Archives for the month of: February, 2024
Newer Entries »

A Dreadful Coffee, A Good Time

February 3, 2024 //
0

My morning coffee this morning is truly awful. Made it myself, and I’ve made a few bad cups of coffee in this lifetime – this one’s a standout among them. lol It’s early on a Saturday, in a small somewhat shabby hotel, in a lovely quiet spot on the Oregon coast, though, and if all I have to complain about is a shitty cup of drip coffee made in a poor quality plastic drip coffee machine from provided (and likely ancient) pre-measured ground coffee… well… it’s a damned good morning, generally, eh? 😀 I alternate sips of water (cool and refreshing) and sips of coffee (g’damn this is terrible), and check to see what time the nearest good quality coffee may be available this morning (it’s “off season” and quite a few of the small cafes and such are closed on a seasonal basis, taking a pleasant break during the rainy winter months). 07:00 a.m. looks like the earliest I could go out and fetch back a good cup of coffee, and by then I’m likely to be wanting a bite of breakfast and maybe a walk on the beach…

…I think things over while I sip my bad cup of coffee, and lean on the experience as useful perspective, and a launch point for a moment of gratitude; as bad as this cup of coffee is, it’s here, it’s hot, and it’ll do what coffee does to kick start my morning. It’s enough, and I’m grateful for a world in which coffee exists and is (still) reliably available to a person of average means. (Realistically, that may not always be the case.)

…Good grief this is a bad cup of coffee though…

I slept well and deeply again last night. Sleep pulled me down into it’s dreamy depths relatively early (again). The walking and the sea air combine to find me truly ready for sleep by the end of the day, and it’s quite lovely. I slept a bit more than 10 hours and woke to the sound of ocean waves pounding the rip-rap at the base of the hotel property, feeling rested and refreshed. The hotel has been surprisingly quiet on this visit, and I’ve enjoyed that greatly. The morning begins gently, and I feel pretty good – less stiffness and less pain than yesterday, which is promising for the day ahead.

I shut off the desk light in the room – I don’t need it to write, and it obscures my view of daybreak and the sunrise-to-come. I smile at the fractional moon overhead, as it sets, and marvel for a moment at the way it shimmers on the bay. I open the door to the balcony, and the chilly sea air. A handful of ships in the distance reveal themselves by their lights; I’d never see them during the daylight hours without a more powerful zoom than any I brought, the their lights twinkle away in the dim blue of dawn.

A brand new day. What will I do with it?

I sip my coffee, feeling “more awake” as the quantity remaining dwindles. I think about breakfast, and choose a local favorite breakfast spot I haven’t yet tried. I listen to the waves, louder just now for some reason. I watch the gulls soaring and gliding playfully on the early morning breezes and the updraft alongside the hotel wall. The morning sky begins to shed its deeper hues in favor of something closer to a baby blue or a robin’s egg blue. Looks like a good day to wander and wonder unfolding ahead of me. I smile and finish my terrible cup of coffee, and prepare to begin again.

Tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Categories Allegories, breathe, Free Will, gratitude, Healthy Living, inspiration, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, The Art of Being, winter

Downtime

February 2, 2024 //
0

I woke to a vibrating notification on my device, which was on a table on the other side of the room. The room I woke in was “a strange place”, and filled with light when I woke; I had left the curtain partially open expecting daybreak to wake me. It didn’t. It was almost 08:00 a.m., and I’d slept nearly 11 hours. My Traveling Partner woke ahead of me, and had messaged me the good morning greeting that ultimately woke me.

The view I woke to.

It’s a lovely morning. It’s hours later and I’m still groggy. I’m in a ferocious amount of physical pain this morning, and struggling to feel properly awake. It’s a feeling not unlike the feeling one might have after consuming too many “medibles” the day before, and then trying to wake up too early (which is hilarious, since I didn’t use any cannabis at all yesterday). I feel sludgy and slow and dreamy, as if trapped in some partially awakened state. I feel fairly certain I could just go back to bed, and continue to sleep still more. I laugh when I realize I may have subtly set myself up for this moment simply by being so eager to “get some downtime” – I made it okay with myself, and my brain took it from there. I can relax and take it easy, nap if I want to, laze around if I want to, chill with a book or whatever I please. Apparently… I’m tired enough that my body went all-in on getting some actual rest. LOL

I listen to the sounds of the waves crashing on the beach where the channel meets the sea. The tide is going out, and will be at it’s lowest today at about 12:30 p.m. That’ll be a great time to walk the beach, with the warmth of the afternoon sun on my back. There’s no need to rush. I teeter on the edge of going back to bed to nap or read (or read and nap)… or… making my way out into the world long enough to get a good cup of coffee. lol It’s a tough choice, this morning, and it seems likely that napping will win… on the other hand… this first coffee, this morning, is relatively poor quality hotel coffee, and I would very much like a good cup of coffee. lol I just don’t know, and I have all day to make up my mind (if that’s how I want to spend the day).

I spent a lot of yesterday morning and afternoon walking, and my legs ache, reminding me of it. Funny that I’m stalled in this here and now, betwixt decision-making, taking action, or just napping. lol I almost trick myself into thinking I “should” do something… but escaping the “shoulds” and the “have to’s” and the sensation of falling behind on too much that wants my attention is the entire point of this short getaway; letting all that pressure fall away, and taking my ease for just a day or two, and letting my mind rest are my highest priorities today. So.

