Archives for posts with tag: i need a nap

I woke from a restless interrupted sleep earlier than I’d have liked to, and feeling very little sense of being “rested”. My dreams disturbed me. My wakefulness, whether caused by noisy neighbors lacking any sense how loud their car stereo sounds at 1:22 am, or the persistent whine of a freight train paused on the siding on the other side of the park, or the contents of my own dreams, rendered the night more or less pointless from the perspective of resting. I woke in pain, too, as stiff as a tiny wooden artist’s figure, new from the box. My head aches.

Beyond the patio, the meadow and marsh are hidden by a dense mist that suggests something mysterious, even sinister, beyond. It’s unlikely there’s anything legitimately amiss anywhere out there in the park besides litter left carelessly behind, and walkways covered in ice where there would usually be a puddle. The mist itself doesn’t seem at all sinister or hazardous, it’s just a mist, a foggy morning, a new day… but the obscured view puts my imagination into overdrive making something of nothing. I startle myself with my own reflection twice, from across the room, thinking someone is looking in at me from fairly nearby. The power of my imagination increases when I am not well-rested, and I am less well-defended against misinformation, influence, or deception. (Is that what happened, America? Where we all just that damned sleep-deprived?)

As the sky continues to lighten, I see that it snowed a bit more during the night; the meadow and the patio furniture are dusted with it. With daylight, the meadow mist is more distinct, and a firmer boundary between what is obvious, and what is accepted but unseen, a gray backdrop not yet painted with scenery. I watch the morning in the park develop like a Polaroid.

If we take time to see it, the view is continuously changing.

The view is continuously changing. We don’t always notice.

Today is a good day to take care of the woman in the mirror, and this fragile vessel, and to be mindful that lacking the rest I need, my awareness and thinking may be colored or distorted in unpredictable ways. Today is a good day to check assumptions, confirm expectations, and take my time, mindful of the weather – and aware that weather changes. Today is a good day to approach every interaction with consideration; I am not the only person who didn’t sleep well last night, who hurts, or feels headache-y. We are each having our own experience. Today is a good day to make the choices that make it a good one. 🙂

Not much has changed in the world, since my last post. I missed a couple of days, sick; not that terribly horrible ill sort of sickness that results in real misery, I just felt incredibly weak, and had a bad headache, then found myself sleeping round the clock and very fatigued. I woke feeling fine this morning. It did result in a bit of a break from the internet – and the world.

This morning I took time to catch up: Facebook, email, forums I read, blogs, all the stuff 21st century connected sorts might find themselves falling behind on while away.  I try not to be disappointed.

Very little changes in a day or two, despite how much change there is, generally speaking.  People still limit themselves with their assumptions. Politicians still tell lies. Industries still lobby for favors from government. No one wants to pay taxes. People treat each other badly – in some cases even people they claim to love. People still seem inclined to insist that their way, their morals, their rules are the only truth, the only way, even in the face of considerable evidence that many ‘ways’ work out just fine, and that many ‘truths’ are just more pretty words.

On the other hand, the internet is also still filled with cute pictures of kittens, puppies, and children. Lovers still love. There are some damned fine recipes out there I have never tried. My amazing friends are still doing amazing things. There are still individuals and groups standing up for ‘the little guy’, and working to bring change, and improve lives. Archer exists. So does love. So does compassion. So does romance. Good seems as likely to triumph over evil as evil does over good – maybe that’s progress, or balance?

Another day, another experience, another moment to choose wisely, enjoy more, and live heartily. Spring is coming. I enjoy that, every year.

Fragrant blossoms at dawn.

Fragrant blossoms at dawn.