pretty eager to make it a practice; that was sort of the entire point of undertaking today’s exploratory lesson, at all. πŸ™‚

How is it I’m feeling sleepy? lol I also feel, generally, pretty well-rested.

Change is work. Sometimes it’s physical labor, sometimes just cognitive effort, but regardless; changing requires some verbs, and verbs require effort, and effort amounts to work. πŸ™‚ We become what we practice, whether by force of will or happenstance. Each time I’ve undertaken some specific change, and followed through on my intentions with actual effort and commitment, doing so has changed me. We become what we practice. Our practices change our thinking, as well as our physical selves.

Where will your path take you?

I hear from my Traveling Partner, off somewhere or another, doing his thing, living his life, enjoying the day. I smile when I think about him. It’s a sunny day at the end of summer, neither hot nor cold, with a soft breeze that touches my skin quite gently. A good day for leisure, for contemplation, for gardening, for housekeeping, for errands, for exercise, for hiking, for napping… just generally a pleasant day. I finish off my coffee with an enthusiastic commitment to enjoy it fully.

…And now? Why, yet another beginning, most likely. I could begin laundry, or begin the dishwasher’s wash cycle, or begin tidying up the container garden for autumn, or begin studying a new language, or begin reading a new book, or begin work on a new canvas. I could also use this moment to resume something – a new beginning on existing endeavors is still a new beginning. There’s pretty nearly always some convenient way to step forward into a new moment, energized, renewed, and ready to move on with things, generally. This seems the sort of moment for it…

My coffee is finished. It’s time to begin again. πŸ™‚

What’s leaning on you? What are you doing to get some relief? (It’s just a question.)

This morning I woke so slowly and so deliciously at ease that I didn’t really notice the transition from dreaming to thinking, from sleeping to waking; I simply realized at some point that I was, indeed, actually awake, and had been for some unnoticed, unmeasured time. I got up with more than usual ease and freedom of movement, too. I moved gently through the usual details of mornings: a shower, yoga, that first delicious hot cup of coffee, and catching up on the world a bit.

I feel… “relieved”.

I followed up with meditation, sitting contentedly in the open patio doorway, gazing out into the trees and my small container garden, as a soft rain fell. It’s hard to imagine a more delightfully contented moment.

I enjoy the soft rain after the scorching days of summer.

Much of the day, today, is being spent writing letters and calling legislators about issues that matter to me, mostly labor and wage stuff, quality of life concerns, universal healthcare, and judicial reform. I take some time for me, too; this right here and now me, the woman in the mirror – I’ve got some needs of my own, that are on my mind (wellness and quality of life concerns). I check out a Tai Chi studio online… I plan my weekend hikes.

Sometimes it is hard to really relax and completely recharge with just two days of weekend. This weekend I’ve got 4 days to work with. It’s quite wonderful.

I take a sip of what is left of my now cold coffee. There’s definitely time to enjoy another cup. I smile at the thought of my sparkling clean kitchen, and think happy thoughts about how supportive and helpful my Traveling Partner is, and how wonderful love is, just generally. Having a little help now and then can make so much difference! I remind myself gently that it is also helpful to ask for it when I need it, instead of letting myself fall behind.

Self-care takes a lot of forms. Like yoga, dance, flow practices, or martial arts, self-care has so many varied forms and combinations of supportive practices, it would seem possible that any one of us could assemble a system of practices that work ideally well for this one particular singular unique human primate that we are… It’s a damned big menu, though, and the variety itself can overwhelm and confuse. One thing at a time then? Why not? Pick up a practice. Practice it “awhile” – days, weeks, months, whatever it takes to determine with reliable certainty whether it is “for you” – let it go, if it isn’t. Keep it up, if it is. Either way, there’s no avoiding those verbs. We become what we practice. Incremental change over time can be so damned slow, but… it does happen. With practice. With repetition. With study. Each day a new beginning, and ample opportunity to fail, to be mistaken, to get it wrong, to re-do something, to try again – to become the human being we most want to be.

There are no short cuts.

It’s time. Make the most of the opportunity. ❀