I’ve no idea where this day will take me – maybe nowhere. I’ll find out when I begin again.

A visitor stops by while I wonder what the day may hold.
Tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Categories Allegories, breathe, Free Will, gratitude, Healthy Living, meditation, Metaphors, Moments, Perspective, The Art of Being, winter

Filling the Empty Vessel

February 1, 2024 //
0

I hit the road a bit earlier than I’d planned, but happily so. I got a few things done to provide for my Traveling Partner’s comfort while I am away, and did a bit of tidying up, too. The drive was beautiful – mild temperatures, clear skies with just a few fluffy clouds scooting past on the breeze, and sunshine – it felt like Spring, and there was no traffic.

A great day for a drive.

I arrived at my destination too early to check in to the hotel, so I went from favorite beach to favorite view point to favorite quiet corner, stopping to walk the beach, or sit in quiet meditation on a bench, rock, or driftwood log. It was a lovely way to pass solitary hours, and I arrived at the hotel nearer to check-in time with a smile on my face and feeling very relaxed.

After check-in, I discovered that the elevator was being serviced… so… several round trips from the ground floor parking up the stairs to the 4th floor room later, and I was finally “moved in”. 😀 I unpacked enough to plug in the computer, check my connectivity, verify my Blue Tooth devices were doing their thing, and put my phone on a charger. I unpacked toiletries to the bathroom counter. I grabbed my book, kicked off my shoes (put on my slippers) and sat down with a cup of tea and a contented sigh.

Afternoon sunshine.

…I woke up later, the sun going down and twilight taking over… my Traveling Partner had pinged me a reminder that a favorite creator has a new episode coming out tonight. I say thanks, and set a reminder; something fun we can “do together” while we’re apart. I like that. There’s certainly room in my experience for that kind of shared fun. 😀

I shake off the remnants of sleepiness, and drink my (now cold) tea. I broke 3 finger nails getting my luggage to my room, so I cut my nails back and file them smooth to reduce the chances that I’ll end up biting them down to the quick. I make a fresh cup of tea (chamomile), and drag a chair onto the balcony to watch the light fade – no beautiful sunset on this cloudy overcast evening, but I love listening to the waves crash in, and breathing the fresh sea breeze. It’s a moment to savor, and very satisfying just as it is.

The ceaseless ringing in my ears is almost masked by the sound of wind and water. My headache almost fades into the background of calm and contentment. My arthritic spine seems irrelevant in this moment. It’s lovely. It’s enough. I sit with it awhile – as long as I can before darkness falls. It’s a good time to enjoy the evening light before I begin again.

Tags , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Categories Allegories, breathe, Free Will, gratitude, Healthy Living, inspiration, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, The Art of Being, winter

Now

February 1, 2024 //
0

The day began earlier than it needed to, and I am okay with it. I’m waiting for daybreak to get a walk in while my Traveling Partner sleeps. Afterwards, I will make a trip to the grocery store to stock up on things he likes (and can make pretty easily), and then do a bit of tidying up before I finally finish packing, load the car, and hit the road for a couple quiet days of (hopefully) restful downtime.

I spend a few minutes meditating. I look over my packing list for obvious omissions. I update my to-do list. I sit quietly, taking note of how my body feels, and “where my head is at”.

My tinnitus is loud today and I am in more pain than usual. I’m physically uncomfortable, but I also feel pretty good emotionally, and generally quite merry and eager to face the day. Learning to hold space for these very different experiences at the same time took a long time to learn, and longer still to recognize the value in doing so, but so worth it. Being able to acknowledge and enjoy what’s going well in spite of what’s going poorly is a way of preventing shitty experiences or feelings from wrecking my entire moment (or day). Handy, considering how often I am in pain.

I take a breath and sigh as I exhale. It’s early, but I go ahead and take something to help manage my pain. Self-care is important to my own well-being, sure, and it’s also something I can do to support my relationships; miserable people make other people miserable, too. I’m not miserable with pain yet, but I could easily become so, and that’d be a crappy way to start off on a few days solo.

I’ve packed my paint box. My camera is ready, too. I’ve put the Lord of the Rings “Return of the King” in my bag, planning to finish it. There’s very little packing left to do (my CPAP, my pillow, things I was using during the night mostly). I’m really down to doing things to maximize my Traveling Partner’s comfort and convenience while I am gone. I take a moment to sit in quiet contemplation; I am so grateful to have a partner who is comfortable with me taking a few days solo now and then, and who truly supports my emotional wellness.

I smile, thinking about how much I know I will miss my partner, even though I am choosing to be away, and really need this time. I also know I will return home eagerly and happy to see him, and to love and be loved. It’s useful perspective to miss each other now and then.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. Soon it will be daybreak. Soon it will be time to begin again.

Tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Categories Allegories, art and the artist, Brain Injury, breathe, Free Will, gratitude, health, Healthy Living, inspiration, Love, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Oregon Trails, pain, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, Relationships, solo hiking, The Art of Being, winter
Newer Entries »