Archives for posts with tag: easy

Weird day. I woke up feeling rested and merry. Seemed like a good start to the day, and mostly I suppose the day has been fine. Okay, not fantastic, but I’ve no expectation that each day will be 100% pure awesome from the moment I wake, until the moment I later close my eyes to sleep. My results – and my experiences – vary. My Traveling Partner woke from a restless unrestful night of sleep and made it clear he was not enjoying the morning. I did what I could to be chill and supportive. My efforts were not immediately (or reliably) successful, so I got my shit together, grabbed my list of errands, and headed out before I’d even taken more than a sip of my coffee. Seemed the like sort of morning to enjoy my own company for awhile, and let him have time to wake up and get sorted out.

I’m in a massive amount of pain this morning, and although it has done nothing to dull my good mood, I’m having to manage it. It’s there in the background and amounts to a bit of a distraction, and a thing that slows me down (without stopping me). I’ve taken the medication I can, and I’ve stayed on top of all the other self-care details pretty well, too. I still hurt. It is what it is. I don’t expect this to change; it comes and goes (in severity) with the weather, and with stress. I can’t do much about the weather, but I sure can do things to manage my stress. So, I do those things. lol

Today has been mostly about staying ahead of my pain, staying out of my partner’s way, and getting a few things done. Laundry, some kitchen re-organization (seems a good day to tidy up cabinets and cupboards and toss out stale spices), and the sort of routine housekeeping I commonly do on a quiet Sunday. My partner is mostly out in his shop, making things. I smile when I think about it.

“Easy” isn’t always about “perfect” – sometimes it’s just about not making shit harder than it has to be, and not taking the things that go wrong personally. I mean, seriously? How often are they ever “personal”?? Circumstances are just circumstances. Moods come and go like weather. I can’t “fix” someone else, or live their experience, but I can sure avoid making it all about me. I can sure focus on self-care, and kindness, and just doing my best to treat everyone around me well. If I’ve legitimately done my best, that’s pretty much what I’ve got to offer, right? 🙂

I keep practicing.

It’s time to begin again.

Sometimes building a life feels a little bit like a fancy arrangement of dominoes or jenga; at some point my choices may reveal themselves to have been poor choices, much later, in some unexpected way, sending the pieces to follow crashing down, one after the other. Choices matter. Each day that I do my best, practice the practices that support my physical and emotional wellness, comfortably handle the details of adult life that require my attention, I build a better future for myself – one resting on a firm foundation. I’m still human. Sometimes I can see a ‘misplaced domino’, and the action needed to adjust or correct for circumstances is obvious – it’s just more verbs. (I wish that implied some assurance of ease, but it does not.) Yes, there are pretty nearly always verbs involved – and the choice to use them. To be. To do. Neither are passive processes.

I need to put the AC in a window. The summer heat nailed me to the floor two days in a row with the afternoon heat. Both days I knew it would be that hot. Both days I made choices to hang out with my traveling partner, and planned around the heat of the day to make traveling easiest – and postponing installing the AC for the year. Priorities in the moment were definitely about love, rather than physical comfort. lol 🙂 Still a mammal. Still a primate. Still a human being in love. The AC can wait… it doesn’t give me hugs, kisses, tenderness – or laugh at my terrible jokes. 😀 Still…comfort would be nice, too.

It’ll be another hot day today, not quite as hot, but hot – and the AC would be helpful. Today is a good day for some different, practical verbs. Love will likely appreciate being comfortable here at my place, too. 🙂

It’s a lovely quiet morning in my corner of the world. I do mean ‘my corner’, too. I have no idea what is going on elsewhere at present, even within the confines of the house I live in. I am in this space, right here, right now, and no other. “Here” is okay. “Now” is actually quite pleasant, too. A couple of years ago, being here, now, quietly in this space unconcerned about what is outside this space, or this moment, for at least a little while might have been quite difficult. It would be inaccurate to say “I haven’t got a care in the world”…but I also no longer carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Life and love are much easier when I am living my own life, in my own space, and just that. It feels, for the moment, ‘easy’.

The November elections are nearing. I don’t spend much time on political matters here (or in general, from my own perspective, although it’s likely that people who end up inescapably cornered, having to listen to me discuss my perspective on this or that issue may disagree. lol)  There are legions of writers who write about the politics of the world, people whose command of language makes them real leaders, and properly audible voices in the din; I have no need to compete with them in that arena. Still, elections are coming, and I do vote. I vote what matters most to me. I am annoyed by the game playing and underhanded machinations of the process, though. I want so much to be able to believe everyone running for office truly believes they have something to offer the people as a legislator, and the will and intent to improve the state of things for every day folks; I know it isn’t true, I can read, and I see the later decision-making and the outcomes of those who have been elected before. It’s quite disappointing how little gets done, or done well, and how little thought for real consequences seems to go into law making, generally. Funny primates, being fancy and trying to force everyone in the tribe to follow their ways. lol Fairly pointless, really, since ultimately we each make our own decisions, regardless, and can’t be forced with any ease to make the choices someone else wishes to see made. We are each having our own experience. We each act upon our own will.

I’m not especially easily led, although that probably isn’t obvious under some circumstances. I don’t alert people when I am simply choosing to relax and ‘go with it’ – and whether I do is largely dependent on some quiet internal cost/benefit risk/reward analysis that I am sure we all do to some degree, on some level. Sometimes I find it quite transparent and obvious to me, as I consider whether it is easier to go to X location for dinner because everyone else wants to – on a night when I genuinely don’t have a preference. I’m sure it gives the appearance that I am easily led, or influenced. (I’m actually fairly alert to being manipulated; it only takes on relationship wherein one is being systematically manipulated, controlled, or subject to gas-lighting to be  a tad oversensitive to it coming up again.) lol I don’t see any reason to bring it up all the time, or to explain when I ‘go with the flow’ that I am doing it for X reason. Sometimes, sufficiency, contentment, and satisfaction with the state of things is reason enough to smile at the Universe and say “sure! let’s do that” at some point when I didn’t have something different/better in mind. I’m fairly willful, and definitely down with making a choice, taking action, or leading… I also like to reserve that effort for things that matter to me. I’m not particularly competitive; the stress and implied confrontation of competition doesn’t suit my easy nature. Frankly, aside from whatever biological needs that must be met for survival, which could potentially require some level of competition, I’m not interested – I like cooperation far more. I prefer life’s games to be ones where everyone wins. lol

There’s no particular reason I am considering these things this morning. It’s a Thursday, and a rather nice one. I am content and calm, and enjoying the morning. It seems a nice morning to appreciate qualities about me that I favor, myself.  How about you? How long has it been since you paused for a moment and gave thought to some characteristic about who you are that you really value? You certainly deserve that moment. We all do; there’s already a lot of people out there waiting to say something critical, negative, mean, or insensitive – I hope you take a moment to honor the qualities you value in yourself right now, and the work you have put in to get to this place, however far you may think you still have to go.

A favorite metaphor; a tree, and a path in the distance.

A favorite metaphor; a tree, and a path in the distance.