Archives for category: autumn

It’s been a lovely evening after an interesting day.  It’s been a day of ordinary pleasures and extraordinary love.  Good lattes, great conversations with people I love, moments of delight and respect, moments of wonder, moments of excitement, even a moment or two of complicated emotions I don’t really have words for at all.  Now, night has fallen. The household is quiet. Ahead of me, a few moments taking care of me; meditation, yoga, a shower, and some unmeasured time gazing at my aquarium before I sleep.  There is really no need to look back to see what is behind me, not right now. Now is simply…this quiet place, this quiet time.  I am not always this aware of how little assurance there really is of having one such beautiful moment of peace and contentment. I am aware, for now, how unwise it is to count on having this moment – or any one moment – of such specific pleasure.

Still… and it is ‘still’ right now… Still, this moment is this peaceful, and I am content. Quite content. It’s very nice. I’d be happy to feel this way a lot more than I generally do.  I’m here right now, though, and I am enjoying it for what it is, without reservation.

There are so many small delights in this brief moment… the laptop… the MC Frontalot t-shirt… the knowledge  that so many people who matter so much to me are only as far away as this keyboard, and their own. In that sense, we’re almost touching… I hear the rain coming down again, and the cat creeping across the roof… and quiet.

Shhh… Here comes the future…

I’m having an unusually chill morning, without it being overly cheery.  I feel good, comfortable, reasonably balanced and satisfied with the day…only… there’s this undercurrent of…something else. Something sort of… a yearning for… more.

I put what little news I am still inclined to read aside before I got further than headlines, this morning, while I sipped my latte. Really there was no point continuing. I almost immediately felt that I was ‘being set up’ for an argument I didn’t care to have.  I ended it quite efficiently, and rather abruptly, when my consciousness replied with a firm ‘Who says?’ in response to headline after headline. I am clearly in no mood to be pressured by the news makers to think what they want me to think – and since I’ve no reason to be persuaded that the writers of ‘the news’ are any more expert than I am, myself, at reading some small number of purported facts and coming to an ill-informed conclusion, I think I’ll just go with my own. Some small amount of real research regularly reinforces my suspicion that most of ‘the news’ is not at all ‘news worthy’, and in fact is often well-crafted deceit masquerading as information. I’m skipping it today. Why? Because I said so. 😀

The other thing is the mildest taste of impending autumn in the morning air. We still have summer ahead of us, but this morning the temperature wasn’t quite summer, and the smell of watered lawns and dampened leaves hinted at cooler weather in months ahead.  It tends to find me a little nostalgic for things that have been… autumn is generally my ‘favorite season’. So many lovely autumn memories…

…crisp colorful leaves whispering shiff-shiff under my feet as I walk along a the lakeside path, and around through the trees on new route to work…

…a warm dry towel in the arms of a lover, as I arrived home from work on a rainy day…

…unexpected espresso and chocolates after a cold windy walk home on a day when I was feeling cross with the world…

…sleeping in and making love on a stormy November Sunday, listening to the wind howl around the eaves from the safety of my lover’s arms…

…picking out furniture in a new apartment, and the fun of making a home for the holidays happen out of boxes and packing materials…

…sharing tales of past misadventure with a dear friend, and seeing shared experience reflected back from his loving eyes, and laughing with him, or being astonished, as I listen to his tales, words shared between lovers in the security of total trust…

…watching the wind toss the trees from behind a glass patio door, from my lover’s warm embrace, listening to soft words of passion and love, and watching the rain fall, and feeling the irresistible pull of love…

There’s just something about autumn…I’m already yearning for it.  Thinking of love, thinking of romance, thinking of the sorts of day-dreamy wonders and delights that make my heart thump eagerly, wanting more.   I’m not so complicated; I enjoy love, loving, being loved in return.

If only I knew more, better, words to communicate my love… maybe in time for autumn?

...thinking of love, sipping on coffee.

…thinking of love, sipping on coffee.