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It was the anxiety that woke me, drenched in hot sweat, feeling a weight on my chest, breathless and on the edge of panic, in a quiet, dark room, in the wee hours before dawn. What the hell? I forced myself to remain still, and artificially calm. “Breathe!” I commanded my still waking consciousness sternly. I exhaled slowly, emptying my lungs. Another deep breath, another slow complete exhalation. I turned on a dim light as I continue to breathe, exhale, and relax.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

“Anxiety” 2011

Anxiety is a very human experience. Certainly there’s no shortage of shit that might make us anxious in the modern world. Here? Now? In a dimly lit comfortable bedroom in a safe suburban neighborhood during the quiet hours before a new day begins there really doesn’t seem to be anything going on worth feeling anxious about. That’s all anxiety is, after all, a feeling. The lived experience of human biochemistry misfiring in the darkness. Fucking hell I definitely dislike feeling anxious. The worst of it is the way my mind immediately goes into overdrive trying to ascribe an “obvious” cause to it that seems plausible enough to become difficult to shake, however ridiculous it actually is.

I get up. Dress. Head out for the local trail I favor for a pleasant morning walk. The anxiety goes with me, this morning. It is what it is. I keep breathing. I keep reminding myself that “anxiety is a liar”, which I have found to be reliably true.

A peaceful spot suitable for a moment of reflection.

I sit with my thoughts awhile, near a small chapel alongside the first section of the trail. I’m in no hurry. Coffee with a friend a little later, and a bit of a drive to get there. The morning is my own. I think wistfully of my Traveling Partner, still sleeping at home. I hope my anxiety didn’t disturb his rest.

I breathe, exhale, relax. Meditation before my walk isn’t my usual practice. This morning I need the benefit of that cultivated moment of peace before I set off down the trail. There’s no self-critical pressure being applied, no disappointment over feeling anxious. This is the moment I’m in, and the experience I’m having. It doesn’t seem to be connected to anything, and I’m not surprised by that. I’ve got a diagnosis for good reasons. This anxiety is “disordered” – it’s “not real”, in the sense that there is no external cause at all. It is inappropriate to the circumstances. Baggage. The leavings of past trauma and whatever the fuck else causes a human body to fire off a bunch of chemical signals that suggest there is some dire circumstance afoot. (There just isn’t, and anxiety is a liar.)

On the other hand, the feeling of anxiety, the experience of the chemistry of it, is very real and very troublesome. I breathe through it, repeating the cyclical breathing I know specifically helps calm my nervous system. That’s very real, too. I’m still surprised how much effect specific breathing patterns can have on my subjective experience. The way my breathing can directly and immediately change how I feel is amazing. Sometimes it takes a bit of discipline. Real practice. Verbs. Persistence.

I stand and stretch as it begins to sprinkle. I’m fairly close to the car, so I walk back for my rain poncho. The walking also calms my anxiety quite a lot, especially when I am present in the moment and not all up in my head.

Even as the anxiety begins to dissipate, I feel it clawing at my brain trying to latch on to some idea or experience to find justification that will feed it. I keep brushing aside the impulse to make it “about” something. Not helpful. I roll my eyes and walk on down the trail.

For some of us, building and maintaining mental health and emotional wellness is a lifelong endeavor that can feel a little frustrating when it seems endlessly unresolved. Solutions feel impermanent, because they are. Life doesn’t stand still and mental illness is pretty persistent. Whether we take medication or practice a strict diet and exercise regimen, or maintain a committed meditation practice, or see a therapist regularly, or some combination of things that we’ve found some measure of success with, for many people mental health isn’t a given – it’s a struggle. There’s no easy cure in a pill. Mental health isn’t that simple. Trauma remakes us. The ideal biochemical balance for any one human primate isn’t clear. There’s a shitload of trial and error involved in finding what works for any one human being – and finding it doesn’t guarantee lasting relief.

…So… This morning I woke to anxiety. This morning I walk with anxiety. This morning I practice the practices that work best for me, not out of habit, and not because I generally find value and resilience in them, but because I really need all the tools at my disposal to kick anxiety’s ass another day.

