Archives for category: Anxiety

…To escape myself, and I walked another mile to be alone with my thoughts, and I walked a mile after that to achieve a goal. Along the way I discovered, again, that my baggage goes with me on every journey I take, that my thoughts have no substance that I don’t give them myself, and that goals are chosen – often rather randomly (and sometimes achieving them fails to satisfy). 🙂

The thought of a goal, of a  destination, is no more real than any other thought.

The thought of a goal, of a destination, is no more real than any other thought.

I was excited to read that there is now a public transportation option to reach Multnomah Falls – how cool is that?! I was also fairly earnestly needing some time away in the trees… The opportunity seemed a good fit, and I took it.

The map is not the world. The fantasy is not the reality.

The map is not the world. The fantasy is not the reality.

It was a crowded trip over on a shuttle bus just filled to bursting with corporate douchebags on vacation. What is it that makes people just keep talking louder in a noisy place, thereby increasing the volume and density of the wall of noise? What makes videos on cell phones more interesting than beautiful mountain scenery? What makes a firm, over-confident, absolutely-no-risk-of-error tone of voice so often associated with colossal bores and aggravating asshats? lol By the time the shuttle pulled into the parking lot, I knew a great deal more about many of my traveling companions than I cared to, and was already bored with the movies some of them are purportedly making. lol (And, for what’s it’s worth, Dude, although I didn’t say so in-real-time, it’s really just not actually any of your business what her career choices are, or what they are ‘about’, and I sure wish you could have stopped yourself dissecting them because I’m pretty sure the woman you were insulting ‘behind her back’ was the one sitting close enough to hear you, based on her silent, visibly evident fury as you spoke.) Have I bitched enough about the shuttle ride? I could also take a moment to mention how awesomely convenient it was, and how pleasant and skilled the drivers were. 🙂

Hey, Everyone - look at this! lol

Hey, Everyone – look at this! lol

I’d forgotten that the ‘real’ reason I rarely travel to these trails is less about distance or convenience, and more about crowding. As with any popular landmark or location, Multnomah Falls is crowded. Really crowded. In spite of the rain that poured continuously from the moment the shuttle pulled away, this water fall is so popular that dense crowds line even the narrow rocky trail beyond the first walk-up view-point, and the bridge above it, too. Even at the top of the falls, a slippery, rainy, steep mile high or so, the crowds were…crowding. It was a first-rate opportunity to see how well (or poorly) our society works together… some parents gently/firmly cautioning their kids to stay on the trail (as also directed by signage), others completely disregarding their feral offspring darting here and there between moving adults, on and off the trails, over and around barriers, walking the tops of walls, running, jumping, shouting… Yeah, I didn’t find it a particularly pleasant hike. I struggled to find balance, peace, stillness – the trees themselves seemed impatient with the noise. And it rained. It rained hard enough, continuously enough, that not only did I need the rain gear I inevitably stuff into my pack, but also hard enough that my camera wasn’t very useful.

In spite of aggravation all around, there is still beauty.

In spite of aggravation all around, there is still beauty.

I found myself relying heavily on practices for managing stress. Finding any quiet spot was a challenge.

There is time for beauty - I only have to take the time I need to enjoy it.

There is time for beauty – I only have to take the time I need to enjoy it.

With the rain falling, it was difficult to make the best use of my camera, and I found that to be one actually okay thing about the day’s hike; I was there every moment. 🙂

So many people looking at the same thing, taking the same pictures...

So many people looking at the same thing, taking the same pictures…

By far the best pictures from yesterday’s hike were all the many pictures I simply couldn’t take because of the rain; they are the memories of the moments, and the day, and at least for now they are as clear and sharp as any photograph. “Wow” sights that would be difficult to photograph (for me)… bits of jovial conversation among strangers on a rainy crowded trail… the smell of wildflowers… laughter… and a couple good miles toward my fitness goals, all worth experiencing, no camera required.

I headed home much sooner than I might have, had the location been quiet, comfortable, and less (much less) crowded. The shuttle back was quieter; most people riding it clearly were not the sort to spend many miles on their feet, and there was a lot of napping going on. I enjoyed the quiet, and the scenery.

