Archives for posts with tag: Happy

I’m relaxing with a cold glass of iced tea, as though a chilly rain had not started to fall. lol My Traveling Partner and I finished building the new raised garden bed in the front yard together this morning. I filled it with suitable growing medium from the nearby nursery. Hell, I even planted several rows of future veggies! I’m as excited as I ever have been about a new garden space. More, maybe. In fact, I got so excited and so motivated to work in the garden, that I wore myself out a bit, and now – in spite of this rather strong iced tea – I’m overtaken by yawning, and feel like having a nap. LOL I could, of course, it’s my choice. I’m choosing, at least for now, to simply enjoying this feeling…

… “Happiness”. What gets you there may be something different than what gets me there, but I’m for sure “there” right now, and it’s worth skipping a nap to just soak it in.

Happy.

Wow. Feels good.

I love having a garden beyond the flower beds. I enjoy that there is so much variety; peas, onions, and salad greens round the back, down below the edge of the deck, along the gravel walk, planted in grow bags. In the new raised bed? Well, so far some “easy win” crops: radish, daikon, carrots, parsnips, and bush beans, with plans for maybe a couple of short growing season melons, and the eggplant seedlings that are maturing on my windowsill. 😀 Yummy stir fries are going to get even yummier. Summer salads look like they’ll be fresher and more flavorful. Add to that the exercise I get being out in the garden each day doing some little task or another – it’s all “win”. So, yeah. Happy describes this feeling pretty nicely.

The thing is, “happy” is every bit as intense as my sorrows can be, but if I don’t slow down and take notice of the moment, and really savor it, drink it in, luxuriate in it, however briefly, it doesn’t “stick”. It’s as true as ever, “this too shall pass”. Our happiest moments are worth taking time for. Real time. To just enjoy the delights of life, love, and gardening. Or, um, whatever your “thing” is, I guess. Might not be gardening. 🙂 Do you.

One sunny happy moment.

…I’ll be in the garden…

Or, you know, “make a joyful noise”, or… whatever. Some days feel made for joy. 🙂  Enjoy them when they turn up. 🙂

Seriously, wrap yourself in joy once in a while. Totally okay. Don’t let the world bring you down every time. Rapture? Real. Joy? Legit. Delight? There’s a ton of it to experience. When it over takes you? Savor the experience. Let your face hurt from smiling. Go ahead and cry happy. 🙂

Feeling happy? That’s more than okay – it’s also quite fleeting, sometimes. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Enjoy you. ❤

It’s a quiet dawn ahead of a hot day to come. The sun shines in my eyes and the light fills my studio; the day will get no cooler than this hour, now, and the windows are open to the cool morning air, the blinds raised to ensure ample freedom for uncertain breezes. The night didn’t cool off so much as it has been. Summer is here. I take my coffee iced this morning, and toast the rising summer sun with a smile – it’s well before 6:00 am, and full daylight.

I have “install the AC” on my calendar today… I still haven’t worked out which window I’ll put it in. The heat expected today is motivation to at least determine which window the AC will go in. lol

Iced coffee, birdsong, and a quiet summer day to enjoy without firm plans. It sounds nice. I’ll water the gardens before the heat of the day becomes unpleasant, and get my walk in before noon. There’s nothing exciting about any of this… except for the bit about how calm it is, how comfortable, how sustainably ordinary. I’m not meaning to brag, so I’ll make the point of saying it hasn’t ‘always’ been this way – there was a time when it was almost ‘never’ this way, and life seemed fairly pointless… or worse. I’m no longer merely enduring an unavoidable cycle of sleeping and waking, separated sometimes by nightmares, sometimes by despair. It’s a nice change.

Being here isn’t a given. Being content isn’t a passive thing. There are so many every day choices involved, and every day I take actions, and practice practices, to bring myself closer to being the woman I most want to be, living a beautiful life of sustainable contentment, comfortable with myself, and moving forward. Every day enjoyed is ended with a moment of delight and a bit of surprise that so much of it is in my hands, and of my own choosing – and much of it was, long before I understood that it could be.

