Archives for posts with tag: savor the moment

Funny thing about change… it changes things. Sometimes a lot of things. Just breathe through it; it’s only change.

I’m sitting here listening to the end of the work week. It sounds like this. Friday.

There is sunshine casting bold shadows over the deck. The afternoon is not quite warm, but it isn’t cold at all. I’m listening to music I love, sitting cross-legged, relaxed and smiling and feeling loved. My Traveling Partner had a lot to do with this lovely sunshine-y moment; he bought us a new amplifier for the stereo, and spent much of the past two days getting the sound just right. I feel a bit as if I am falling in love with a lot of great music, all over again.

I’m listening to music. Smiling. Relaxed. Feeling loved. Feeling fortunate.

…It’s a lot to take in, actually… it used to be pretty reliable that feeling this good would rock me off my center, and be followed by some colossally inappropriate, ludicrous temper tantrum or PTSD meltdown, at some especially inconvenient moment. As if everything good that I might experience needed some sort of emotional reckoning, or reminder that I was not worthy of good experiences. I’d end up filled with so much despair, and a sense of lasting futility. Mired in that mess, I’d exert real energy to make it all just that much worse, if such could be done – or so it often, inexplicably, seemed to be.

Today? Today I’m just relaxing on a Friday, listening to music, and feeling fortunate. I’m grateful to have come so far, but humbled enough by hard times to know that “this too shall pass” also applies to the best moments. Enjoy it. Savor it. Don’t take it personally. Don’t develop an expectation that the sun will always shine in this lovely spring moment. Be here, now. Breath. Exhale. Relax. And still, even now, also practice non-attachment. Enjoy. Breathe. Accept. Exhale. I’m still smiling. It’s enough.

Soon enough the album will end. The track will change. The sun will set. There will inevitably be a time to begin again. ๐Ÿ™‚

The cycle of holidays and seasons continues. I woke hoping to catch a glimpse of the Morning Star this morning (or, perhaps, this evening)… but no, it’s the Pacific Northwest, and the morning is cloudy, wet, and gray. No stars this morning. ๐Ÿ™‚

Winter Solstice at home, 2020, the year of pandemic.

Yesterday’s flood waters have already receded. The morning is balmy and feels strangely mild after a day of chill winds and pounding rain. It’s the Winter Solstice (and, I hope, a merry one for you). I am smiling and eager, sipping my second coffee. I’ve planned a day’s painting, a way of celebrating, of meditating, of committing this day to memory. It’s special; I’m here, at home. ๐Ÿ™‚

My Traveling Partner gave me some amazing gifts for Yule, and I opened them yesterday evening at his request; new paint, new brushes – and my lasting joy in this partnership reinforced, yet again, by his consideration. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m feeling very loved. I’m eager to get to work on new canvases, in this new studio.

I think a point I am making is that dates on calendars come and go. What lingers is the joy we take from the precious moments we share – when we allow those to be the details central to our thinking, and our recollections. (I mean… there are other choices.) What we commit to memory, and those details we regularly revisit, become the defining details of who we find ourselves to be, and how we see life, generally. Joy is not exclusive to any particular holiday – or any particular moment. I try to find my joy everywhere I can.

…This morning I am spectacularly joyful, on the order of an excited child…

I smile and sip my coffee. The euphoria of this one moment will fade. Perhaps even the rich cherished memory of it will also fade, with time. Hell, with the passage of time I may forget which particular gifting holiday resulted in my having these exquisite brushes. I have this moment, here, now, though, and I have this joy to cherish. It’s enough. ๐Ÿ™‚

The morning sunshine breaks through the clouds. Perhaps a sunny day ahead? This studio has very good light on sunny days… I think it’s already time to begin again. ๐Ÿ™‚

Merry Solstice, Humans. Here’s hoping we each find such joy as will sustain us through our darkest times, and my best and fondest wishes that we don’t need to use it that way, at all. ๐Ÿ™‚

This morning was definitely an autumn morning. The deck rail was frosty. The air was crisp and cold. Afternoon is approaching. The day is still cool enough to be quite obviously autumn. The sunshine has a friendly welcoming appearance, but lacks real warmth. (I’m not even complaining, just noticing.)

One sunny morning.

I take a slow relaxed approach to my break. I spend some time thinking about far away friends, old friends, distant family, and letters I mean to write. I promise myself I’ll take time for that… I am doubtful of my commitment to it, although I love writing letters. Strange.

