Archives for posts with tag: Siletz Bay

I’m eating oatmeal and drinking a fairly uninteresting cup of hotel coffee. I slept in – I mean, for me – rather a lot; I didn’t wake up until 06:30, just as day break hinted at a new-day-to-come on the eastern horizon beyond the hotel room balcony. I sigh contentedly. I don’t even like oatmeal. lol That’s not the point.

Afternoon view from the hotel balcony.

I arrived yesterday in the late afternoon and started getting settled in… set my phone down while I brought my bags and pastels in to the room, and missed some pings from my Traveling Partner (after he had rather abruptly told me to stop pinging him because he was trying to use the phone) and he called me, worried about the prolonged lack of reply. I was fine. Everything was fine. “Nothing to see here.”

An exchange of pleasant messages a short time later managed to become a stressful conversation about an irritating eBay purchase for which we’re waiting on a refund. The circumstances themselves are annoying, and I very much want to see those resolved satisfactorily, but I definitely wasn’t seeking out opportunities to be stressed the fuck out about anything, just then. At all. Regardless of relative importance or the amount of money involved… I’m not here for that, right now. I have been teetering on the edge of “see a professional” levels of exhaustion and just frankly overwhelmed by having to do every fucking thing, basically all the time. (I recognize that a great deal of that stress and overwhelming effort is “emotional labor” vs actual physical workload, and that I do get some help with some tasks around the house from the Anxious Adventurer.) I say something about it to my partner, and he reminds me that I don’t have to look at – or respond to – his pings in real-time every moment.

…I think back to the earlier phone call and wonder how true that really is…

…I honestly don’t like leaving him hanging, and don’t want to miss responding to something truly urgent…

…Adulting is hard…

…Then I set expectations (again) that I’m going to lay down (because I’m in pain) and I set my phone aside and do that.

I wake to the sunset.

I wake to the ringing phone. I hadn’t meant to sleep… “Definitely tired,” I think as I answer the phone. My Traveling Partner greets me with a loving tone and an apology (for being cranky earlier and stressing me out) – he called because he realized I was likely to crash hard and possibly sleep past the point I’d wisely pause for healthy calories. He was right. He generally is right, about most things he bothers with at all. I’m grateful. I go across the road to the food carts and get some tasty Indian food, a nice treat. We chat briefly when I return. He misses me. I get it – I miss him too. (and I also miss me.) I’m grateful to have a partner who supports me taking care of myself in this way…and we sometimes benefit from a chance to miss each other. Perspective.

I wasn’t up much longer last night than it took to “let dinner settle” (I don’t enjoy waking up to acid reflux, so I avoid going to bed on a full stomach). I ended up calling it a night at a more or less typical time (for me), after a pleasant shower.

I woke this morning, after “sleeping in”, to a lovely new day. The sound of sea birds on the bay. The sound of ocean waves beyond the channel. A view of day break and dawn yet to arrive. Lovely. I made oatmeal and hotel coffee; I have no need to rush around doing anything more than this. I’m here, now, making the most of an opportunity to rest. This is an endeavor that has a surprising number of verbs, itself, frankly – they’re just different verbs. lol

Time to begin again. It’s a new day.

My phone pings me an alert from the security camera; the Anxious Adventurer on his way to somewhere. I send him a quick good morning message, and ask if he remembered to make coffee for my Traveling Partner (I’m clearly not there to do that!). New habits, especially short-term, can be easily overlooked, and I truly need the backup on this – not checking in on it this first morning seemed unwise. This? Right here? This is one of the major drivers of my fatigue; I struggle with feeling responsible for “all the things”, almost all the time. It’s probably a trauma-based character flaw of some kind. I breathe, exhale, and relax – and let myself return to this place, and this moment.

I open the balcony door to let in the fresh ocean breeze. I sip my coffee and write. A little later, once there’s plentiful daylight and the delights of the sunrise have been savored from here, I’ll go walk on the beach, reflecting on life and love, and feeling life’s minutes tick by gently. Later still, I’ll return to the room with fresh coffee, properly made by some professional coffee-making establishment, and set up the pastels for a day of painting and creative musings, listening to love songs and sea breezes. G’damn I needed this restful time. I’ve been pushing myself so hard, and so little of that effort has anything at all to do with me. I don’t resent service to family, hearth, and home – it’s not that. I’m just tired. It’s been a lot, and I am one mere mortal woman with my own limitations. I can only do so much for everyone else, before I have to stop, just stop, and do something for me. Rest. Paint. Wander. Exist quietly for a time without external observations, however helpful – a moment to simply be. Now and then I need a couple days alone with the woman in the mirror.

…Then I can begin again.

