I woke with a headache. It’s the sort of indescribably awful headache that I generally stop just short of mentioning at all, leaving others around me under the impression I am either in a bad mood, or possibly a bad human being. I’m neither, as far as I can tell. I just have this headache. Today’s headache is a strange combination that feels a bit like a caffeine headache, and a bit like a headache from being dehydrated, without actually feeling like either – or both – and it exists in a different location in my head than either of those, too. (Have enough headaches, and I suspect anyone begins to categorize, label, or describe them by known characteristics.) This headache seems also to coexist with a ludicrously high number of spelling errors, to include trying to spell words with semi-colons, and feeling momentarily puzzled by it; that just didn’t look right at all. lol I am struggling to write, backing  up again and again to correct spelling; the habit of someone who learned to type before spell check.

Yesterday ended well. It was quite lovely and chill and a very sweet evening at home with my partners. I enjoyed it.

Yesterday, ending well.

Yeah. This headache… there won’t be many words today. This morning I will redirect my efforts to self-care, and work on easing this headache, and doing so without panic, stress, frustration, or any sense of pressure that might source from an internal sense that I must succeed. I’ll do what I know works, first, and continue to practice good practices; I will finish my coffee, drink more water, do more yoga, and take time to contemplate recent lovely happenings and moments and letting them fill my consciousness with small moments of great joy. Even if my headache doesn’t dissipate, I will enjoy those things because I enjoy them, anyway. They may help the headache. I’ll also give thought to the headache remedies on hand (we have several, including over-the-counter non-steroidal anti-inflammatories in both generic and brand name options, feverfew in my garden, and an assortment of useful herbal tinctures), and this particular headache, make a choice and hope for the best. I know I would be well-served to be utterly faithful in the witch doctor nostrums provided by the pharmaceutical industry; everything works more efficiently when we believe.  Placebo effect. LOL I am just a shade too cynical for that, generally, to my own detriment.

One thing or another will work. Already, the moments of meditation between paragraphs, the thoughtful contemplation of small joys in life, have shifted the focus of my awareness; this ‘headache’ isn’t truly a headache, after all. It’s more obvious as I become more fully awake, more aware of my body in space, more attuned to each sensation through that awareness; this is my arthritic back crying out for relief. Sometime during the night I took some position that gave my back relief, and it became a headache later. The yoga is helping, too. I pause between paragraphs this morning for a moment of meditation, an asana, a few cleansing breaths. It’s helping the headache; and I’m more aware of my arthritis pain. That’s actually a good thing. I’m listening to my body, and taking care of me.

Today is a good day for honest, compassionate, attentive self-care. Today is a good day to accept and nurture this fragile vessel in which I reside. Today is a good day to celebrate small things, and enjoy small moments. Today is a good day to be vulnerable, frank, and supportive of myself and others. Today is a good day to change the world.