As I walk, I feel the anxiety slowly beginning to dissipate. Sometimes it takes awhile. I’m grateful to deal with it alone this morning; less risk of unnecessary drama erupting from the lies my anxiety tells me. I breathe the fresh scent of petrichor and Spring flowers. I exhale the last remnants of tension from this mortal body. I repeat the breathing and the feeling of relief is also repeated. Breathe in, breathe out, walk on… It mostly works for me, and this morning it’s enough.

… Like anything else, anxiety is impermanent. It will pass. If I don’t feed it, it will starve…

I get to my halfway spot with my thoughts, and a beautiful sunrise on an overcast drizzly morning. I’m okay for most values of “okay”. My results vary, but there’s really nothing amiss and it’s a lovely morning. I can begin again.

One moment of many, and fairly insignificant. I’m at the midpoint on my morning walk, mind mostly empty, the flow of my thoughts kind of random. Definitely not any version of “productive”. Good grief, sometimes it’s hard to care about that, anyway. Too many details and too many demands on my time and attention… sometimes I just want to “pull back” from all of that and find a quiet corner somewhere alone. This walk will have to do, I guess. I’ve got the trail to myself. That’s something.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

The morning is cool and mild, and the forecast suggests the temperature will be below 20C (68F). I happily decide to wear one of the sweaters my Traveling Partner has given me as a birthday gift. I feel wrapped in comfort and love.

“Baltimore Belle” blooming in the darkness.

I watered the lawn on my way out, which is my routine during the months when watering is needed now that the Anxious Adventurer has gone. With my walks and my work location both being very local and near home, this isn’t any sort of inconvenience. I enjoy the smell of petrichor as the water begins to soak into the soil. Noisy robins, also early risers, sing their noisy song at me, and I imagine that they are calling “you missed a spot” or “a little more over here, please!” or similar helpful instructions.

Overcast sky at dawn.

I get to the trail just after daybreak. There’s no one else here when I arrive. Pretty typical, it’s really early. I walk until I reach this spot, this moment. I don’t actually have much to say about it. I’m here. The moment is now. It’s pretty routine and ordinary and generally okay. Sprinkles of rain drops tap at some leaves, and a few land on my face. It doesn’t amount to rain. Like the scattered contents of my mind this morning, which reach me, but don’t amount to “thoughts”, really. They’re just snapshots and fragments. Scraps.

… Nice morning for meditation…

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I’m not complaining – there’s nothing to complain about, just now. I’m not really doing anything, just sitting here by the trail with my thoughts, just as they are. I feel as if I’m between moments, although this is moment enough on its own. I sigh to myself, “nothing to see here”, I think. I let my attention wander, as if seeking something from nothing.

I stretch and yawn, and begin again.

Butterflies are a beautiful metaphor for change and growth. It is too early for butterflies on the meadow here. They come later. Interestingly, and perhaps in conflict with the whole “growth and change” metaphor in some way, butterflies have no choice. They will go through metamorphosis like it or not. We have a choice whether to learn, grow, and change or…not.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

I am thinking about butterflies because I appreciate them as a metaphor, not because there are (or, as is the case presently, are not) any actually around. We can choose change. Can choose “metamorphosis”, we can choose being and becoming.

The last couple of days I’ve taken time to illuminate a couple pages in my notebook (it’s really not a “journal”) for future writing. The pages delight me. The theme is butterflies, and growth and change. I haven’t written anything on these pages, maybe I won’t, ever. I enjoy the prepared pages, regardless, they are a thing all their own.

Butterflies on a page.

An unexpected yawn interrupts my thoughts. Crazy, I almost feel as if I could just lay down and sleep. It’s fully daylight on a lovely Spring morning, and I’m sitting at a favorite stopping point along the marsh trail, as it turns to meander past the meadow and through a stretch of oak savannah and down to the river, where there is a lovely viewpoint at which I rarely stop (too crowded, very popular).

One version of beginning again.

