Archives for the month of: April, 2023

Sluggish start to a new day, in spite of this good cup of coffee. I’d very much rather be sleeping. lol My reminder to take morning medication goes off, startling me; I’ve usually taken it and silenced the alarm before now. I chuckle quietly to myself – that’s the whole point of having an alarm, these days when I’m sluggish and not super alert. Purpose fulfilled.

I am musing contentedly about “things that bring joy”. Pretty subjective notion, there, but I am … entertained? Satisfied. It’s a reasonable bit of reflection for a slow morning. What brings you joy? It may be quite different in some regards to what brings me joy… although… human primates being what we are, there’s surely a lot of overlap? I think about it. While I reflect on what brings me joy, I also contemplate how to deliver that kind of joyful experience to someone else. What could be more delightful than the joy someone experiences through some little thing I may have done? I love that feeling. 😀

…The joy itself is a pretty splendid feeling all on its own, too, is it not?

I smile to myself and remember to update the budget to reflect changes, and feel a bit of background anxiety melt away. The anxiety wasn’t over the expenses themselves, or even the budgeting or the spreadsheet; it was the loose end, the awareness that the budget was not up-to-date. That’s the kind of shit that so easily can wreck a moment, a day, or an experience, so I pause my writing, hop over to Sheets and update my budget to reflect changes my Traveling Partner and I had discussed. Feels good that doing so doesn’t provoke any anxiety at all – it only eases it. That feel new(ish). I savor the moment with a contented sigh, and a sip of coffee.

I let the clock tick away without giving it much attention. I glance at my hands. I’ve torn them up lately, mostly over background anxiety and bullshit, wholly unnecessary and mostly completely unrelated to any real thing in my day-to-day experience. I’m okay… but my torn cuticles tell their own story. The other night, my Traveling Partner quietly, without prompting, and with a very serious concerned look on his face stepped over to where I was sitting and just handed me a bottle of lotion for my poor hands. lol I got the hint. So… I’m working on focusing more on joy than stress, and doing my mindful best to keep from tearing at my cuticles or biting my nails. It’s super hard. I keep practicing. It’s gotten so much better than it once was – still not where I’d like to be. I’ll just keep at it, patiently, building discipline through diligence and practice. We become what we practice.

…Sometimes it’s quite difficult to practice not doing something…

I breathe, exhale, relax. I find myself thinking about far away friends and “once upon a time” long ago moments of shared joy.

My eye lands on the clock. It’s already time to begin again…

I’m sipping my coffee, which is going cold faster than I am drinking it. The sky is slowly shifting from night through the dawn-shades of blue and soon it will be daylight. I breathe, exhale, relax, and sit quietly and contentedly in the early morning stillness for some minutes before my fingers ever touch the keyboard. I spend a few minutes just enjoying the quiet time.

Yesterday evening was lovely. Not fancy. We didn’t have anything planned and didn’t do anything noteworthy, it was just a lovely evening at home together. I’m just making a point of reflecting on it, and enjoying that recollection.

One of the most challenging details of emotional wellness, mental health, and building resilience, is simply the essentials of day-to-day practice. Meditation only “works” if I do it. Regularly. Reliably. Same with the breathing. With the self-reflection, acceptance, and non-attachment. As with physical fitness, so much of these shit is “use it or lose it” – if I stop meditating, I lose the resilience that comes of it. If I stop practicing “being calm”, I slowly descend into emotional chaos over time. If I stop taking long (looooong) walks? I slowly lose endurance, fitness, and even the appetite for the endeavor at all. So much depends on taking a first step, then another, and developing a practice.

Discipline. Not the “discipline” of punished wrongdoings – the real discipline of sticking with a plan, of following a path, of staying the course with a practice – even over a lifetime. Discipline. I don’t have that much of it, honestly, thus the need to practice. When I practice with great reliability, I build my discipline and yes, become disciplined – and it’s a transferrable skill! If I am disciplined with regard to my meditation practice, it’s far more likely that I’ll also be disciplined about self-care, household chores, and deep listening, and the dominoes begin to fall into place in an orderly way. Discipline keeps me on the path to becoming the person I most want to be. 😀

It starts with a breath.

It starts with a practice.

It starts with a step.

It starts with a new beginning.

Are you ready to begin again? Where will this path lead you?

It’s a Monday. The weekend was odd… and also oddly delightful. No amount of actual proper planning went into it; it was simply a weekend on which life skidded sideways in a remarkable and wonderful way, and without creating agita or stress. It was … good. Time well-spent with my Traveling Partner, though it did “test me” a bit; I tend not to be particularly “spontaneous”, and I like a good plan. Circumstances and change will have their way with our planning. LOL

What do you want out of life? What do you want for yourself? What do you see as representative of your individual success – and what are you doing to get to that place? It’s just something I’m thinking about this morning, because although I thought I “knew what I wanted” 10 years ago, I for sure was not “headed that direction” and between holding myself back out of doubt, and just not making forward progress (often due to clinging to my chaos and damage, or refusing to set down some bit of baggage and move on). Somehow, I am now in a very different place… I’m not as certain day-to-day “what I want” in a clear and “execute the plan” sort of way, but I am managing to progress toward my goals rather quickly. I chuckle thinking about how hard I made things for myself years ago, with thinking errors, and poor decision-making.

…I’m not even being particularly harsh or critical with myself. This is not a “woe is me” moment; I’ve learned a lot along the way, and every moment has been precious for some characteristic all its own.

…But… what do you want? Why do you want that? Is it really what you want – or did you adopt it from someone else’s dreams? I think these are important questions. I ask them. Answer them. Act on what I learn about myself.

Do you really want a Lamborghini? Those Louboutin shoes? The designer bag? The custom kitchen? The big house? The 7-figure dream salary? Are you sure about it? I mean, if those are the things in life you’re after, they are probably within reach… given the time, the appropriate decision-making, and the required follow-through. I don’t say it’ll be easy, but most of that looks approximately achievable for a lot of people – if they choose to do what that honestly takes. Most folks don’t want to put in the required work – or make the necessary decisions. What if it’s your partnership holding you back? Your family? Friends? Would you choose? (Some people definitely do.)

Gnothi Seauton. Know yourself.

What do you really want?

What stops you from doing what it takes to achieve your dream?

Think about it.

Begin again.