Things begin. Things end. My time away is pretty much finished, as I wake to a new day. This morning, I’ve got cold brew left from yesterday (which is a step up from the hotel coffee), and this quiet moment to reflect, before I finish the packing and head home. I’m eager to be home, again. There’s no need to rush, though – my Traveling Partner is likely still asleep, and I don’t want to wake him if I can avoid it. Still… it’s time to be home. 🙂

I sigh quietly to myself, and pause for a moment to go open the balcony door to let in the fresh sea air. It’s before dawn. Daybreak is still a way off. For now, it’s just me, this cold coffee and this quiet moment, and I’m quite content with that.

This wasn’t a weekend about doing so much as it was about being. It ends with a feeling of such contentment and quiet joy as is hard to describe in “just words”. It does end, though. “This too shall pass” isn’t just a reminder that our troubled times will eventually fade, but also the good times. Things begin. Things end. We are mortal creatures and our time is finite. I’ve tipped the scales, though, and now my feelings of missing my partner are at the forefront of my thoughts – definitely time to return home. 😀

Where the bay meets the sea.

I sip my coffee, listening to the waves breaking as the tide goes out. Low tide this morning at 06:31 PDT… the sun will rise minutes later, at 06:44 PDT. I’ll get a couple more pictures, maybe… I’ll get to see the sun rise from beyond the hills on the other side of the bay. I’ll be long gone before the tide comes back in. Still, there’s time to enjoy that before I go. Worth it. It does seem strange, though, to let go of counting the hours by the tides (until next time)…

I glance at my half-packed bags. I can finish packing before daybreak, then watch the tide go out, and the sun come up, in a leisurely way. I smile to myself; my eagerness to be home again is beginning to overtake my enthusiasm for the sun rise. lol Once my bags are packed, it’ll feel so much more like a good moment to begin again… 🙂

…I remind myself to stay on the path…

The balcony door is flung wide to let the sounds of the sea and the wind and the gulls fill the room. The smell of a doused bonfire on the beach sneaks in with them. A drenching misty rain began to fall shortly after sunrise; I had watched the clouds roll in bringing the rain along with them, as I sipped my coffee. I’m still sitting around sipping coffee, without a care, after “doing the needful” regarding payday details (because truly the clock never stops ticking, and some shit just needs to be done). The sky is a peculiar milky gray that obscures details that are relatively nearby, and which I can usually see quite clearly – it’s just that drenching mist of a rain adding a gray wash over everything, like a careless watercolorist.

Looking from the balcony toward Schooner Creek, through the misty rain.

I crashed ridiculously early last night, after a walk on the beach in the late afternoon, and a bite of dinner. I think it was barely 7:00 pm. I expected I’d probably end up wakeful and restless during the night, but I slept right through, waking only briefly to pee during the night, and the morning caught me by surprise; it was past daybreak when I finally woke. My sleep tracker suggests I slept quite deeply more than half the hours I slept, which is rare for me these days. I needed that rest.

A picture before bed time.

The water along the shoreline is quite clear this morning, and from my third floor hotel room I can see into the water, to the sandy bottom, and even see an occasional small crab moving along, sideways, no doubt hoping to avoid an eager gull or other shorebird looking for a tasty snack. The tide turned before I woke, and I enjoy watching the sea rise, wave after wave, gulls enjoying the air currents, or picking at bits of things in the shallow water. A bit further from shore, the clear water appears as a blue-green-gray, and I can’t see into it deeply at all; it’s deeper there. There is a channel there that never quite empties, even at the lowest tide, and occasionally shallow draft fishing boats travel this channel, fishing or moving to the next good fishing spot, rarely staying long. It’s an odd little spot, this Siletz Bay. The view changes so much with every change of the tide. I love this spot. It’s interesting seeing some of the massive logs carried down the river to the sea, they move so far on relatively little water (quite a lot of this bay is very shallow). The driftwood log upon which I sat for some time yesterday evening may not even be there by the end of the day, today.

Bay view this morning, shortly before the rain arrived.

The room is chilly, now, from leaving the door open to the balcony all damned morning (since I woke). I put on a sweater rather than shut out the sea breeze, and stop writing long enough to wrap my hands around a hot cup of coffee while I watch a short video my Traveling Partner shared with me. He misses me already, I know. It’s tempting to immediately return home to comfort him and hang out together… but I know I actually really need (and benefit from) this short break from “all the peopling” and busy-ness of life. Self-care only works when we do the things we need to do to care for ourselves. I breathe in the cold sea air, and sign contentedly. The rain is still falling, but the clouds are moving away, and it seems likely I’ll be comfortably walking along the beach shortly, enjoying the advantage of the low tide to walk along further than I might at high tide. My coffee has grown as cold as my hands.

…I would enjoy a better cup of coffee than what the hotel provides. Perhaps it is time to begin again…?

