Archives for category: Oregon Trails

I’m relaxing on a Sunday afternoon. It’s been a lovely day, and a great weekend. Oh, nothing unusual or strange, just a thoroughly pleasant weekend, filled with love and laughter. It’s been quite nice.

I went to my imaging appointment Friday. It also seemed quite routine, and entirely lacking in any stress or drama. I’ll probably have results tomorrow, the next day? Something like that. It hasn’t been on my mind since the appointment ended; I’ve been enjoying the here and now. The weekend.

I’ve got a few quite minutes to play with. I decide to write. I sat down thinking perhaps I had a thought worth sharing. I ended up watching videos of squirrels, guinea pigs, kittens, and… belly dancing. I know, weird assortment. I wasn’t looking to kill time, but managed to do so anyway. lol

Here’s a thing to know… I don’t know “everything”. Honestly, I know a fair few things, but I don’t put a lot of emotional investment into feelings of certainty anymore. It’s a waste of time to feel “certain” about most stuff; circumstances change, use cases change, recollections change, understandings change, hell – according to physics, it’s likely even reality itself changes. So… what the fuck do I know?? Damned little, when compared to the set of “all knowledge”, frankly. Why mention it? Because – my results vary. Yours will, too. Taking advice from random weirdos or “experts” on the internet isn’t reliably the best option if one is seeking knowledge. I’m just saying; read the fine print. Ask discerning questions. Listen to the answers to your questions. Practice non-attachment. Trust your gut feelings. Also be skeptical of things you “feel sure of” – those are also suspect. It’s a weird puzzle, this funny journey that is one human life. You can select some other human from all the available humans around and follow them… or… you can walk your own path. No map. Be your own cartographer. Test interesting practices yourself, and make your own decisions. It is an option. It’s potentially even your best option… depending on… a lot of things, including what sort of raw materials you’re working with intelligence-wise, emotional intelligence-wise (which may be more important that just “smarts”, by far), education-wise… and so many other resources and experiences that went into the you that you became over time. Can you trust yourself to be your own best friend, and also wise, compassionate, and willing to think critically? It’s a lot to ask, I know.

It’s easy to follow someone else. If they lead you astray, you don’t even have to take the blame for where you end up, eh? Soooo easy. On the other hand… there is so much freedom, and agency, and creativity, and opportunity, in walking your own path! …You just don’t know where you’re going to arrive, when you reach your destination. How could you? The journey is the destination. But, hey… would you have known, anyway? Maybe not. Not really – just a guess, or accepting someone else’s word for it.

Walking my own path has been (is) scary sometimes. No, I didn’t “get here” alone – there are other travelers walking their own hard mile, on their own journey, who happen to share some portion of my path as I walk. It’s good to have company, now and then. Perspective. The tales of travelers are often quite interesting – if not always 100% true. Walking my own path hasn’t amounted to solitude in any particular sense, it’s just a walk, a path, navigated largely on my own decision-making, but often in the company of others. I don’t ask them to follow me. I’m not following anyone else in any specific way. I often seek advice, sometimes I take it. Sometimes I don’t.

It’s a lovely Sunday to reflect on how far I’ve come in a decade. A worthy journey, indeed, and time to begin again. 😀

In games, life, and yeah, even self-care… my results vary. Practicing various practices isn’t about practicing as much as it is about improving. It’s about results. Lacking skill in one area or another is definitely going to mean I need more practice. lol Sometimes it’s just necessary to keep at it until I “git gud“. My results still vary. The journey is the destination. There’s no map. No “report card”. No one else to prove something to.

…Even with self-care, sometimes I just don’t “have what it takes” – yet. I need more practice (or better or different practices). I am sitting here reflecting on that, and drinking water on a hot summer day, from inside a cool air-conditioned office, looking down from the 7th floor to the sun lit city below me. My recent work trip to Palm Springs lingers in my thoughts. I spent a lot of time with my colleagues. More people (and time) than I typically spend on such things in a many weeks. Hell, I don’t spend a fraction of that amount of time (more than 40 hours by far) with even my dearest friends over the course of the average year. In fact, although we live together and spend the vast majority of our waking hours together, I don’t spend that much time with my own beloved Traveling Partner! Wtf. I am seriously “all peopled out” at this point. I’m craving actual solitude. It is affecting my mood.

