Archives for posts with tag: mindfulness matters

This morning I woke groggy, very groggy, to the sound of a train, or perhaps two passing each other, blasting the horn(s) for what seemed a rather long time. It went on and on, from some distance before the stretch of track nearest where I live, and for some distance farther along. I’m not sure what required such aggressive use of the horn in the wee hours (3:22 am). I was not able to go back to sleep.

Up early… and nothing to say. My brain still isn’t fully awake, more than an hour later. The day after daylight savings time begins or ends – and a day or two more – are hard. The timing on my medications is all wrong, and my sleep/wake cycle is now not even close to when my clock says it should be. Twice a year the pointless disruption aggravates me. I’m not bitching, just making the observation.

I sip my coffee. Think my thoughts. This morning seems a good one to meditate, and to chill. Tomorrow… yeah. It seems fairly foolish to also put the end of daylight savings time so close to an emotionally volatile (for so many people) election. We often put ourselves (and each other) at a disadvantage when it comes to our emotional experience by behaving as though emotions can be simply disregarded in our planning and our actions. Our choices might be different as individuals (and as a culture) if we placed value on emotional intelligence, and sought balance between emotion and reason as a necessary thing. Still not bitching – it’s an observation.

A basic morning.

A basic morning.

Today is a good morning to sip my coffee and be kind to myself; it may be hours before I feel awake. Today is a good morning to be aware of the stress the upcoming election is causing so many people, and to let go of that stress, myself. Today is good one to walk my own path, find my own way, and make the choices that best support my needs over time. Today is a good day, too, for a second cup of coffee. 😀

Daylight Savings Time is pointless and it sucks. Moving right along…

Yesterday's dawn

Yesterday’s dawn broke through the gray sky before rain took over the day.

I started this morning early, restlessly trying to sleep later, having forgotten about daylight savings time, and not really understanding the lie my clock was telling me; I’d already reset it, and struggled to understand why I was so awake, seemingly “so early”. I got up and stumbled around groggily for a few minutes. Tried to go back to sleep, figuring… Sunday, groggy, that could mean more sleep… Nope. I got back up minutes later, once it was clear my monkey mind was up for the day. lol Coffee and music began my solitary morning. No heartache there, I’m just aware I am alone, after two lovely mornings shared with my traveling partner.

Autumn is a good season for choosing joy.

Autumn is a good season for choosing joy.

I scrolled through my Facebook feed rather mindlessly, skipping over the provocative bullshit propaganda memes and political posts; it is too early for any of that. I smile at family photos as I scroll past them, too. It is too early for anything but smiles and sipping coffee. I’m looking for things to enjoy, simply that.

Neither savage downpours, nor depressing drizzles can stop us embracing joy.

Neither savage downpours, nor depressing drizzle can stop us embracing joy.

My traveling partner is enjoying his creative side this year, and I am quickly distracted by the recollection of shared joy, and hours recently spent listening to music together. I move on from Facebook to the vast available information of the internet, looking for favorite booming bass lines to share with him. I feel content, and wrapped in joy.

Inspiration and joy

Embracing inspiration, connecting, sharing – and finding joy.

Joy. It’s a lovely feeling to pause for, to really appreciate – it can be fleeting. That’s okay, too; change is. Those fleeting moments can be savored, and the time I take to really appreciate the experience of joy (whether during, or after the fact) not only holds the potential to improve my implicit emotional biases, generally, but also to improve my capacity to feel joy in the first place. quite specifically. Nice. It’s a powerful practice to take time to savor moments of joy – and it feels super good. 😀

What moments of joy will I find along the way today?

What moments of joy will I find along the way today?

The night sky begins to lighten, hinting at a gray dawn to come. There’s an entire day potentially filled with joy ahead of me. Sounds lovely, even if the joy I am filling my day with is the recollection of past joy; joy is one of life’s great delights. It can be so easy to overlook joy, simple joy, great joy, subtle joy, easy joy, hard-won joy, fragile fleeing joy on a difficult day, childlike unexpected joy, joy as a moment or as a state of being; even joy has variety. Loneliness and heartbreak (or even ennui, boredom, or irritation) don’t withstand being immersed in joy. I make my choice joy, when I think to. 🙂

Search all the books that matter most to you, there are still verbs involved. :-)

Search all the books that matter most to you, there are still verbs involved. 🙂

Today, I choose joy. It’s a lovely day for it, however gray the sky overhead. 🙂 My results may vary, but I can also choose to begin again, any time. 🙂

I woke with a smile an hour ahead of my alarm. It’s a calm quiet morning. It’s more than enough, in all the best ways. I sip my coffee, smiling still, very much aware of my good fortune in this lovely moment.

I saw my therapist yesterday. It’s been a long while, and the visit had its own flow, its own unique vibe, familiar, intimate, comfortably supportive, safe enough to reach into the darkest pit of anxiety, fear, or damage, and come through the experience still whole and with my sense of self intact. I arrived home to enjoy the evening with my traveling partner. It was a lovely fun evening, and we shared some of that with friends.

