Today I ventured forth in the late afternoon, for an appointment.  I felt tired, and I hurt, but some of these appointments are pretty hard to get, and rescheduling them is harder still.  When I stepped out into the chill of autumn, I felt a little foolish about my initial reluctance – I love fall! The bite in the air, the damp of passing drenching rains, and long hours of drizzle, the many lush greens, and bold russets and golds as the leaves begin to turn, the shhhh-shhhh of cars passing on rainy roads; all of it delights me and I feel recharged, energized, and inspired.

Walking my autumn path

The afternoon was made more enjoyable by the power of love itself.  See, for years and years I just didn’t wear a coat. I didn’t always have one. Couldn’t always afford one. Didn’t always understand that having one represented ‘taking care of me’ on those cold days when being human isn’t enough to be warm and comfortable without one. (I’m a little embarrassed now and again, as I understand more about what I wasn’t understanding. lol. So far, being embarrassed hasn’t proven to be terminal, or particularly injurious.) Back to the coat, though… it is love. Funny that a coat could be love, but there it is.  One of my dear loves, who has put an unimaginable amount of devotion into supporting and nurturing me as I wade through my chaos and damage, took me shopping one winter for a coat. I needed one, and we live in a place that has a bit of winter every year.  He was so gentle and encouraging, and it was this amazing fun adventure together… every time I wear my coat, I feel wrapped in his love.  Today I walked, smiling, wrapped in my coat against the chill, wrapped in my memory of love protecting me against fear and insecurity.  It has been a lovely autumn day.  😀

I got to my appointment… I really fought to get this appointment, with this doctor, and hilariously all the fuss and bother amounted to a 10-minute experience… and one photograph of the gray autumn sky from the 8th floor of the VA hospital, eastward, across the river.  How many 10-minute appointments does it take to pay for a million dollar view? lol

The view was worth the trip.

I am tired. It’s evening. I’m out of words for now. 😉