Archives for posts with tag: enjoy the journey
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Two Neat Columns

May 28, 2025 //
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I’m sipping my morning coffee thinking about how ludicrous it is that we so often seek to make everything fit into an “either/or” sort of arrangement – two neat columns, pro and con, or two clear choices for or against. I don’t think our human experiences are so tidy and clearly on one side or another of some dividing line. Not at all. We are creatures capable of depth and nuance of both thought and emotion. Our choices are often not so easy, and the problems we face more subtle and complex than a clear “yes/no” decision can resolve. We cheat ourselves and each other when we default to false dichotomies and make believe dilemmas – we often have many more choices on the vast menu of life’s Strange Diner than we take the time to consider.

…I consider our weird two party political system in the United States to be symptomatic of this very human challenge (in addition to being the only likely mathematical outcome of our current election system, regardless how many parties we may attempt to put in the mix). Human beings don’t seem to like complicated decision making at all. What a shame – we have such beautifully well-suited brains for such things. Seems like a waste of our potential as beings.

How are you wasting your potential today? Maybe that’s worth giving a moment of thought to? It’s your life, of course, and I’m not telling you what to do, just saying – you’ve got so much potential as a creature! What are you doing with that? What are you practicing? Where does your path lead?

What love looks like.

I spent time this weekend lingering over love and games with my Traveling Partner, who has been patiently re-teaching me to play cribbage. I enjoy cribbage. I played it with my grandfather. I played it when I was in a warzone (preferring it over pinochle or dominoes). My TBI gives me an irritating cognitive quirk; I don’t easily remember certain sorts of things, and the rules of card games are one of these. If I am not playing a particular game every day, the recollection of the game play and the rules quickly extinguishes, and I’ve got to start all over again the next time I go to play. It had been years since I’ve played cribbage. My Traveling Partner made us a lovely cribbage board. We’ve been playing relatively regularly for the past few days, and I’m enjoying it greatly. Oh, sure, at least for now I still need help figuring the points in a hand – cribbage is a relatively complicated card game – but I’m enjoying the time with my partner, and he with me, and it’s time well-spent. I am grateful he is so patient with me as I relearn a game I once knew so well.

A rose blooming in my garden. A beautiful metaphor.

I spent time this weekend lingering in the garden, enjoying the roses that are blooming, and fussing over the plants the deer have nibbled on. I weeded, and I watered, and I sat in the sunshine. Also time well-spent.

62 soon. Life is significantly less complicated – and less “exciting” – than I once expected it would be (though it often still feels like a lot to manage), and I’m not at all disappointed by that. lol Like a lot of other things, “excitement” is somewhat over-rated (and things are generally complicated enough to feel bothersome), and I greatly prefer joyful contentment, sufficiency, and the kind of broad perspective that allows me room to understand and appreciate others. We’re each having our own experience, and I really don’t have the time to bother with being annoyed by everyone about everything or wallowing in made up drama. lol I do like things “easy”. These mortal moments are so finite and precious.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I’ve got a couple appointments today, and it’s a busy workday, and there are errands to run on the way home, and… when the hell would I also find time to enjoy “excitement”? Good grief, a pleasant generally routine life is plenty busy already, isn’t it? I sip my coffee and smile to myself. This is a nice moment right here. Good for self-reflection and new beginnings. Good for gratitude and love. Good for putting some thought into decisions to be made and things to be done. There’s no need to rush, or force everything through a filter that reduces it all to either/or, this-or-that, yes/no, pro or con… I have time to think things through thoroughly, to understand more of my life more deeply, in spite of that ticking clock. I have time for myself before I begin again.

There’s time to pause for flowers, to water our gardens, to chase our dreams.
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Categories Allegories, Anxiety, Brain Injury, breathe, forgiveness, Free Will, gardening, gratitude, Healthy Living, inspiration, joy, Love, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, Roses, Spring, The Art of Being, turning 60

May Day

May 1, 2025 //
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I stepped onto the now-open seasonal trail with a smile, feeling light-hearted. A dense bank of fog is clinging to the ground in low places, even now, well past sunrise, and after my walk is over. It was quite lovely, a bit chilly, and interrupted by pauses to look at wildflowers – and sneezes. The air is filled with scents of Spring.