One last picture.

One last picture…my favorite of the day, taken by mistake while I fussed with the camera to take a different picture altogether – that didn’t turn out. There’s a metaphor in there, somewhere. 🙂

The rain continued to fall… until I stepped off the light rail, close to home.

It was an unsatisfying hike, as hikes go. It was a peculiar day, spent crowded together with strangers – when I had been seeking solitude and peace. How very strange to make the choices I did. I sip my coffee and consider it further; it seems clear I could have anticipated all the details that were uncomfortable, and could easily have chosen differently. What was I thinking? It’s not a matter of discontent – and I’m not actually ‘bitching’, more… curious. It was an interesting adventure – and I realize as I consider the day in the context of living life that it has more value that I thought to give it, initially; I now know how easily I can reach those more distant gorge trails – and that’s pretty sweet. Just beyond the crowds? The wilderness. 🙂

Eventually, steps add up to miles, miles add up to distance, and distance traveled eventually becomes a lifetime of experience. I still have to take all the steps, do the verbs, practice the practices… and some days it rains. 🙂

I woke in pain this morning, to a chilly gray rainy day. Yesterday’s sunshine is a memory. Today, pain takes a firm determined step forward; I am often in a lot of pain on the rainy days I love so much. It’s an arthritis thing, I suppose. Still, it’s a lovely morning so far in spite of that, and I sip my coffee and make my list contentedly. I look at my list and realize I’ve jotted down a task I’m unlikely to be physically able to do today…I cross it off. Tomorrow, maybe.

Yesterday's sunshine...no more real now than any other memory unless I savor it and make it my own.

Yesterday’s sunshine – a lovely memory.

It’s early, still. Meditation, yoga, a walk, and a shower – the morning is well underway. My physical pain distracts me. I pull my mind back to other things – things that matter more to me; it’s ‘date night’ with my traveling partner. Our time together is so genuinely at ease, so deeply connected and passionate, so emotionally supportive, so playful… I’m still awed by this amazing love we share. 🙂 It’s worth pausing often to appreciate it, especially with impermanence being what it is, and change being a thing. I don’t know what obstacles may exist on the path ahead, or what twists life may sneak into future of love. I am learning to enjoy what is, without wailing over what isn’t – or taking every damned thing so personally that I am unable to understand that we are each having our own experience. Incremental change – incremental progress. 🙂 I keep practicing.

We choose our path, but sometimes the way ahead is not obvious until conditions are right.

We choose our path, but sometimes the way ahead is not obvious until conditions are right.

There’s plenty to practice, isn’t there? Life is rich with complexity, full of stress, and so busy it all seems to happen so fast – too fast, sometimes. Yesterday morning, I could feel how very precariously poised I was, between a full on meltdown, and something different from that. I was uncertain I would be able to maintain emotional balance, perspective, and contentment in the face of the numerous stressors piling up, and the growing feeling of being overwhelmed somehow. I took the day, and I took care of myself. Meditation. A walk in the sunshine. More time meditating. Time spent in the garden among green living things. Some time enjoying coffee in the sunshine on the patio. Meditation. Healthy nutritious meals made from whole fresh ingredients. Adequate sleep. Mediation. Comfortable clothes. An orderly environment. Appropriately timed medication. I spent the day being purposefully kind to myself, and as much as possible taking action, rather than reacting. By mid-afternoon, I felt reliably, sustainably content, comfortable in my body, safe with my thoughts, and secure physically and emotionally. 🙂 My results vary – it could have gone quite differently, and I was prepared that it might.

There's more than one path, more than one way, more than one choice; there are a lot of verbs involved.

There’s more than one path, more than one way, more than one choice; there are a lot of verbs involved.

So here I am today. Today seems nice so far… the pain is not relevant to that, and it may not be an impediment to enjoying the day in relative comfort. Even here there’s a balance to be found, the balance between distracting myself from hurting, and being sufficiently aware of it to take appropriate measures at regular intervals: moving around, taking those effective pain relief measures available to me, taking ‘yoga breaks’… It’s easy to get mired in the sensation of pain and overlook that it would ease if I got up and did something else for a few minutes. 🙂

I keep practicing.

