Archives for category: gardening

Cold morning. I woke a little early to quiet darkness, happy to maybe catch a glimpse of the full moon, but thinking mostly about primroses. I dress and head to the trailhead.

A first glimpse of the full moon – first one of the Spring.

Yesterday I planted strawberries in the flower beds, thinking they’d make a good ground cover. My Traveling Partner surprised me by having a decidedly strong negative opinion on that idea. He’d put a lot of work into the lawn, and he was worried about the strawberries spreading into the lawn and taking over. (Seems less than likely to me… but my partner knows plants.) Although I’m willing to watch for that and take preventative measures, the truth is, I’m also somewhat lazy, and prone to letting shit fall behind if I lack sufficient energy for the task. I see how under such circumstances, strawberries could become…weeds.

Rather than cause my beloved lasting stress, I propose replanting those strawberries in their own raised bed on the west side of the house, instead. He likes that idea much more. I’ll do that later today. The Anxious Adventurer helps out by assembling an inexpensive raised bed for that purpose from a kit I purchased at the garden store. (I could have done that, true enough, but I’m notorious for doing a pretty half-assed “good enough” job on such things, and both my Traveling Partner and his son like to see things built well.) I’m grateful for the help.

Those bare expanses of border around and between the blueberries? I decide I’ll fill those in with primroses, which are doing very well at the other end of the bed and needing to be divided as it is. Primroses, though? Primroses?

Pink primroses thriving in my garden.

The primroses are a story of their own, I suppose. I never had “a thing” for them before I moved into this house. They’ve grown on me as they grow in my garden. They were just a couple of garden store primroses added to the front flower bed by the previous owner for last minute “curb appeal” when the house was put on the market. There they were. Blooming. lol Just some random flowers, added to the edge of the bed, visible each time I left the house. Unimpressively commonplace, I used to think. Over five years those three original primroses have become large beautiful clumps, well-established and thriving, and blooming like crazy from the earliest Spring days well past the end of summer. They do so well, and they’ve got such fun bold colors, I’ve added a couple more, on some whim, each Spring. Those are spreading too. Don’t know why I thought strawberries were a necessary addition – just divide the damned primroses! Welcome them and take them seriously!

So, now I have what feels like a proper plan in mind and I’m impatient to proceed. My Traveling Partner’s lawn is under no threat from the primroses, the strawberries will do well in a raised bed protected from slugs, and I get flowers and strawberries. Win.

It’s hard to get a clear picture, sometimes it’s better to simply observe. It’s a metaphor.

I watch the moon set over the marsh, and add a reminder to read up on primroses. I really don’t know much about them. I guess knowing more makes sense. They’re pretty. Do they have history? Where are they native? Are there wild varieties? I know so much about roses. I know so little about primroses. Are there other colors and shapes that might look good in my garden, too? What else is there to know? I smile to myself. Such a simple thing to give me so much joy.

Where are you finding simple joy? What do you do to cultivate that in your life?

Begin again.

A mist has developed on the marsh, clinging to the ground, thick in low places. It’s a cold morning. I look down the trail. The full moon attracted quite a few early risers to the trail this morning. I lace up my boots and grab my cane. The clock is ticking and it’s time to walk the path I’ve chosen. Another day, another beginning.

The woman in my reflection stares pensively outward at some thought that isn’t a visible detail. My coffee sits nearby, untouched, sweating condensation into a pool on the desk. I should do something about that, I think, when I notice. The news annoys me. How can people – especially people of means and good fortune – be so incredibly petty, cruel, inconsiderate, and hateful? I don’t “get it”. I don’t think I actually understood that crap when it filled my own head. Untested assumptions, bullshit I was taught, terrible habits and so much ignorance… I definitely don’t understand it now.

…Feels like we’re all standing on quicksand somehow, these days, only very few people seem to be aware of it… or willing to find something firm to stand on…

I sigh to myself, and stand fast on my personal commitment to be the best version of myself that I can be, knowing what I know, seeing the world as I do, and having the skills I have. I’m certain to fail myself – and others – now and then. I’m very human, but I’m going to do my best to be a better human being today than I was yesterday, because it actually fucking matters. It matters every day, and in every interaction.

What about you? What are you doing to “make the world a better place”, you know, for everyone? You don’t need to tell me, just do the verbs. We become what we practice.

G’damn, I’m so tired this morning. Nightmares all night of strange terrifying things – hallways that never end. Doors that won’t unlock. Empty shelves and people dying of starvation, disease, and fire. Crawling terrified and silently beneath a shower of bullets in the darkness. I woke up choking – it’s just seasonal allergies that last bit, but it was an unpleasant way to wake up from a dream of chemical warfare and endless night. The commute to work was weird, too. The traffic going the opposite direction was quite dense and seemed to be moving faster than usual. There was no traffic at all going my way. I had the road to myself. It was so strange and surreal, for just a second I wondered if there had been some disaster or evacuation that I was unaware of, ahead of me. It was a chilling thought.

“The Nightmare City” 8″ x 10″ acrylic on canvas w/glow

I’m mired in the gloom lingering from a night spent in The Nightmare City. I sip my coffee and work on letting that go.

