Archives for posts with tag: mindfulness for beginners

I woke during the night, several times. I managed to get enough rest, I think, in spite of that. It took a bit longer than usual to fully wake up. Still… it’s a new day, and I’m awake now, and working through the interlude between the first and second coffees of my morning. Pretty routine stuff.

How about that election, eh? Nothing more really needs to be said about that, I think, at least not by me.

At one point, while I was up during the wee hours, I stood in the darkness at the door to the deck, standing in the chill of an autumn night, door open to the smell of forest and creek, listening to peeping frogs and insects, and a nearby owl. I gazed up at the stars for rather a while, before I returned to bed, and to sleep. It was quite a lovely moment, well-spent. It required nothing of me beyond my presence, and it was “enough”. I felt somehow nourished by the autumn-scented stillness, standing there in the dark.

Another time, I woke, and contentedly wandered the house. No purpose to my quiet footsteps, aside from enjoying being wrapped in this pleasant little dwelling, feeling safe and loved, there in the darkness.

Another time, I just woke up to pee was all, and having done so returned to sleep quite easily.

I didn’t give myself any grief over my wakefulness. There wasn’t any stress associated with it. I simply woke, now and then, for some minutes, and returned to sleep afterward. No harm. No injury. No particular inconvenience. I may not have mentioned it at all, if I hadn’t happened to take a look at my blog to answer a question about a date in the past, out of curiosity, and noticed I have not written in some days. lol Sleep (or lack thereof) seems the sort of thing I’d write about, as much as anything. So, I did. 😀

I look at the time. I notice, again, that my coffee is gone. Time to begin again, I think, and why not start with another cup of coffee?

I am sitting with my thoughts, taking a moment for myself out of a busy day. I’m contemplating life, love, art – you know, the important things. 🙂 I smile when I recall the new book I’ve only just started reading, which promises to satisfy other creative impulses than those fulfilled by paint and canvas.

It brings back long-forgotten memories, too.

I contemplate a tiny art project I am undertaking.

The studio is not yet ready for larger work… I think I can make room for something very small.

I take time for brilliantly blue autumn skies.

…And passing clouds.

I let moments overtake me. Breathing. Relaxing. Letting my mind wander a bit. Soon enough, it is time to begin again. 🙂

Rain is falling today. It feels soft on my skin. I stand in it to feel that sensation. The air tastes fresh. I breathe deeply. I inhale. I exhale. I feel the rain drops spatter my skin. I am present. I hear birdsong. I feel a slow soft breeze. The breeze carries a scent of forest and flowers, and autumn. I hold this moment with such care and attention, yielding to it completely, saving it for later.

Here. Now.

Rain fell today. It felt soft on my skin. I stood in it to feel that sensation. The air tasted fresh. I breathed deeply. Inhaling, exhaling, feeling the rain drops spatter my skin. Minutes ticked by. I heard birdsong. I felt a slow soft breeze. The breeze carried a scent of forest and flowers, and autumn.

I take a moment to contemplate one lovely moment at leisure, smiling quietly. Sometimes this is enough. 🙂

 

The work day winds down. I switch over my workstation from my work laptop to my desktop pc. An afternoon sunbeam streams into the room, filling the space with light. It’s so lovely to see blue sky again, after the dark and smoky days of recent wildfires. I breathe, exhale, relax, and let go of the small shit nagging at my consciousness. I hear my Traveling Partner and his visiting son in playful conversation, but I can’t hear what they are saying. The tone is light and joyful and satisfied. Small things in life can fill me with such immense satisfaction and delight.

… Then there’s the chaos… I mean, seriously? I’ve still got this hollowed out closet lacking in drywall or flooring that needs repaired – including the hole straight through the wall to the room on the other side. The recent failure – and replacement – of my aquarium is so recent that it still sits in my “not quite still now” buffer, needing to be processed, but omg there is so much else to do, “right now”… Yeah, so… some of the chaos? I’m clearly doing that to myself.

Another breath. Another exhalation. Another moment to relax and let that shit go. Another moment to enjoy this bit of sunshine pouring into my window. My mind wanders pleasantly… didn’t I have some errand to run this afternoon? I shrug that off, too. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.

I take this minute, here, now, for me – between the end of the workday, and the return to family life. Me, in my studio, with the sunshine filling the space around me. It’s enough.

No, seriously, today I’ve got this headache… It’s probably a result of the poor air quality right now. I’ve had plenty of water, and my usual amount of coffee. I slept well. My posture and balance seem pretty ordinary. I’ve gotten some exercise this morning. I feel fairly confident that I’ve ticked all the appropriate everyday self-care boxes. I still have this headache, and the change I can’t control, which is the “weather”, seems the likely culprit as a result. It’s “fire season”… I guess that’s a thing now. Winter, spring, summer, fire, fall, and back to winter. :-\

…Another sip of water. Another work task. I nibble away at my writing between things. It’s not my best. I’m struggling with this headache, and the effort has to be enough.

I breathe, exhale, relax… and exist with this headache. It will pass, I remind myself. That’s enough for now.