Another sunrise

I slept rather poorly and woke earlier than necessary, but what a lovely day for an early morning walk along the seasonal marsh trail! The trees are green again, and the meadow flowers are blooming. Beautiful!

Oaks on the hillside, fog bank beyond.

By the time I got back to the car, the trailhead parking lot was full. It’s a work day, but clearly not for everyone. It’ll be quite rare to have the trail to myself until sometime in autumn, most likely. I consider that only briefly. It doesn’t really matter, generally. It’s one of those peculiar luxuries I have little control over, and I am content to appreciate it when I do get to experience that beautiful solitude. I yawn, watching the sunlight change angles as it passes through a clump of meadow flowers. I’ve got an errand to run, then it’s home to enjoy the day with my Traveling Partner.

It is enough to enjoy the moment as it is.

I glance at the clock. It’s time to begin again.

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Categories Allegories, breathe, gratitude, Healthy Living, joy, Love, meditation, Mindfulness, Moments, Oregon Trails, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, solo hiking, Spring, The Art of Being

Choices and Chances

August 22, 2024 //
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I’m waiting for the sun. This feels almost like fall. The gate at the trailhead is still closed and the sky is dark, not quite daybreak. Beyond the scattered trees silhouetted darkly against a cloudy sky, illuminated faintly by the glow of suburbia beneath, the lights of commuter traffic twinkle as they pass, like a string of sparkling gemstones. The air is mild, and almost warm. Aside from the passing cars and my tinnitus, it’s quiet.

Beginning again.

Yesterday was a good day, followed by a pleasant evening spent as a family. Time well-spent, in good company. My Traveling Partner is seeming “more himself” as he heals, and I feel encouraged and reassured by this. His kindness and geniality are returning as he heals and it’s good to see. I can’t truly know how hard he has struggled to hold on to his sense of self throughout this injured time, but I do know it hasn’t been easy, and he has suffered greatly.

As for the Anxious Adventurer, he’s walking a difficult path himself, for different reasons. Embracing change is hard, and comes with challenges of its own. New environment. New expectations. New rules. Pretty much every detail of his day-to-day thrown into chaos, however briefly in the bigger picture of an entire lifetime, but nonetheless a lot to learn and to change. It hasn’t been easy to adapt, that much is clear to any bystander.

Me? Yeah, me too. This period of adjustment has been hard. Complicated by the very things that made it desirable to make these changes at all. Being human is sometimes very complicated. I don’t particularly prefer cohabitation, which I discovered rather late in life, and that is my challenge and also my opportunity for growth. Challenge accepted? I so greatly love and enjoy my Traveling Partner that I am fairly willing to make changes to deepen our bond and enjoy our mortal lifetime together, in spite of my nature. Funny creatures, we human beings. We’ll do so much for love.

… Things got ridiculously tense and unpleasant for several days and I have been unhappy with the state of things…

I took time to write down what I really need to comfortably cohabitate and thrive, at my Traveling Partner’s request. He looked it over and agreed that my “house rules” looked like a healthy way to live together as a family, if everyone “buys in” and does their part. We shared the rules with the Anxious Adventurer, who gave them serious thought. We discussed them all together, before everyone explicitly agreed that this looks like a good approach and that we’re each willing to do our part. The discussion was a beautiful “proof of concept”, itself. I’m still coasting on the resulting feeling of shared commitment and understanding. Nice moment. I feel heard and supported.

Humans are still human. We’re each working our asses off to be better human beings than we were yesterday. We’ll become what we practice. We can count on incremental change over time. This feels like a very pleasant place to be standing in life. It’s still work, and no doubt our results may vary.