Only one thing marred an exquisitely lovely evening of fun among friends; drama. OPD (Other People’s Drama). Close friends, in a quiet moment, began an obviously stressful conversation about personal finances. I did my best to give them some privacy and overlooked it as things started to escalate emotionally. My place is a “drama free zone” by choice and by design; once things began to escalate, I attempted to communicate a boundary, first by gently working to change the conversation. I was not effective. They continued to have their moment. Although we had planned to have dinner together, one partner stormed off all door-slamming-ly to deal with things elsewhere, leaving the other rather morosely working to deal with it from the vantage point of my dining room table, staring into a personal device, exchanging messages at length. Who hasn’t been there?

It's hard to unsay the words.

It’s hard to unsay the words.

In spite of my sympathy, and my compassion, my own self-care is a higher priority than OPD, and the house rules include such things as “don’t slam the door, or the cupboards, or – yeah, actually don’t slam shit”, and “don’t yell”. These are non-negotiable. Says who? Um… me. My house, my rules, my way. The eventual return of the partner who stormed off was accompanied by an air of “who me? nothing happened with me, why?”, and followed by an abrupt departure by the pair, headed for other things – and no apology for the drama. My final attempt to communicate a reminder to the door-slamming friend that my home is a drama free zone was met with a weirdly childish defensiveness, as though it were more important to assign blame than to be accountable for ones actions and show some consideration for my space, and my boundaries. It was uncomfortable. That discomfort lingers. I’m not yet certain how I’ll deal with the whole mess once I have a chance to process it.

I set that aside and return to the morning, here, now, this lovely quiet morning. Last night was unexpected and delightful – what does tonight hold? There’s nothing on my calendar for the weekend, and a quiet weekend at home sounds really good. I laugh about that, reminded that last night’s great joy was built on a foundation of music, laughter, and boisterous good times. It was not quiet here last night. I think about my traveling partner, and smile. I am well-loved indeed. Finding that comfortable balance between planned and spontaneous, boisterous and chill, rules and anarchy, boundaries and the things that lay beyond them is all part of the journey, I suppose.

Love matters most.

Love matters most.

What a lovely morning to begin again.

Halloween is over. I did what I do most years. I made sure I had candy on hand to give to roaming bands of tiny costumed raiders, should any appear, and made jokes in the office about coming to work as a “sexy [whatever-my-current-job-is]”, without making any changes in appearance. I giggle about it every year, and every year it is enough for me. I delight in the more involved efforts of others, children and adults both, and that is also enough.

Last night’s treat was the little girl a couple units down, who was the first trick or treater to my door. I’m not stingy about these sorts of things; there is fun in the excesses and wide-eyed moments. I dug deep into the heavy “black cauldron” of sweets at the door (it was actually my black enameled cast-iron dutch oven, adequately cauldron-y for the occasion) and pulled a crazy fistful of all manner of candies from the darkness. Her eyes went wide with surprise, and her little jack-o-lantern was well-filled with the additional goodies. She gave her mom a huge grin, and did the
“excitement dance” of wordless joy, and they headed off into the night. I think she was dressed as a princess… or maybe a butterfly… it was a chilly night, and she was wrapped also in a warm coat. I remember her delighted smile more than any detail of what she wore.

Last night’s trick was simply how tired I was. I crashed early, just as soon as the sound of children’s laughter was no longer reaching my door, after a shower, some yoga, some meditation – it was fairly early. I woke to the alarm clock.

The long commute is not an ideal fit for my long-term needs, and continues to reinforce my commitment to get into a little place truly all my own, either well-suited to my retirement needs, or more temporarily much closer to work. January isn’t that far away, and it is the last month on this lease. I’ve put time into planning next steps, and getting all the paperwork likely to be requested sorted out and gathered up. It’s a time for getting small details worked out, small problems solved, small challenges overcome, and of course, as they develop I add them to my list of things to get done, and each week I do some of them. It’s all very orderly – I like order.

My life in general improve greatly once I understood how very much I do like order, and how critically important it was for me, personally, to balance my desire for order with my inner chaos. I spent far too long chasing “good” characteristics that had value for someone else, but weren’t all that important to me in any direct or personal way. Gnothi seauton, people. Seriously. Do you, no one else will do that as well. Sounds easy, I know, and on the face of it that makes sense; I have all the knowledge necessary to know myself, do I not? Who else would have more? Yeah, I know. It’s rarely so simple, once we’re finished with painting ourselves into metaphysical corners, and wrapping ourselves in the concertina wire of the expectations of others, our feelings of obligation, and our assumptions about the world around us – what do we really know? I smile and sip my coffee. I know myself. I am irrefutably the expert on the woman in the mirror, and fairly comfortable with her, at this point, too. It makes for a firm starting point for most any journey. I’m glad I finally got here. 🙂

Take off your mask – Halloween is over. It’s time to face the person in the mirror, and know yourself. Today is a good day for self-knowledge, and self-awareness. Today is a good day to start that journey; there is more to know. Today is a good day to be mindful that we are each having our own experience, each wearing our own mask, and each walking our own mile. Today is a good day to take off our masks and face the world.

This morning I woke gently, a few minutes ahead of the alarm. I’m still pretty groggy, no obvious reason why. I hurt more than I expect to when I get up. My mood is good in spite of that, and I enjoy the flow of my morning routine, and a few minutes of conversation with my traveling partner, online.

A moment

A moment on a rainy autumn day

Nothing fancy about the morning, or the day (why would there be?). I start slowly, and build on what feels best, and supports my needs over time. It’s a comfortable place to begin again. 🙂

Today is a good day to start slowly, to begin again, and to enjoy the moment. I think I’ll do that. 🙂