Daybreak comes, and the sky beyond the window is ordinary enough, some blue, some clouds. There’s pleasant Spring weather in the forecast, however ugly the news is, however tragic and ridiculous our government has become. It’s a strange juxtaposition of circumstances and for the moment I miss my Traveling Partner and the safety of home, more than I can stand. I’d rather be in my garden, planting and weeding, and paying no mind to the world that often disappoints me so very much. Too much death, too much greed, too much warfare, and g’damn – too many terrible petty hateful people. I’ll choose my own path, thanks, and go a different direction. Not because I have to, but because I can – and it seems a choice worth making.

What will you choose? Where does your path lead? It’s time to begin again…

Prices have been going up noticably since the election, and longer. They rarely go down. Some of this is due to human greed. Sometimes it’s about demand for a limited supply. Sometimes it’s about chaos and uncertainty, and regulatory bullshit. There’s always someone making money off of rising prices, though it may not be who we assume it is.

Recent price of blueberries. I am waiting impatiently for the blueberries in my garden.

I’m as frustrated and angry as anyone else over the weird petty and destructive policy making coming out of Washington DC these days. 61 (almost 62) and I’ve never seen the bullshit quite so deep. We have failed to elect a competent, skillful, effective government (unless your goal was to bring about the decline of Democracy altogether). It’s pretty horrific. I’m not sure what everyday folks were expecting – or how they were played so easily by power-seeking billionaires.

…Still…

Life goes on. Mostly pretty comfortably routine, moment to moment. I’m not personally reliant on the market fluctuations, beyond how such things affect the prices of groceries and gas (and they definitely do). I have been spending less with greater care, like a lot of people. It’s necessary. Instead of steak, we have chili. Instead of dining out, we cook at home (which is healthier anyway). Instead of going to a distant specialty market for some interesting ingredient I can’t get locally, I use a recipe that doesn’t require exotic ingredients at all. Choices are being made every day. I’m still choosing to live well, as much as I can, but I’m choosing to do so more affordably. It’s clearly necessary, and I may as well get really good at it. Soon enough things like oranges and bananas may become seasonal, coffee may become a luxury for the wealthy, and dining out impractical due to the lack of restaurants still in business.

… Sorry. I’m being a bit gloomy, eh? I’m in a ferocious amount of pain today and it may be coloring my thinking. I’m just saying, maybe it’s time to embrace simpler things and more affordable pleasures, disconnect from the Internet and social media, go outside, and exist in the real world among real people, and be less dependent on so many systems thoroughly outside my own control? I do remember a life before the Internet existed at all… A time when bad news didn’t travel as far or as fast, and it was more difficult to deceive or influence an entire population. I mean… I think I remember that world. Certainly there were fewer billionaires and they weren’t straight up buying the fucking government for their own benefit.

I stretch and sigh, and remind myself to be here, now, and let that shit go.

An excellent pot of chili, and an affordable hearty meal.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I think about the romaine lettuce and bok choy growing in the garden. I think about the radishes, carrots, and spinach sprouting in neat rows, and the onions and leeks standing tall in their corner of the garden. I feel myself relax. What matters most? How can I best care for hearth and home and family? It’s important to do more than exist in difficult times. It is helpful to act, to choose, and to create the life I want to live and the world I’d like to live in. Yes, there are surely assholes, nitwits, and idiots literally everywhere, but I don’t have to hang out with them, or allow my life to become about them. I’m free to choose differently.

It’s raining this morning. Not a hard rain, just occasional sprinkles, but the wind is blowing like those rain drops have places to be, right now. lol I don’t let it stop me from getting a walk in, this morning, in spite of the pain I’m in. This morning it’s both the headache and the arthritis. I deal with it, and walk on, grateful to walk another mile. I walk with my thoughts to my halfway point and stop for a little while, to write and reflect and watch dawn become a new day.

I think about ignorance and failure for some little while, and ponder all the many things I don’t (and possibly can’t) know. It’s a good time to buy books and read more. I often find inspiration and even real hope between the pages of a book. My own journey suggests that reading may be one of the most valuable skills a human primate can develop and use. I’m proud of the small library of excellent books I’ve accumulated over time. I’ve read nearly all of them, with some exceptions (some of the books my Traveling Partner owns are distinctly outside my areas of interest), but I cherish even those; they represent more to learn and know. They are well-chosen, well-written and purposeful.

I smile to myself. My book wishlist is huge. I definitely don’t have space for all of them, but… I’ll continue to add to the books I own. How to cook things. How to make things. How to survive things. How to garden and how to fight tyranny. How to think and how to paint. How to listen and how to love, and books about why all those things matter. I sigh contentedly thinking about books and gardening, and what it means (to me) to live a good life. The wind blows, tossing the trees from side to side. The dense gray clouds overhead don’t appear to move at all, they are a smooth homogeneous mass other than the strip of blue sky peaking through near the eastern horizon.

I finish my writing, and get to my feet. The clock is ticking, and it’s time to begin again.

