Archives for posts with tag: mindfulness matters

Still Staying Home

April 20, 2020 //

I’m sipping this great cup of coffee, this morning, before work. The news is still focused on the pandemic. No surprise. It’s getting weird, though. The number of people frustrated enough by stay-at-home orders to begin protesting those is fairly astonishing. Seriously, People? Stay-the-fuck-at-home. Good grief. This is not about profit or economic measures of success, it is about survival. My suspicion is that most of the folks suddenly raising their voices in protest are being manipulated by business interests (in some cases filtered through politicians or pundits) eager to get back to making profits, and avoid the looming risk of having to actual pay substantial healthcare and sick leave benefits long-term, beyond this crisis. It’s too easy to capitalize on individual frustrations with having to stay at home. Some folks already live on the ragged edge of what they can afford, and they can’t legitimately afford to be either out of work, or staying at home. It’s uncomfortably harsh, and very few people have received any of the promised relief being discussed. Still…

…Stay-the-fuck-at-home, for fuck’s sake. Lives are depending on that. People you know and care about. People you rely upon, but have never met. Real people.

The weekend was lovely. This cup of coffee is excellent. This moment is calm and characterized by contentment. It’s the beginning of another work week. I take time for gratitude (I am fortunate to be able to work from home). I also take time for perspective (not everyone is able to work from home) and empathy (how scary to feel confined while resources run low). I consider the practical details (delivery services are available) and the people who make it possible for everyone else to stay at home – because they are out there working, for the rest of us (delivery drivers, cooks & stockers, warehouse workers, waste collection people, mail carriers, healthcare professionals…). Complex times.

I sip my coffee and think things over. My cuticles are ragged from stressful picking at them when I’m not aware of it. Fucking hell – the least I can do is not tear at my damned cuticles. lol I find some value in that thought; maybe that’s the “hook” I need on which to hang that change of behavior long-term? It’ll take practice… my results will vary, most likely… but it is a choice, and I can begin again.

A small change can really impact our quality of life – even during this time of pandemic. 🙂 A choice can become a practice. A practice can become a change, over time. We become what we practice.

…What are you practicing?

It’s already time to begin again. 🙂

Tags be the change, begin again, breathe, can I get curbside pickup?, choose wisely, COVID-19, emotional self sufficiency, experience, good self-care, is delivery available?, just stay home, Last Week Tonight, life in the time of pandemic, lives are at risk, MBSR, mindfulness matters, money money money, perspective, practicing the practices, profit motive, real values, relationships, safe at home, stay at home, staying home, sufficiency, The Big 5, there are verbs involved, we become what we practice, what matters most?

Categories Free Will, gratitude, health, Healthy Living, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, Spring, The Big 5, Uncategorized

Wait For It…

April 14, 2020 //

I’m watching the sky slowly change from dark to dawn. I am, in a sense, “late to work”; I usually start earlier. This morning, it mattered more to start the day gently. I’m in some pain, and also feeling rather fussy in a vague way that persists, beyond my attempt to “troubleshoot” my experience. I mean… “everything” is fine, for most values of “everything”, and for most values of “fine”. Life in the time of pandemic is feeling a bit confining, at times, but my sanity project is keeping me sane, so… that’s working.

The RGB lights in my computer tower twinkle and chase merrily, over, around, back again. The aquarium light slowly begins to brighten for the day ahead. I am awake. It is a new day, well-suited to all manner of new beginnings. It’s a good place to start. 🙂

…Shipping delays make me feel vaguely impatient with life, generally… I breathe, and exhale, and let that go. This is not a unique experience. I’m fortunate to have the opportunity and resources to order this or that, and have it delivered. I sip my coffee and focus on my good fortune, my opportunities, and… the gratitude. Also a good “place” to start the day.

Life is a strange journey, is it not? One step at a time, down a path I can’t clearly see, to a “destination” that is simply an ending, eventually. How will I want to be remembered? What do I want the tale of my life’s journey to say about me, as a human being? Questions worth reflection, and a few minutes over coffee, on an utterly ordinary (for some values of “ordinary”) Tuesday morning, on a week in Spring time, in a year of pandemic.