I take a deep, relaxing breath of autumn. I taste the fall leaves and hint of forest and creek on the breeze. I marvel at the blue sky overhead. For a moment, this is more than merely “enough” – it is “everything”. ๐Ÿ™‚

I take time to soak in the moment. Then, I begin again.

It’s another lovely autumn day. A work day. I’m okay with that; the day is pleasant.

The view from the deck.

The physical pain that has been my companion for days (weeks? months?) is “not bothering me” for some values of “bother”; it’s nothing more, for now, than an uncomfortable nuisance. I ignore it as much as I can. Manage it otherwise, when I must, and try not to be a dick to people when it goes beyond what I can pretend is not there. Not much else to do for it. Certainly, bitching about it doesn’t help me feel any better. I let it go as often as I can.

…Like now…

I am sipping an afternoon cup of tea. I’m frankly enjoying it more now that it has gone cold, which amuses me. I originally made this pot of tea because I was feeling chilly. lol

I hear my Traveling Partner in the background. Sometimes in the shop. Sometimes at his computer. Sometimes in the living room. I smile every time I notice his continued presence. It’s less an interruption in what I’m doing than a simple reminder that there is life beyond work, and that love exists. It’s very pleasant. The sounds of “home”.

I take a moment for a break. A moment for comfort. A moment to be present, here at home, savoring what feels so good and right in this moment. Moments are fleeting – best to appreciate them while they’re fresh. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Soon enough it will be time to begin again.

Daylight Savings Time is pointless and it sucks. Moving right along…

Yesterday's dawn

Yesterday’s dawn broke through the gray sky before rain took over the day.

I started this morning early, restlessly trying to sleep later, having forgotten about daylight savings time, and not really understanding the lie my clock was telling me; I’d already reset it, and struggled to understand why I was so awake, seemingly “so early”. I got up and stumbled around groggily for a few minutes. Tried to go back to sleep, figuring… Sunday, groggy, that could mean more sleep… Nope. I got back up minutes later, once it was clear my monkey mind was up for the day. lol Coffee and musicย began my solitary morning. No heartache there, I’m just aware I am alone, after two lovely mornings shared with my traveling partner.

Autumn is a good season for choosing joy.

Autumn is a good season for choosing joy.

I scrolled through my Facebook feed rather mindlessly, skipping over the provocative bullshit propaganda memes and political posts; it is too early for any of that. I smile at family photos as I scroll past them, too. It is too early for anything but smiles and sipping coffee. I’m looking for things to enjoy, simply that.

Neither savage downpours, nor depressing drizzles can stop us embracing joy.

Neither savage downpours, nor depressing drizzle can stop us embracing joy.

My traveling partner isย enjoyingย his creative side this year, and I am quickly distracted by the recollection of shared joy, and hours recently spent listening to music together. I move on from Facebook to the vast available information of the internet, looking for favorite booming bass lines to share with him. I feel content, and wrapped in joy.

Inspiration and joy

Embracing inspiration, connecting, sharing – and finding joy.

Joy. It’s a lovely feeling to pause for, to really appreciate – it can be fleeting. That’s okay, too; change is. Those fleeting moments can be savored, and the time I take to really appreciate the experience of joy (whether during, or after the fact) not only holds the potential to improve my implicit emotional biases, generally, but also to improve my capacity to feel joy in the first place. quite specifically. Nice. It’s a powerful practice to take time to savor moments of joy – and it feels super good. ๐Ÿ˜€

What moments of joy will I find along the way today?

What moments of joy will I find along the way today?

The night sky begins to lighten, hinting at a gray dawn to come. There’s an entire day potentially filled with joy ahead of me. Sounds lovely, even if the joy I am filling my day with is the recollection of past joy; joy is one of life’s great delights. It can be so easy to overlook joy, simple joy, great joy, subtle joy, easy joy, hard-won joy, fragile fleeing joy on a difficult day, childlike unexpected joy, joy as a moment or as a state of being; even joy has variety.ย Loneliness and heartbreak (or even ennui, boredom, or irritation) don’t withstand being immersed in joy. I make my choice joy, when I think to. ๐Ÿ™‚

Search all the books that matter most to you, there are still verbs involved. :-)

Search all the books that matter most to you, there are still verbs involved. ๐Ÿ™‚

Today, I choose joy. It’s a lovely day for it, however gray the sky overhead. ๐Ÿ™‚ My results may vary, but I can also choose to begin again, any time. ๐Ÿ™‚