The soft drizzle stopped at daybreak and I stepped out of the car onto the trail. This local trail passes alongside a big parking lot, empty at this hour, and through a grove of oaks trees, wrapping around vineyards, and curving around those to head along a creek in a forested space. It’s a pleasant walk, partially lit, mostly paved. This walk is quite local and convenient, managing to feel remote in the very early morning, due to the solitude. Dog walkers and other people getting some miles in generally don’t begin showing up until well past sunrise. It’s nice to have the trail to myself.

One moment of many.

I walk with my thoughts until I reach the bench at my preferred halfway point. I sit awhile to listen to the birds, and watch daybreak become dawn. The dense clouds overhead are moving by quickly and there is a hint of a breeze. The blue gray of the clouds hint at more rain, and the bits of blue sky that show through tease me with the potential for afternoon sunshine, later. I sigh quietly, contentedly, and for a moment I am lost in thoughts of my garden and forgetting the pain I am in. It’s a chilly morning and my arthritis is already complicating my experience. I don’t focus on it, and for the moment it fades into the background.

It’s a Monday morning. A work day, still. I frown, wondering how some people can view life through a lens that defines good quality of life as “employed”, unable to understand how much more there is to living than working to acquire enough money just to pay for the basics. lol I’d certainly rather be sipping my coffee and planning some other sort of day. I’ve got plenty of things to do that aren’t work at all!

… I’d rather be in the garden, or reading a book, or painting, or laughing over coffee with a friend, or catching up on the housework, or enjoying the companionship of my beloved Traveling Partner, or walking miles on new trails, or visiting distant old friends, or sipping coffee in the garden listening to birdsong, or just about anything else besides swapping hours of my life and energy for a fucking paycheck… I’d have retired in 2001 (at 38), if I could have afforded to…

…Hell, I’d retire today, if this paycheck weren’t 100% required to pay the bills. 😂 I wouldn’t hesitate for a minute; I’ve got plenty of other things to do that bring me immense joy (they just don’t happen to pay the mortgage, gas, or for groceries).

My Traveling Partner pings me a greeting. It’ll be nice to work from home today. Maybe I’ll get some time in the garden on a break? A soft rain begins to fall (again) and I’m grateful to have worn my rain poncho. I chuckle to myself as I get to my feet. The clock is ticking and it’s time to begin again.

Contentment and resignation are very different things. I sip my coffee, wondering how much the price of coffee will go up, and whether I will find it worth it to pay that price, or whether I may prefer to give up coffee? It’s an interesting thought. I think, too, about my garden and the joy of being in the garden, among the flowers, veggies, and herbs. It is an endeavor that brings me great joy, connection to my life and self, and deep satisfaction (and occasional frustration). My little house in the ‘burbs isn’t fancy, but I’m fortunate to have this place to call home. Am I “settling” for something that is less than ideal? Maybe, but it’s enough (for most values of “enough”), at least it is for me. That’s something.

My garden view from a favorite chair.

I don’t live a life of “affluence”. Do I need to? I don’t think so. I have “enough”. More than enough, mostly. Would more really be better? Have I “settled”, or am I simply content with things as they are, more or less? What more do I need beyond the garden I’ve got and the sunny days ahead? I smile to myself thinking about the new raised beds my Traveling Partner has agreed to build for me. They will be a lovely addition to my veggie garden, and an opportunity to grow more tasty fresh produce. I’m still learning, always, and I think a bit more room to grow is a good next step. I think about the flower beds, and whether to split up the oldest primroses and separate the clumps to plant more of them further along the walkway. It’s an idea I enjoy. My Traveling Partner suggested it, and he so rarely involves himself with the life of flowers that I’m inclined to go ahead with that out of pure joy and appreciation that he made the suggestion.

…It’s almost time to plant summer flowers…

…It’s always time to pull some weeds…

Is the world in chaos? Sure. Yes. Definitely. The garden brings me a lot of peace and joy in spite of that. I plan to spend more time there. Healthy work with lovely results. The roses are doing well, and I’m eager to see them bloom again. The lavender is taking hold and already putting out new green. Radishes, carrots, spinach, peas, and chard are coming up – the first Spring seedlings. Potted flowers are sprouting, too. Spring brings me so much hope.

A friendly visitor to my garden.

I sip my coffee and think my thoughts of the garden in Spring time. I smile thinking about the blue jay that showed up the very first Spring that we had the raised veggie bed. He was young that year, and so curious about what I was up to. He has come back every year, and sometimes stops on the edge of the bed, while I work, to eye my activities curiously, and follow me from branch to branch among the trees as I work in the flower beds. He comes quite close, and sometimes talks to me (I don’t speak blue jay, but I’m not sure he cares at all). When I turn up grubs in the veggie bed, I leave them out for him. He politely waits until I turn my back to eat them, and no longer flies away with each one, he just stands right there near me, so long as I am careful not to move too quickly or make too much noise. He delights me.

Life in my garden – it doesn’t feel like I’m “settling” at all. There are verbs involved. Work to be done. My results vary. My plans don’t always have the result I intended. Still, there are flowers there, and hope, and on a sunny Spring morning it’s hard to find anything wrong in the world, from the vantage point of the garden. It’s a nice resting place on life’s journey.

I sip my coffee and get ready to begin again…