I keep practicing.

Even my heart is at ease today. That was not so much the case yesterday. Ah, but it isn’t yesterday now, is it? I begin again. Today is a good day to take care of me. Today is a good day to enjoy the things about life that I find most enjoyable – and maybe find some new things to enjoy as well. Today I begin again – again. 🙂

Today might be too much, I feel it already. Rare these days, so the feelings really stand out –  helpful, more than aggravating, and I could use more of it. I can’t put my finger on something specific right now, or be certain things will go sideways at some point, but the potential for it exists as a distinct recognizable set of physical sensations that add up to an experience I recognize. It’s been a difficult day or two, and although I’ve adulted through it with considerable skill, generally, I’m quite human and there’s simply the possibility – leaning toward likelihood – that today it may all catch up with me. Can I make use of this awareness to treat myself well and gently, still get the day done, and perhaps dodge a meltdown, too? I guess I’ll find out as the day unfolds.

Well, sure. This.

Well, sure. This.

“Too much” is sometimes a thing to deal with. It’s not any more real than a lot of what I find myself mired in. “Too much” often reflects an unhealthy attachment to an outcome, or expectations that are unreasonable, or assumptions that are incorrect, piling up with circumstances that don’t bear that sort of emotional weight well. It’s that way today. A date with an acquaintance became a disappointment. The new job felt like a certainty, but fell through. A routine visit to a doctor becomes a referral to a specialist to rule out cancer – first. Disappointment adds to insecurity, which adds to worry, which adds to fear, which slowly becomes a soup of darker emotions, and a high risk of an emotional moment…or two…or some sort of meltdown. All very real. All very human. I could cash in my ticket for “a good cry” – haven’t done that, yet. As is so often said, it would probably do me good to just let go…once I can. Making a clear distinction between ‘balance’ (and treating myself well) and ‘repression’ (just sort of squashing everything down into a manageable presentation that seems appropriate to others) has huge value; hiding from my hurts doesn’t really work for me. “The way out is through” is real and meaningful today.

I have my ‘to do list’ for the day. I have events on my calendar. Purpose. A plan. I’ve also got this fragile vessel of flesh and bone to tend, and that’s rather non-negotiable for general wellness. I reconsider my list, move some things around, ensure that I keep a compassionate eye on myself today. I decide to trust my judgement – who knows me better than I do? – a meltdown today, you say? I think I have an opening on my calendar for that… if I must. lol Maybe later? Sometime after lunch? (Maybe not – that would be quite nice.) Either way, it won’t be necessary or useful to take it personally; I’m here for me.

Storms pass.

Storms pass.

Looking my concerns in the face eases them somewhat, at least for now. I sip my coffee, and start going down the list of things to do today. Today is a good day to be, and to do. 🙂

I woke at 3:00 am this morning. No reason for it as far as I could tell. Lately I’ve been feeling very fatigued, and my sleep was definitely disturbed by the recent hot weather. It’s cooler again, now, for the time being. Yesterday I powered through the fatigue of recent days and the headache that I woke with, mostly fueled by the emotional energy of excitement, having accepted a suitable job offer. I crashed hard, pretty early, after enjoying the evening with my partner. This morning, I woke at 3:00 am, after only 6 hours of sleep. I wanted to go back to sleep, but sleep was having nothing to more to do with me, this morning. It was sufficiently clear that sleeping was concluded I simply got up, and made my coffee.

Before dawn the only glow is in the art on the walls, not the sky beyond the window.

Before dawn the only glow is in the art on the walls, not the sky beyond the window.  “Without Substance” 11″x 14″ acrylic on canvas w/glow 2016

So, it’s back to the day-to-day grind of ‘gainful employment’… if I sound less than enthusiastic, it’s only because I don’t define the quality of my life by whether or not I am doing work for someone else in exchange for money. I enjoy my leisure time, and certainly there is enough I’d like to do with my time to fill all of it quite nicely without giving any of it away.  On the other hand, the offer I accepted is a very good move in a new direction, and I am genuinely stoked about that. Balance. I am also not being rushed back into the workforce; I’ll have a couple more weeks off before I get back to commuting.