Ready? Verbs!!

Ready? Verbs!!

Iced coffee goes down quickly…and summer days begin to warm up early. It’s already time to get to work watering the garden, and adjusting windows to continue the flow of cool air, and now to also limit the sun’s light reaching into the east-facing rooms. Time to put some verbs into action, and time to make some choices and begin the day. Today is a good day for verbs, for choices, and for a delightful summer day. I can’t change the weather, but I can change what I do about it. 🙂

I’m not bragging – I’m just saying, this is a lovely moment right here, and it’s authentic, and warm, and it is built on the choices I have made in life, and in the recent moments just concluded; it’s mine and I get to keep it. It is my experiences that are my measure of wealth – and self – and they can’t be faked or stolen. I am.

I am floating, uplifted, and for the moment utterly transcendent. I fucking love Love.  Just dinner out and a drive through the countryside with my traveling partner’s masterful hand at the wheel, laughing and talking and singing along with a favorite song together. It wasn’t an exotic or expensive night out; we don’t need it like that to feel loved and cared for in each other’s arms. Great conversation built this relationship we share, and great conversation – intimate, vulnerable, connected, open and real – is what sustains it. I have never loved like this, so deeply, so easily – and we’re not even talking about the sex. By comparison, the sex almost doesn’t matter – and if you knew me ‘in the flesh’ (lol) you would know how significant it is that these words come from me. We are just so right together. Even when we fail – we win. Tonight was all win and good.

This isn’t about good moods or bad moods – and I’m in a lot of pain this evening. I’m tired from the long fairly intense week at work. I’m feeling the ups and downs of acknowledging the pain and fatigue, mingling with the eagerness to see the dawn for a weekend trip to the coast, and this fully saturated feeling of love and connection. I’m not crazy and I’m not making excuses – I feel.  I feel a lot, and I feel pretty intensely, and I’m not always sure this fragile vessel can hold the contents of my heart in some moment or another – and I’m okay. This, right here, feels like an ‘everything is going to be okay’ moment on some other level…  Is it ‘just’ the love, ‘just’ the connection…or is it absolutely and entirely always about the love, always about the connection – on some level, with some soul (even if my own, with myself)?

My life could use more hugs and more eye contact, more cuddling, and more connection. That may easily be the most true thing I have ever put into words about life. Any life. Tonight I am smiling. I am grateful. I am loved. Love doesn’t need me to wait around for it, either; there is a wide world on the other side of my door, and it is filled with people who love, and yearn to be loved in return. Have you ever had that experience when the day is difficult, but some unexpected conversation with a stranger turns it around? I definitely want to have more of those. lol

I’m just saying – lonely is a thing, and there are practices for that, too. If I could just stand right here in life, feeling wrapped in love, secure, satisfied, content – motionless in this moment – I might not need to understand loneliness. I am so human… I am amused, for the moment, that some things about loneliness seem more obvious from this entirely different and not at all lonely perspective. Is that strange? When I feel loved, I am more able to love. There’s a lesson there. I will contemplate it tomorrow as I walk the beach, a solitary figure – alone, but not lonely, and very much loved.

Be love.

Be love.

I am rambling, and disrupted – but not in a bad way. I am moved. 🙂

This is not a blog post about science, water, or the seashore.

This morning I am sipping my coffee and contemplating this empty text box, and letting my thoughts wander where they will. I am pre-occupied with the evening of love ahead of me, and content with morning quite precisely just as it is. This morning, the titular aquatic metaphor is a reflection on differences in thoughts, and thinking. Some of my thoughts are an undercurrent to the busier consciousness of the immediate moment, with wakefulness interrupting my dreams and beginning a new day being rather like a tide of consciousness rolling in. My momentary considerations of some one title or another on which to build this morning’s writing are as waves, hitting my awareness, being considered, then receding.

I continue to sip my coffee and think about love. What a very sweet beginning to the day to choose. And love? Love, itself…? More than enough. Today is a good day for love.

Be love.

Be love.