…

…It’s almost daylight, now. Some time a bit later. Meditation. Coffee. Yoga. It’s unavoidable, at this point… I glance at the time. Yep. Time to begin again. 🙂

Tags are you going my way?, be here now, begin again, breathe, choose wisely, delivery, emotional self sufficiency, gratitude, is RGB worth it?, life in the time of pandemic, MBSR, meditation, mindfulness matters, perspective, practicing the practices, ptsd, sanity projects, social distancing, staying at home, sufficiency, TBI, walking my own path, what matters most?

Categories Allegories, Brain Injury, Free Will, gratitude, health, Healthy Living, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Spring, The Art of Being

It’s Okay to Cry, Too

March 31, 2020 //

However much we love the people we love, however good the hearts of those around us, especially in such trying times, it’s not a reasonable expectation to think it will always be easy, or that we will always “get it right”, just because we want to (perhaps even more than we usually do). Sometimes an otherwise comfortable moment may skid sideways, and suddenly become a challenge, or moment of conflict, hurt, or sorrow. So human.

…I could say “deal with it” or “happens to everyone”, and try to shrug it off irritably. I’m not really that person, though, and more often, I simply retreat to “sort myself out” and cry for a few minutes. Generally just some handful of tears of frustration and disappointment, sometimes tears of hurt, or tears of anger. It’s true, though; I cry over shit. I used to be very strict with myself over crying, working furiously to shut it down, stuff it into a dark corner of my consciousness, wrap it up quickly, hide it, wiping those errant tears away as quickly as I could, before anyone could see them, splash some water on my face and move on with things. It was not a helpful approach. Now? Now I just go ahead with it, generally, and cry. (I often seek out some privacy for that purpose, because I also don’t find someone else’s intervention, disapproval, need to “fix” things, or whatever like that at all helpful in those moments, either; sometimes I just need to cry.)

I only bring it up because I often feel some better after having – and experiencing – my emotional moment. It matters to be present with those feelings. To feel and acknowledge them, without shame, without guilt, can be incredibly freeing, and a big step toward restoring balance.

Things in the world are pretty scary right now. The media isn’t doing much to help with that, with the ceaseless 24/7 COVID-19 coverage painting every news story as somehow “about” that, and presenting a picture of the world that somehow suggests there is nothing else newsworthy going on, at all. It’s a weird lens through which to view the world. Eventually, it may “get to you”. Go ahead. Have that moment. It’s okay to cry over it, too. Give yourself a break if you do; it’s a very human thing, and honestly, not at all harmful. 🙂 You may even feel a bit better for a while, having giving yourself a chance to feel it.

…Then, begin again. Move on from that moment. Let it go. Grief is a real emotion. Feel it when you feel it. It does not have to own you, or make you over in a new image. You can choose to let it go, when you’re ready.

I am sipping my coffee in the studio. Starting my day. It’s another work day. Another Tuesday. Another day in the time of pandemic. My Traveling Partner wakes early. We’re both struggling with physical pain, this morning. Rainy day ahead? Maybe. I don’t give myself the time to over think it; it is what it is. Another sip of coffee, and I do what I can to let even the mundanity of physical pain “just go”. (It’s not that effective, right now, and my results definitely vary on this point.) I breathe, exhale, and relax. Just another work day in the “new normal”.

I glance at the clock; already time to begin the day in earnest. (I’ve been making an effort to keep to my usual schedule for a sense of normalcy.) Time, in fact, to begin again. 😉

Tags be kind to yourself too, begin again, breathe, choose wisely, emotional self sufficiency, emotional weather, emotions are not the enemy, feel the feelings, good self-care, grief, is crying normal?, it's just a moment, it's my pandemic and I'll cry if I want to, it's okay to cry, let those tears flow, life in the time of pandemic, listening deeply, MBSR, mindfulness matters, perspective, practicing the practices, ptsd, relationships, sufficiency, TBI, The Art of Being, The Big 5, there are verbs involved, we become what we practice, what matters most?