Daybreak comes. I hit the trail feeling light-hearted and contented. Another nice moment. I smile as I walk. No fancy colorful sunrise this morning; the sky is gray and cloudy, threatening rain. I’m fine with it. It’s not raining right now. The air is sweet with the scent of wildflowers and meadow grasses. I’ve got the trail to myself this morning. On the other side of my walk, a stop at the store on my way home. Life being lived.

I walk on, grateful to be walking, still. I breathe, grateful for the breath of life. My heart is filled with love and the thought of my partner, and I am grateful for the opportunity to love and be loved in return. I walk and keep on walking. Once I reach the end of the trail, I’ll begin again.

…It seems a lovely morning for living life…

Where does this path lead?
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Categories Allegories, Brain Injury, breathe, forgiveness, Free Will, gratitude, Healthy Living, Love, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Oregon Trails, pain, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, solo hiking, Summer, The Art of Being, The Big 5

Softly, and Easy on My Heart

January 26, 2023 //
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I’m sipping my second coffee and smiling. It’s a lovely morning. I woke from a strange (and amusing) dream that had been influenced by recent videos my Traveling Partner and I had watched together. He made an appearance in my dream. We laughed together over coffee when I shared the details (and did a fairly good impression of my partner’s “exasperated-still-loving-you” tone). It was a wonderful start to the morning just to share conversation and coffee together. 🙂 Ordinary stuff – but so so sweet.

…Don’t forget to enjoy the small things; sometimes they matter most.

The morning is still dark. The weather is relatively mild (especially so for January, but, you know, the climate is changing). I look over my “to-do list” for tasks I may have been dodging – maybe get one or two of those done today? I smile softly to myself. Mornings like this make everything that follows feel easy.

I pause my writing to do a bit of travel research I’d promised to take care of for my partner.

I glance at the time as I hit send on the email… already time to begin again. 😀

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Categories Allegories, breathe, gratitude, Healthy Living, Love, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, The Art of Being

Good Times

January 4, 2023 //
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This too shall pass? I know it’s real – I sometimes wish it weren’t.

I’m sipping coffee on a pleasant Wednesday. No stress. Just a “regular work day”… only, like I said, no stress. It’s nice. I’m in the office today, mostly because I’ve got an afternoon appointment at the VA, and it’s more convenient this way. Partly because it’s Wednesday… which has turned out to be a first rate day to come in to the office, then run errands on the way home that would be out of the way under other circumstances (but are quite convenient driving back from this location). The morning unfolds gently. I’m first into the office. I catch up on things, make a pot of coffee for colleagues who will arrive shortly, and pour a cup for myself. The cityscape beyond the window by my desk is just beginning to show hints of daylight – the sky is gray and overcast. One day of many, so far a good one.

…This too shall pass… it sounds ominous on a good day. LOL It’s just as real as pointing it out on a difficult day, though. I let the aphorism remind me to slow down and really savor this pleasant morning. Enjoy the journey. Take time to take time. Breathe, exhale, relax – and let the smile on my face reflect the contentment and joy in my heart.

What the hell, though? What’s with the merriment ‘n shit this morning? No idea. I just feel pretty good. Pain? Sure. Managed. Headache? Yeah, that too, and it was what woke me shortly before my alarm would have gone off. Rough. Still a good morning. Appointment anxiety about the CT scan later? Not much, no, it’s just an appointment to get an image done. There’s nothing much to fuss over, and work is comfortably planned and organized in front of me. That appointment, from this vantage point, is a fairly distant concern of little consequence. So, I sip my coffee with a smile. It’s enough.

Don’t forget to pause and really take note of the good times. Small joys matter, too. Maybe more than our biggest fears and stressful moments. “Filling my tank” on these pleasant experiences allows me to become more resilient in the face of less ideal circumstances. (This has always been true, although there was a time when I did not know it, and missed the opportunity to nurture and support myself from within.)

I load a playlist and begin again.

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Categories Allegories, breathe, Free Will, gratitude, Healthy Living, inspiration, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, The Art of Being
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