How utterly ordinary this seems. Me, a cup of coffee, a dark early morning awake ahead of the sun… I could have slept in… if I could have slept in. lol I’m not even disappointed; I woke rested and uncertain of the time. By the time I had gotten up to pee and also found a means of checking the time, I was quite wide awake and feeling that a new day had begun. I tried to go back to bed, but that lasted only minutes; I was clearly awake. So. Coffee time. 😀

Once I had made a cup of coffee, I shut off the lights and opened the curtains, the better to see the changing light as day breaks. For now, all is dark and quiet. At home, in the heart of agriculture and rural industries, this is not a particularly early hour. There would be some traffic on the road and the highway, and evidence of businesses preparing to open, most cafes and coffee stops would already be bustling with folks heading to work, or places unknown – even on a Saturday, there’d be some traffic and people coming and going. (It’s not that early, just early enough to still be dark on a December morning.) Here? In a seaside tourist town? It may as well be deserted. Rarely, cars roll down the highway. I see few headlights pass by “out there” beyond the window, beyond the bay, where the highway follows the curves of the hills beyond. No house windows are lit up, yet. No sounds come from other rooms. It’s quiet. Dark, quiet, early, this is still a day filled with promise and not much else quite yet. It’s more than an hour until sun rise.

…Good cup of coffee…

I slept well and deeply last night, and my dreams were untroubled, and unremembered now. Easy night. I hope my Traveling Partner got some rest. I wish him well from afar. As it turns out, this coastal getaway ends up being largely wasted with regard to the primary reason for going in the first place, which was to give my partner room to work. He’s been in pain and not easily able to work at all. Fucking hell. How unfortunate – and how unfair! Nonetheless, this is also time that greatly benefits me directly, and my emotional wellness is bolstered and supported with it. Already paid for, so I make a point to enjoy it, to savor it, and to take advantage of it fully without any guilt or awkwardness. I help him by coming home feeling well and merry, far more than if I rush back anxiously – and wastefully. 🙂

I sip my coffee and reflect on the day ahead. This is my one day on the coast (on this trip) that is not to do with work in any way. I’m free to enjoy the day as I’d like, whatever that means. I don’t yet know. Walk on the beach? Prowl antique shops as yet unexplored? A leisurely brunch somewhere? Laze the day away reading books? Some of all those things? I don’t know. I relish the feeling of luxury that comes of a momentary recognition that if I wanted to, I could just go back to bed and get more sleep. My time is my own, and that feels quite lovely.

I sip my coffee and explore that feeling of luxury. It dawns on me (maybe not for the first time) what a real treat that feeling of my time being my own actually is. Human beings are social creatures. We work and play collaboratively. We create and make and labor in partnerships, teams, groups, and communities. We are industrious as global enterprises. We live as families. My love of solitude is the oddity, not the norm, and in all likelihood it’s a byproduct of my chaos and damage, my trauma, and the resulting lack of enjoyment I take from society, generally… probably. I know my Traveling Partner misses me deeply when I’m away, sometimes to the point of depression. I miss him, too, but… day-to-day, I often find myself missing… this. The solitude. The quiet that allows me more room to “hear myself think”. The stillness that becomes a beautiful space to write, or paint. The freedom to simply be – without disturbing or inconveniencing anyone else with my quirks or my anxiety. So, this morning I merrily raise my coffee mug to the dark sky beyond the window, as if to say “here’s to the luxury of a couple days of solitude!” – if I haven’t “earned” it, nonetheless, I sure do enjoy it. I’m grateful for a partnership sufficiently secure to permit it as often as I do get to enjoy it. I make a point to sit with that gratitude awhile, listening to the ocean waves as the tide comes in.

…This cup of coffee is finished. I make another. I see the note that I left for myself by the coffee machine. It says “go easy on the coffee, you’ll want to sleep later!” A reminder from me to myself. I often do drink too much coffee when I’m indulging myself with some getaway or when I’m camping. It rarely seems to be a problem, the way it definitely is when I’m home living a routine ordinary life of habit and calendar. I have no idea why there’s such a difference. Maybe there isn’t? Maybe it’s an illusion? I consider whether to spend more time on that, and decide it’s unimportant. I make another coffee and move on with my thoughts.

The sky begins to lighten, ever so slightly shifting toward a dark subtly blue gray. The cars on the highway begin to pass in occasional clusters. High tide is still a bit more than two hours away, and will occur well after sun rise, which is only an hour away now. For now, just the earliest hint of dawn appears. The specificity of the language we have to describe these experiences delights me. It’s somehow very telling of the importance to human primates of the coming of a new day, that we can so clearly describe its coming using words, in such detail.