Categories anger, Anxiety, Brain Injury, Despair, forgiveness, Frustration, gratitude, grief, health, Healthy Living, Love, Mindfulness, Moments, pain, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, Spring, The Art of Being, The Big 5

Breathe

March 30, 2020 //

Another Monday morning, and yes, a Monday morning during the time of pandemic. There will be about 1 in 7 such days, for now until whenever life returns to some semblance of normalcy. Where are you finding your joy in the spaces between news articles about COVID-19? You’ll definitely want to find a bit of joy, the weight of this health crisis is pretty significant, and in spite of that, there is still purpose in life, still small delights to experience, and still a vast expanse of human experience to explore. 🙂

If the circumstances are getting to you, and you have not already tried this next practice, maybe give it a go: breathe. Meditate. (You’ve got time at home to practice!) Take a step back from the 24/7 news cycle. Start a “sanity project” that takes up a great deal of your cognitive bandwidth, and engages your creative side in a positive way. Improve your quality of life – with what you have on hand. It’s challenging, for sure. It’s something, though, and I’m pretty sure we all need something. 😉

None of us are immune to the pandemic facing us all. Be well. Be safe. Wash your hands regularly. Practice social distancing. Stay home. If you’re thinking you’re doing “well enough”, please reconsider; approach the circumstances with a beginner’s mind, trust that there is more you don’t yet know, and do better than your best. I remind myself, too. I could do better.

The weekend was a lovely one, in spite of the pandemic. In spite of the rainy spring weather. In spite of feeling confined at home. There’s not much to say about it. I’m certainly getting better at fitting meditation time into my day-to-day routine. 🙂 I enjoy spending time watching fish swim in the aquarium, and the time I’ve been spending on maintaining it, and improving it, has been worthwhile, and satisfying. No easy distractions from the things I could be doing at home that need to be done. The results are pretty good. 🙂 The stress level at home surprisingly well-managed.

…Another Monday… another opportunity to begin again. 😀

Tags be here now, be the change, begin again, breathe, choose wisely, emotional self sufficiency, finding satisfaction, good self-care, how to avoid boredom, life in the time of pandemic, MBSR, mindfulness for beginners, mindfulness matters, perspective, practicing the practices, sufficiency, The Art of Being, The Big 5, there are verbs involved, things to do at home, watching fish swim, we become what we practice, what matters most?

Categories Anxiety, Free Will, gratitude, health, Healthy Living, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Spring, The Art of Being, The Big 5

Early, Peaceful, Moment

March 29, 2020 //

It’s very early, on a Sunday morning. The aquarium lighting is on, but still quite dim, simulating a slowly approaching sunrise. My cup of coffee is hot, and tastes good (to me). I sip it slowly, while I wake up. I scroll through years of bookmarks, deleting those that are out of date (either because it is relevant to a topic in which I no longer have interest, or because the link itself has become a “dead link”). It’s an easy bit of housekeeping that doesn’t demand much of me. The sky beyond the window slowly changes from darkness to a dismal rainy day blue-gray. Rainy spring days are common enough around here, and I’m not complaining, just taking note.

I take a look at my supply of flavor concentrates for vape juice and reorder things I’m running low on. It’s less than ideal to discover, in the middle of mixing a batch of juice, that I’ve run out of a key component in the recipe I’m using. lol Once I’m a bit more awake, I take a look at the budget, and think over our household supplies – are we running low on anything important? Do I have to go out for it, or can it be ordered? Life in the time of pandemic; we definitely appreciate the many delivery options.

I check my list of things to do. Some housework, some chores, some projects, it is a list intended to keep me busy, occupy my time, and also deliver quality of life value to a shared experience. I smile, thinking about yesterday; I spent the day, mostly, reading. It was lovely. I sometimes find it hard to find the time, and the quiet, to read for a while. It is so worth making the time (and finding the quiet). 🙂

I look at the envelope laid with care on my laptop for later attention. The census. Maybe I’ll do that today? Good day for it, I think to myself. Why not?

I finish my coffee, sigh contentedly, and begin again.

Tags be love, be the change, begin again, breathe, choose wisely, emotional self sufficiency, finding peace, good self-care, life in the time of pandemic, MBSR, meditation, mindfulness matters, one moment at a time, perspective, practicing contentment, practicing the practices, sufficiency, take a quiet moment, taking care of me, The Art of Being, there are verbs involved, we become what we practice, what matters most?

Categories Allegories, Free Will, gratitude, health, Healthy Living, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Spring, The Art of Being, The Big 5

Still Staying Home

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Wait For It…

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It’s Okay to Cry, Too

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Breathe

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Early, Peaceful, Moment

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