…I was so close to getting some of that after we bought the truck, but it was a bit early for solo camping in nearby forest places at that point, and so my partner only managed to leave me to my own devices for a few hours, a couple times…

So I’m sitting here, thinking my thoughts, drinking my water, and wondering if I should be planning a bit of a solo getaway, and feeling like a jerk for it because I know my partner has probably had about enough of being alone, as far as what he may need out of my comings and goings. This is a challenge I rather suck at figuring out. So, I sit and think on it a bit, and then a bit more even than that…

…still thinking it over…

…What do I want out of such an adventure? Ease? Solitude? Trails to hike? Sunsets to photograph? Distance from other people – yeah, that one is for sure on my “must haves” list. lol Should I be planning to “go coastal”? Should I be planning to camp? How much time do I really need? Does that vary based on how much (feeling of) distance I can actually get? July has just one weekend open at this point during which none of my colleagues would be out of the office… convenient… I decide to request the time, and continue to think about what to do with it.

I finish off my water, and prepare to begin again.

Time. What are you doing with yours? Such a finite limited resource in a single mortal lifetime, eh? It can drive a real feeling of desperation trying to “stay caught up”. I think of an old Joe Jackson song… I used to be seriously hung up about time (and timing). It was problematic and stressful. Not helpful at all, and the anxiety did nothing to improve my efficiency. That frenetic driven pace wasn’t particularly useful, and I often felt as if I was chasing seconds at the cost of hours and days. I don’t do that now (not generally). Instead, I let that go and practice living my life, instead. 😀

It’s a strange journey, and the distance between my starting point and my destination is sometimes quite a way to go.

The limitations time places on me, as a mortal creature, comes with a certain poignance, now and then, a feeling that “I’m not doing it right” or that “time is running out”… a sensation of a ticking clock, always in the background, counting down these precious moments… It’s an illusion, as is that sensation of pressure to do more faster. We’re mortal creatures, for sure, and that feels pretty limiting sometimes, but… a life well-lived feels – often – pretty “timeless”. I’ve been enjoying that sensation a lot, lately.

It’s not where I’m seated that matters most, it’s more about what fills my thoughts.

The clock keeps ticking, however I choose to spend my time…

What enriches your life? I’m not talking about cash assets here. I’m asking what fulfills you? What do you want more of in life? How do you choose to spend your precious limited life time?

Sometimes I just need to get away.

I’m learning to make room in my day(s) for the moments that feel the best – love, loving, a good book, a good meal, laughing with friends, sharing my thoughts with my Traveling Partner, walking and thinking… there’s a lot to enjoy in life, and the time is short. Every moment of pointless bullshit or drama robs me of an opportunity to experience some moment of joy; the time is finite. Moments come and go, and once they are in the past, they are what they are were – for always. Just memories. I’m learning to make good ones. (Memories, I mean.)

There are signs of human endeavors almost everywhere.

My recent birthday camping adventure was well-spent on long moments of quiet reflection, and the joy of my Traveling Partner’s good company. I could have “done more”, or gotten more “activities” worked into the experience, probably, but what was filling my soul and nurturing me was simply sitting and enjoying that time that was such a departure from the routine. Calling it “fun” doesn’t really share the experience in a meaningful way. (It was a lot of fun, for sure.) I definitely really needed that time to chill and reflect quietly, and just observe the world in the form of breezes, waves, and blue skies, without all the fuss and bother of humanity’s comings and goings and frantic attempts to control time.

I took pointers on “how to relax” from the local wildlife, they’ve certainly mastered their method. 😀

I came home with a renewed sense of presence in my experience, and some new perspective. I came home feeling uplifted, and deeply in love with my Traveling Partner. I came home feeling comfortable in my skin and sure of myself. All good stuff. The best part? I came home. It felt good to be at home, to have a home to come home to in the first place, and to be there with my Traveling Partner was a hell of a bonus. Life well-lived? Working on it – and getting great results.

Sometimes the best thing I can do for the woman in the mirror is to pause, and reflect.

I reflect for a moment on the practices that work, the practices that have been less effective (for me), and sip my coffee contentedly.

…And already it’s time to begin again. 😀

We returned home from our camping trip yesterday afternoon. It was a relaxed trip, and a really beautiful drive, and we still felt the joyful vibe of our getaway as we got closer to home, in spite of the unexpectedly abrupt “return to reality” that resulted from city traffic on a Sunday, distracted drivers, and pointless rudeness from strangers utterly pre-occupied with themselves as they hurtled down the highway in their vehicles. I think we both could have done without any of that, but… it would have taken so much more to wreck our wonderful getaway.

