Archives for posts with tag: getting it done

I woke early this morning, ahead of the alarm clock. I showered. Made coffee. Greeted my Traveling Partner over the miracle convenience of the Internet. I am feeling pre-occupied with… things that matter. To me. I found myself revisiting yesterday’s blog post, somewhat pensively, and with a hint of lingering discontent.

(This is often an outcome, if one or another of my closest friends comments favorably on a new blog post; I interpret it to mean that I have made note of something I could benefit from considering further, myself.)

What does matter most? To me, I mean, right now, in this changing, evolving, experience of life and partnership? What small change(s) can I make to live more pleasantly, more comfortably, more efficiently, and with greater joy? What change(s) might make my experience of cohabitation easier on my current (or future) partner(s)? I’m not in any way a perfect person, or wholly completed project – not even at all.

The wheel keeps turning. This is a journey, not a “staying still”. lol I still have room to grow and to become! So… what matters most? To me. Right now. About this experience of life that I have, myself. What would I like to see differently each morning when I wake, and each evening as I retire for the night? What would be a more pleasant arrangement of things or experiences? Are there better ways to use my time, moment to moment to get there?

I ask it of myself, again; what matters most, right now?

I sip my coffee and give some thought to the details. I find myself having to own some things I’m less than satisfied with (living alone, there is literally no one else who could possibly be accountable for any of this! lol). My studio is pretty chronically messy… it’s as if the entire messy potential of being a human primate is carefully contained in this one space, here in my home, and it is… chaotic. Even unpleasantly so, depending on my state of mind. Does it really need to be let go like this? Can I make more order, find more balance, and still hold onto what make me, creatively, me? And what of the floors? I admit it, vacuuming isn’t my favorite chore, and this place has state-of-the-art dirt-hiding carpet most everywhere. Thinking about what I just said in that sentence, I’m pretty annoyed with myself. Yeah, okay, room for improvement right there, for sure. I can definitely do better. Fuck. Well. I find myself admitting that I’m disappointed that this thought exercise was so easy. LOL So human. Dusting? Needs doing. Aquarium? Needs cleaning. Huh. Yep. Room for improvement.

With the holiday weekend quickly approaching, there’s little time left for frantic deep cleaning… but that’s also an excuse. Handy the way those work. (And there’s no reason it would need to be frantic, anyway, that’s just pre-excuse emotional bullshit.) LOL I make a commitment to two specific chores for after work, based on my fairly firm, if very human, commitment to living beautifully. Both are pretty fundamental, and I feel irked to have let them go so long. I have the tools, I have the time, and finding the will to act is (often) the hardest part. Tedium is a tough challenge. lol It can be done! I give myself a moment of mental shade; I’ve been putting these off forever, without any particularly legitimate reason. No excuses. Tonight they get done. πŸ™‚ I’ll start with the vacuuming. I suspect it has been “holding me back” from a number of other small things, and I now find myself eager to be at day’s end to tackle it. (I am definitely too considerate of my neighbors to be running a vacuum cleaner at 4:00 am!)

Another chance to live beautifully,and an opportunity to create the change I wish to see; it’s time to begin again. πŸ˜€

Sitting down to write in the morning, mostly exercise in making use of time while sipping coffee, I suppose. I am up both earlier than I’d ideally like, and later than usual. Late night. Concert. Good stuff.

Choices.

Today I’m on the road to see my Traveling Partner. Of the two of us, presently, I travel most. lol Mostly traveling to see my Traveling Partner, who is mostly, at present, at home. lol I’m glad to have the and the means to cover the gas money, and the car in sufficiently good condition to do so. πŸ™‚

Last night I enjoyed a momentary return to utter chaos. I didn’t really “mean to” – that’s not how these things happen. It’s those choices. I discovered that the subwoofers I want to take down to my partner don’t fit in my car. Ouch. (I chose to have them shipped to my place instead of his, based on an early plan that he would come to my place for Giftmas.) Well damn it. So… friends? None interested in making the trip. Well, shit. Okay so… a rental? Oh! LOL Look at the price on that! Yikes. So… well, they fucking got here, didn’t they? I take time to look up the price to ship them down… Damn it. That would have been the way to go and I could have met all the available needs to have done so straight away instead of dilly-dallying with the romantic notion that I could haul them down in a mid-size sedan. LOL

Choices.

So… I schedule the shipping. The package pick up window provided to me begins promisingly early in the day. I’ve got the shipping label ready to… wait… I need to print that? Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck… no printer. Damn it. Seriously?? I’ve got evening plans (concert) – made before I accepted the invitation to go down for New Year’s, and made my own plan to depart forΒ today – without actually thinking that through; I got home after midnight last night (and didn’t actually get to see the one performer I went to see due to changes in set times). Now I’m up again before 6 am, nursing myself back to humanity with a river of coffee (well, at least so far, really only a small creek of coffee) – and planning to drive hundreds of miles, and more than 4 hours, and on the other side? A busy celebratory holiday weekend. Omg – what have I done??? lol

Choices. I’ve made choices. πŸ™‚

My planning is once again in tatters, but the outcomes should be more or less mostly what I’m going for – and that’s going to have to be enough, so may as well let it be enough going into it, to start things off. I’m not even mildly grumpy, at least so far. I got some sleep. I contacted Customer Service for the shipper and ensured I could squeeze in a quick trip down the street to get that label printed – I had tried to do so on my way to the concert last night, turned out that all the sorts of places that typically offer print-from-email services are closed well before 9 pm. Now, I’m confident that I can get it done before the scheduled pickup… but I’m also up 2 hours earlier than I now need to be, living on caffeine and excitement. lol Adulting is hard.

So…I’m okay right now. Merry, even. Ready to celebrate a new year – and most especially ready to let this one go. Then… with the new year behind me, life can return to its slower non-holiday-season pace for a few months, before all of it gets planned again, and the excitement builds toward the bizarre collision of spontaneity intersecting with careful planning in the last 10 days of the year. It’s a thing I know about. lol I even planned for the chaos – and thus the underlying merriment.

Lots and lots of choices. Plenty of tasty fail sauce just… everywhere, and so much more going on that I haven’t even figured out how to consider or how to discuss. lol Are you ready to begin again? I know I am…