On the highway, across the bay, I see taillights just stopped there. I know that spot – there’s a pull out right there, with access to the mudflats at low tide. There are a trio of large rocks jutting out of the bay near there. The spot is called (on the map) “Freedom Rock”. It’s too dark to go down to the bay from the highway, still. It’s also almost high tide; there’s no where to go (it’s covered with water). I see that car continue to sit, lights on, then shut off the lights. I imagine some other version of me – or some similar sort of individual – sitting there in their car, waiting for enough daylight to go for some walk. It seems familiar and reasonable, and the thought pleases me. I sip my coffee and think my thoughts. I wonder if they will be disappointed when daylight reveals the lack of any point in waiting at that spot? lol

Just barely dawn; a pointless photograph.

The sky is just starting to evolve from the darkness of night to the dim light of dawn. Another few minutes, and it will be possible to take a picture without using night settings. Another cup of coffee will be consumed. My email account will sync and my app notifications will begin pinging me. Day will begin. I’m reminded to take my morning medications, and snarl quietly and not very seriously as I head over to the counter where I left them. “Aging sucks…”

I take time for yoga and meditation, then go downstairs to the breakfast bar adjacent to the lobby for a light bite of breakfast. I’m not overly eager to be out in the world, among people, so perhaps a sit down breakfast in a restaurant is not an ideal choice, this morning? No obligation to be fancy or lavish with my spending, and I’m pretty easily satisfied with a yogurt cup and a toasted English muffin. I turn my eyes toward the window just in time to see the horizon infused with shades of strawberry and peach… I jump to catch a shot of it, stubbing my toe painfully on the way…

The sort of sight worth 4 days in a hotel room.

A minute later and I’d have missed it altogether. The sky has returned to a rather featureless rainy day gray once again. Worth the stubbed toe. Worth 4 days in a hotel room. It was a gorgeous sight and the picture hardly captures it at all. I sip my coffee contemplating which pigments I would choose to capture that view on canvas. If I’d painted such a thing, in such vibrant colors, before seeing this view myself, I would hardly be surprised if someone else seeing that painting assumed I’d taken artistic liberties with the colors. lol

I sigh happily and finish my second cup of coffee, my yogurt, and my English muffin. My Traveling Partner pings me – he’s awake now too. It’s a new day. The sun has risen, though there’s no visible sign of it beside the daylight itself. I’ve still no particular idea what I’ll do with the day, and it has begun to rain softly. Antique stores and books are winning out over beach walks, presently, but the tide will begin to recede sometime after 09:00, plenty of time to consider walking on beaches later on.

Plan or no plan, I find myself ready to begin again. 😀

I woke briefly during the night and for a moment, stood at the balcony door feeling lashed by the sea breeze and spattered by the rain, listening to the waves crashing against the shore. I went back to sleep, expecting (rather realistically, I think) that I’d awaken again at “my usual time” – sometime around 04:00-05:00. It’s quite rare for me to sleep later. This morning, I woke shortly after 07:00, already daylight beyond the windows. A gray stormy morning. High tide? Almost – that’s due at 08:00.

A stormy morning, almost high tide.

I pulled myself together groggily, resisting turning on any lights, just enjoying the blue-gray of the stormy morning. The room feels stuffy, and I open the patio door wide to let in the sea breeze. I shower and dress, and run a brush through my hair, before heading downstairs briefly to grab some grab-n-go breakfast items. This morning’s breakfast is simple enough: a yogurt cup, some instant oatmeal, a small blueberry muffin to go with my second coffee, later. I indulge myself by having a small glass of orange juice, but just 4 ounces; it’s a lot of sugar all at once – but it’s enough to shake off the grogginess that had lingered. I return to my room and make coffee (the coffee in the breakfast bar is… less than ideally fit to drink. LOL)

Today is a work day, although I’m on the coast in a favorite hotel room. I’m getting a late start on the day but my hours are pretty flexible, and it’s a non-issue. My co-workers chuckle when I log in “so late” (for me). I’m usually the earliest one in. Today? Not so much. LOL Breakfast first. I take my time and let myself wake up thoroughly, before I start handling work tasks (that’s just smart). My coffee is good. Welcome and warming. Breakfast is… adequate. Nothing fancy. It’s enough to start the day on.

Damn I slept well. A huge yawn splits my face. A gull glides past the window, seeming to look in at me as it slides past and out of view.

A good spot for watching the gulls.

I already miss my Traveling Partner. He already misses me. I still value (and enjoy)(and even need) this solo time. The time spent on work is just work time, but the time I’ll get to spend reading, writing, reflecting, and taking pictures will be so emotionally nourishing. Time well-spent. Doesn’t stop me missing my partner. The opportunity to miss each other is precious; it gives lasting perspective and awareness of just how much we really do mean to each other. That’s worth having.

…My Traveling Partner pings me a heart emoji. He’s awake too. The day begins. I smile, thinking of the both of us, each in our own space, sipping our morning coffee, rested, relaxed, and in love. It’s a good morning. 😀 I sip my coffee contentedly and glance at the time. Looks like time to begin again. 😀