I had started down the trail from “the low end”, heading west, clockwise if viewed from above. Most people will start from the upper parking area, and take the year-round trail in a counterclockwise direction, getting to all the marked viewpoints quickly, and turning back. A few photographers will venture further, to the blind setup in the meadow looking towards the ponds, or the viewpoint less favored by walkers, which looks out over the meadow at “nothing”. The birdwatching folks like that one a lot. The meadow and grassy places between the oaks is dotted with patches of flowers, yellow or white or some hue of pink. The lupines are done and going to seeds. It is time now for wild mustard, daisies, and dandelions, and wild roses.

The view when I arrived was gray and overcast.

Sunshine comes and goes. I think about change and growth and becoming the person I most want to be. I think about how fortunate and grateful I am to enjoy the partnership I have with my Traveling Partner. It feels good to be so well cared for. Like a friend on a road trip who remembers to bring their GPS, he reliably “knows a great place to stop”, and helps me find my way, if only by joking about the scenery, or encouraging me to continue. Instead of each day being a new moment of dread and anxiety, each day brings a new opportunity to begin again in good company.

… We’re still each having our own experience…

Same view, different moment.

Sunshine breaks through the clouds again.  Self-care matters. We become what we practice. I stretch and squint into the sunshine. The meadow-fresh air smells of flowers and something spicy. The robins eye me between tasty morsels dug up from the leaf litter and soft soil beneath it. They sing bits of song at me, but I don’t speak robin. 😆 Perhaps they are reminding me that there is a whole day ahead? So many moments and opportunities to change! I remind myself I’ve got errands to run once I turn towards home on the other side of this walk.

For now I’ll just enjoy this moment. I can begin again later. Right now it is enough to breathe the Spring air and listen to birdsong, and think about metamorphosis – and practice. We become what we practice.

I feel pretty good this morning. I probably have my Traveling Partner to thank for that, this morning. I’m grateful for the care and consideration he shows me.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

Yesterday was a busy one at work. Busy and chaotic and filled with pressure to complete tasks. It was filled with “wins”, but also? It was a lot of work. Cognitive effort is still effort. Cognitive fatigue is still fatigue. Exhaustion doesn’t care how you got there. My capacity for manual labor and physically taxing tasks isn’t what it was at 30. The work I do now isn’t dependent on that. I can still manage to thoroughly exhaust myself over the course of a busy week or day. Yesterday, I returned home from work so completely “used up” that I could not visualize food sufficiently well to prepare a meal, and when my beloved suggested I should take some time to take care of myself and not just sit on the couch numbly hanging out with him (but not really present), I started crying. Fatigue.

He was right though; I very much needed to take care of myself rather urgently.

…If I had rejected his suggestion I might not be where I am this morning, relaxing at a favorite spot along a favorite trail as the sun rises, feeling merry and rested…

Sunrise

I chose self-care. I withdrew to a quiet room with my paper journal (it’s barely that, it’s more a combination coloring book, sticker collage, and poetry notebook) and my stickers. That doesn’t sound “grown up”, I know – but self-care isn’t about appearances or performance. I sat in a dimly lit room, resting my display-fatigued eyes for a little while. I meditated. In the stillness, notifications and phone silenced, I breathed and exhaled and relaxed, letting the stress of the exceptionally busy day recede into the past.  I looked over my stickers contentedly and began decorating a new page (with various sizes of colorful butterflies). Later I might add words to the page, a poem, a thought, something interesting I’ve noticed maybe. The result is a sort of illuminated book of…notions? It’s a very calming practice for me, and another contemplative practice I can choose when I need to nurture something within myself that has been spent.

… Your results may vary; choose nurturing restorative practices that work for you

Once I had rested my mind, my eyes, and my senses, I returned to the living room feeling much refreshed. The evening was a pleasant one spent hanging out in the good company of my beloved. I went to bed at the usual time (pretty early, but I’m up early, and trying to keep later hours hasn’t managed to shift that waking time at all). I slept well and deeply. I woke feeling fresh and ready to take on a new day, and another mile.

Self-care matters.

