I tossed and turned a bit during the night. My sleep was disturbed by surreal dreams that seemed real enough in the moment to confuse me when I woke. My silent alarm woke me gently, but I woke feeling quite groggy and went through the motions of getting ready for the day feeling a little numb and disoriented. It all ended up pretty routine, anyway. Easy commute into the city. Gray clouds filling a dim pre-dawn sky as I parked. Sparse lights here and there in condo towers as other early risers get things started for another new day.

…I find myself wishing, again, that I weren’t in so much pain…

I make coffee in the office after I get my laptop set up. I catch up on email and pings and look over my day plan. I sip my coffee.

Still feeling sort of foggy and stupid, I step outside to breathe the cool raining morning air for a minute. It doesn’t really change anything, but it is pleasant. That’s enough. I breathe, exhale, relax, and do my best to let go of my steady awareness of my arthritis pain; it’s not helpful to allow it to be the focus of every moment. I stretch, and sigh, and go back into the office. My coffee is tasty and hot and it sort of anchors me to the moment. Stabilizing. Comforting. I think of my Traveling Partner, and hope that he is still sleeping and getting good rest for the work day ahead.

…I kind of want to just go back to bed…

Autumn. Funny season, and my favorite, but as the day length changes with the calendar, and the weather turns rainier, I find myself yearning for long lazy leisure days of morning naps and afternoon coffees, and evenings by the fire. I think ahead to the end of the day, and remind myself to have a soak in the hot tub if it isn’t pouring down rain. Mmmm… that sounds delightful. 😀

The local murder of crows passes between the buildings beyond the window, very near by. I wish I’d had my camera ready for that shot. They settle in the trees in the park below. The sky begins to lighten, reminding me that a new day has started… and it’s time to begin again.