My commute into the city this morning was pleasant and uneventful. I got gas. Got coffee. Arrived at the office a bit early – and that proved to have real value, since I’d managed to forget to slip my office fob and key into my coat pocket on my way out of the house! I didn’t lose my head over it – it wasn’t even a particularly stressful moment; I had the presence of mind to think to check with the building concierge and was able to check out a key and fob temporarily, to let myself in. (Being first on site has its downsides. lol) Turned out to be just as unremarkable as it sounds.

I sat down to my computer and skimmed my email, and Slack notifications, and answered the most time-sensitive items straight away, then went to make coffee – only to discover that the weekend cleaning crew had jammed the door on the coffee machine, so… no fancy machine-made coffee this morning. I’m drinking instant. LOL I’m not too proud for that, and hey, it reminds me how fortunate I truly am, so I sip my instant coffee quite contentedly as I catch up on emails and whatnot that piled up over the days I was out of the office. Easy. Routine. Within minutes I’m sufficiently caught up for the day to feel like an absolutely ordinary Monday. Win.

It’s hard to measure the impact of anxiety on a day that begins with “catching up” after being out of the office. I can remember a time when my unmanaged anxiety would have had me spun up before I ever sat down to look over my email, and prone to reactively responding without thoroughly reviewing whole threads to see what had already been well-supported, eventually spending some notable portion of an entire week aggressively pounding out replies to things via email that might have been better handled (and more skillfully) after a moment of real consideration, and maybe a pause to reflect, instead of churning out new replies to haphazard earlier replies, and breathlessly dashing from meeting to meeting feeling like I was on the edge of losing my mind. That’s no way to live (or work), and certainly tends to undermine any restorative restful recreational hours that had preceded the shitstorm of “catching up”. It can be done more gently, and with greater presence and thoughtfulness. 😀 So… that’s what I do now. lol

It took me about an hour to fully catch up from taking a long weekend. Not too bad. I end the hour with a thorough understanding of what I missed while I was out, and what new action items are on my plate. My time is planned. My work feels supported. I know where I need to put my attention, now. This feels pretty comfortable.

…And all that in an hour after a long weekend…

The weekend was lovely and restful. The homecoming was comfortable, and warm, and welcoming, and I feel very loved (I hope my Traveling Partner does, too). I’m looking forward to ending the work day and maybe cooking up a stir fry after work, or some other properly home-cooked healthy meal. I feel refreshed and restored, and full of energy (at least for now, at the start of the work day). I sip my coffee and smile, hoping my Traveling Partner is getting the rest he needs.

The sun rises on a gray rainy day. The sky lightens to a soft featureless pale gray, and rain spatters the office windows. “Nothing to see here.” I think to myself. I sigh and think back to the sea breezes and waves, and the gulls floating on the air currents just beyond the balcony. It already seems “so long ago”. I laugh at my mortal foolishness, and begin again.