My thoughts are interrupted by a cat complaining outside my window. I don’t have a cat, myself, so I know it isn’t mine. The plaintive wails are not those of pain or suffering as much as a call for companionship. I am on the edge of the park, and there is a lot of wildlife. It isn’t unusual to see a neighbor’s cat patrolling along the edge of the tall grass that separates the residential community from the park itself, but less interesting than the other visitors. Occasionally, raccoons wander up to the patio at dawn, or at dusk. Possums, too. Squirrels are plentiful, as are rabbits (though I don’t see them as often).  There are nutria, and beavers. The beavers are reclaiming trails and swaths of park, marsh, and meadow, by damming the creek here and there, causing flooding in areas that were once planned around human traffic. I’ve heard coyotes, but haven’t seen any. I spotted a young bob cat a bit less than a year ago, but haven’t seen it since construction began and ended in that area. There are herons, cranes, eagles, and hawks, and all manner of small woodland, marshland, and meadow birds. There are crows by the dozens, and woodpeckers are common. I smile, recalling happy hours sitting on my meditation cushion at the patio door, watching a sunrise, or the birds at the feeder. I yield to the bliss of this moment of contentment and contemplation. Right now, in this one singular moment, I don’t need more. This is enough.

The sky is beginning to lighten. The clock counts off the minutes, and the day advances. No headache this morning. No back pain for the time being. A rare pain-free morning? An unexpected bonus. It’s even a Friday without plans, aside from one new-job-related errand I will run later today. I feel myself relax, really relax. Was it stress that woke me, finding me wide awake and alert, so early? I yawn. 4:30 am? Why am I even awake? As I relax, sleepiness creeps over me. Seriously? I just finished my coffee…! I turn the idea of going back to bed over in my head… no reason not to…although I am already awake, already caffeinated, and already alert and active…Am I really sleepy, or tired enough to sleep more? Puzzled over the wave of sleepiness that hit me as I finished my coffee, and unsure what to do about it, I decide on meditation, next. Regardless, it’s a day with a pleasant start. That’s enough. The rest of it I’ll fill out with verbs, and see where it goes. 🙂

This morning I woke wanting very much to write, while also feeling quite… directionless. Uninspired. I considered that awhile, and spent some time thinking over the events of the previous day. It’s still quite early. I slept well, deeply, and dreamlessly. I woke with a smile. Since then, anxiety has come and gone, and also a bit of queasiness, a headache, and restlessness. I’m not ill, and there’s nothing actually wrong; this is often what I put myself through when I am excited about something, and yesterday’s interview went that well.  A couple years ago, the end result would have been the complete destruction of a lovely day, more than likely, fueled by excitement I didn’t realize was excitement, and carried forward on the back of raw – if misinterpreted – emotion. I’d have been on edge, unaware of why, and prone to over-reacting and taking things personally. This morning, I am grateful for the improvement in emotional resilience and the reduction in volatility that I have experienced since I began practicing meditation, and practicing more mindfulness, more often.

It’s a cool gray morning, as if the sky would like to just ignore all the recent hot weather and pretend summer has not yet arrived. In this part of the country, at this time in Earth’s life, this is what summer is like. I am smiling, enjoying the cool morning, cloudy sky and all. I pay for the pleasure in a small way; the cooler weather aggravates my arthritis, which hasn’t been bothering me while the weather was quite summery and hot. I think about Fresno, and other hot places – life is very different in hot places, and I pause to really understand for a moment that in choosing this lovely climate as a full-time resident, I am also choosing to endure more pain. Choice is a funny thing, isn’t it? I think I am making one sort of choice, but often the choice I am making is also other sorts of choices bundled together… there is benefit in being more aware of that, more of the time. 🙂

Change is a verb - and also an outcome. Where does the path lead?

Change is a verb – and also an outcome. Where does the path lead?

My thoughts take a new direction. I’m okay with that. I’ve the day ahead of me to explore my thoughts, to meditate, to study, to paint. I may be back to work fairly soon – these days of leisure are incredibly precious, and this morning I am appreciating their value greatly. Today is a good day to take care of me, to invest in the well-being of this fragile vessel and the creature of light residing within. 🙂