The titular “small joys” were just literally everywhere as we spent the days of my “birthday vacation” together. Funny, we spend most days together, and very little time apart (since the start of the pandemic, and ongoing), but these were definitely special. So special. I feel loved. I feel supported. I hope my Traveling Partner does, too. We worked together as a team on our camping adventures, and that experience grew and deepened each day, and each time we packed up our gear, or set up or tore down our camp. Room to grow? For sure. Still – it was amazing time well-spent in the company of the human being most dear to me. Hard to beat that.

One small joy; the serendipitous utterly unplanned and unintentional image of a heart on my toast in the morning. 😀

It’s been fun. Remarkable. Memorable. Filled with love and laughter. We walked together. Laughed together. Cooked together. We spent our time together. Not just “in the same room” together – we really shared the time and the experience in a wholesome engaged way. I even felt we were “hearing each other” more easily, listening more deeply with greater ease, and sharing more openness. It was luscious and loving and just frankly wonderful. It was the two of us. I returned home feeling more secure about “us”, and more whole and comfortable in my own skin. Wonderful.

…I managed to avoid being eaten alive by bugs, and until the very last day, didn’t seem to have even one insect bite. At all. Now? Well… I’ve got some kind of irritation on the back of one hand that itches like fire (looks like a tiny spider bite, perhaps). I try not to scratch it, mostly unsuccessfully. I find great delight in refrigerated Benadryl cream. lol

Now? Well, today is my actual 60th birthday. As is so common, I just don’t feel any differently in any noteworthy way than I did yesterday. Well… except one thing; I feel re-engaged and energized to deal with my health and fitness. It’s not too late. (When is it ever, truly, so long as I can still breathe?) I guess that’s a thing, and I hope to get some value out of that feeling.

I’m enjoying my birthday. Breakfast out after days of wilderness adventure. Cake and ice cream. Cartoons and music. The company (and romantic affection) of my Traveling Partner. What a lovely birthday. It’s not over yet, either… I think I’ll begin again. 😀

Well damn. I guess I’m a real grown-up… 6 days to my 60th birthday. Wild. In spite of some hard living, some hardships, some trauma, some misadventure… I am standing in this place, considering this milestone birthday ahead of me. Wow. I mean, I legitimately did not expect that making it this far was ever a given. Wasn’t at all sure I would… but here I am. 😀

My Traveling Partner and I have plans to camp for a few days. Really getting away, out into the trees, away from the traffic, the stress, the work, the world… the people. I know that I, personally, really need a break from “everything”. Just for a minute. A few quiet hours. Some distance. A different view. A new perspective. A moment of my life that isn’t in any way whatsoever about working, earning a living, maintaining a household… just fresh air, soft breezes, sunshine, and birdsong. Maybe the occasional passing shower. 🙂 I already know my results will vary, and that the plan is not the experience, and neither is the map the world. So. There’s that.

…No idea what the days ahead will really be like, I just know I’m looking forward to logging out of my work tools, and locking the door of the house behind us as we leave for a few days. 😀 (Will I write? Maybe, but I won’t have a cell signal, and my words will be ink on paper, for later – I’m also going equipped to paint in watercolor, and I’m taking my camera of course. My Traveling Partner is taking along a couple of good books, and his fishing tackle.)

Slow days ahead. I’m eager to embrace that, without giving a thought to what may be “on the other side” – we’ll see when we get there, eh?

In the meantime, there are flowers in the garden, and sunny days in the forecast. The weather is lovely and mild, summery and warm without being unpleasantly scorching hot, generally. Life (and love) feel good. I’m not rushing through that feeling, either; I’m making a point to slow down and savor it, as much as I can, as often as I notice how very pleasant things seem to be, presently. Quiet reflection is a worthwhile use of my time, particularly when my thoughts feel infused with soft joy and contentment. I smile thinking of my Traveling Partner; he’s also eager to get out on the road. The truck is already packed of all but a handful of last minute items (my camera bag, food…).

I catch myself in a fit of sneezing – seasonal allergies. Fucking hell, where are those tissues…?? It reminds me to check the tracking on my inbound prescription refills… will they be here in time…? Looks like they will, and I find myself feeling relieved about that. One less thing that could cause background stress while I’m earnestly working to rest my busy mind. 😀

Well, damn… looks like time to begin again. 😀 If I don’t talk to you before I leave… I’ll drop a note right here when I get back. 😀