Knowing we are each having our own experience (and I’m assuming you do know that, possibly accept and/or understand it, or are willing to participate in this moment with me by temporarily suspending your skepticism on this point…) it still hasn’t been easy to describe or even understand why some things hurt, however briefly, when upon rational examination they seem so reasonable. Take ‘feedback’ for example. (I’ll define that as a moment of verbal information offered from one individual to another regarding a specific shared experience or communication that the offered information addresses directly, either by way of a desired correction in verbiage, demeanor, or behavior, or to offer praise in support of specific verbiage, demeanor, or behavior. Sound reasonable? I’m hoping that definition excludes humor, and meanness… ) I sometimes take feedback very badly – and sometimes quite appreciatively and graciously (I know, I’ve been there. lol).  It’s got to be hard on people who care about me to find themselves facing tears over sometime really simple and well-intended. I’m very sure I’m right about that, because they also often seem very relieved and appreciative when it goes well.  I think I figured out something about the feedback thing I didn’t understand before… but, I am not sure I can easily describe what I think I understand.

How about a metaphor? If I am holding hands with my lover, and gently stroking the delicate skin of the inside of their wrist with my thumb, softly, sensuously, over and over… eventually, even though I love them, and even though initially it probably felt lovely, it becomes irritating (try it, don’t take my word for it). Likewise, if I am wounded or have an injury, touches, however gentle, to that source of pain will definitely hurt – even if the intention is not hurtful, and the touch itself, in some other place, would be welcome.  So… perhaps, some specific topics of feedback, or specific requests, delivered often enough over a lifetime eventually sting a bit, even if they are ‘right on the mark’ and quite properly needful, and even ‘welcomed’ once the sting is gone? Perhaps some feedback lands on old wounds that are not properly healed? Yep… I think that gets my point… but I don’t know what to properly do with this thought. (Other than ‘share it with the world via blog post’. lol) How do I hear and make use of good feedback without taking it personally or allowing it to pull at old wounds? I know I can’t reasonably expect my loved ones and friends to read my mind, or know what bits of long-standing pain and delicacy are lurking in my great unknown.  One more thing to think about.

I’m in a good place today. It’s a nice day at home, doing some housework, doing some homework, and hoping that each opportunity to share an experience with my partners is the sort that builds a memory worth hanging onto for a lifetime. 🙂