I promise myself that I will be more considerate of this fragile mortal vessel today. There is more work to be done. I remind myself to protect my time – and my peace – and to make wise choices about the quality and quantity of the media I consume. There’s a lot out there that has no relevance or importance to me at all, and there is no need to waste my attention on it.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. It’s a new day full of opportunities and choices. I remind myself to choose wisely. There is so much to learn and see and do in one mortal life, and it isn’t all about me, all the time. Life is bigger than that. Choose easy or choose hard, we’ve only got so much to give and our time is finite.

I’ll make my walk a short one today, my aching knee tells me that’s a smart choice. I’m grateful for my Leki trekking pole that is my everyday cane (very light weight, has some shock absorbtion built in). It has been durable and worth what I paid for it, some 10 years ago. I wonder again why we burden our elders with the poor quality rather heavy canes I see used commonly… don’t we care enough to make life just a little bit easier for our elders? Haven’t they worked hard enough already?

I sigh and get to my feet, ready to begin again.

This morning I’m sitting alongside the trail, feeling the hint of a breeze tickle my face. It is a vaguely unpleasant sensation, and I brush my hair back from my face, irritated by the sensation. It passes. I watch the strange sunrise. A dense faraway bank of clouds along the eastern horizon obscures the view, no sign of Mt Hood, and a strangely uninteresting dawn unfolds as I watch. It’s not colorless, but it’s also not worth photographing. The moment itself is very much worth living.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

My birthday is coming up. I think about that for some little while. What do I even want? 63 this year… not exactly a milestone birthday. I chuckle grimly to myself; I’m no actuary, but even accounting for good fortune, modern medicine, and family history, it is a fair bet I’ve only got (at best) another 47-50 years left, regardless how I carefully I live them. The recognition that however one might approach the math, I’ve lived longer now than the time I have left feels a little heavy. That ticking clock ticks on.

What does an oak see in a lifetime?

I sigh as I sit with my thoughts. The slow steady exhalation feels pretty good, like letting go of a heavy weight – was I holding my breath (or just not breathing)? I take another deep deep breath and blow it out slowly. How is it that the simple act of breathing can feel so good? I breathe, exhale, and relax, and adjust my seated posture for better comfort. This is a good spot for meditation.

I am pulled from my reverie by farm workers driving through the vineyard, calling instructions or greetings to the workers making their way down the carefully planted rows.

…Beautiful sunny morning…

It’s almost June. My Traveling Partner has more or less redecorated and rearranged the entire house since the Anxious Adventurer returned to Ohio to live a life he understands from a computer chair, through a screen. Me? I’m still trying to finish unpacking into my studio and still haven’t finished returning things to book shelves that had gone into storage. I don’t see it as laziness or lack of commitment, there are simply a lot of things competing for my time and attention, and I kill forty hours every week working for someone else. Pretty ordinary, and I’ve only got so much energy to work at all (like anyone else). My results vary. 😆

…63…

Weird sort of birthday. I wonder what I actually want? I sit with that thought. Cheesecake would be nice. Maybe brunch out together, with my Traveling Partner? Books. I love holding a new book in my hands that I have not read. I still read. Maybe a really nice bottle of sherry, something sweet, that tastes of raisins and aged oak? I smile at my foolishness. I drink so seldom and so little that a bottle of sherry is a delight for a year or longer. It is more enticing as an idea than in practice. Books make more sense from a purely practical perspective.

Generally speaking, I have what I need in life. I let my mind roam my mental map of the house. Anything missing? Not really. I’m fairly content and satisfied with my life most of the time. I haven’t got much to complain about or yearn for. Nothing obvious lacking. Granted, I’m pretty easily pleased, and satisfied with sufficiency… but one might expect I’d have at least some idea of something more I might want.

… Cheesecake and books to read? That’s all I can come up with? 😂 Maybe a watch? I like a nice timepiece with an automatic movement…

Time. I want more time. Not exactly a practical item for a wishlist.

… That ticking clock vexes me. There is still so much to see and do in this life, and so many more miles to cover on paths I haven’t yet walked. I’m certainly not bored with it.

I watch the sun rise, and get ready to begin again.