Archives for category: inspiration

It’s the morning of the first day back in the office in a new year. Somehow, this particular day, each year that I’ve been a working adult, reliably feels very much more… significant (close enough) than other “first days” and new beginnings of various sorts. I’m aware it is a matter of subjective experience, my own notions, and context, nonetheless it feels “special”, in neither a specifically positive nor specifically negative way. It is one of the most obviously “this is what I make of it” days in my year, each year.

…Sometimes it is very hard to go back, and really feels like “going backward”.

…Sometimes it is easy to return to the job, and feels very promising.

Today? Today is a Thursday. 🙂

My experience reflects my choices.

I took some additional self-care steps this year, and built my holiday around some skillful choices in time management, and activities. One of those was to allow myself adequate travel and recovery time, instead of rushing myself to get back and also be in the office as of the day after New Year’s Day (you know, the 2nd of January). As it happens, I was so not up to working a shift yesterday, and although the resulting 2-day work week is so short that both days will be (most likely) both a bit long and very busy, I am ready for it, today.

I got to bed relatively early last night, still pretty fatigued from the holiday excitement, and slept soundly through the night. I woke up a bit early, and got up feeling pretty good. Very little pain, and only from all the usual unavoidable bullshit. I sip my coffee contentedly, ready to greet a new day and year. Today effectively restarts the last bit of routine life post-holiday; the job.

…I take a moment to appreciate that although I was “on call” the entire holiday, no one, apparently, needed to call me. Nice. 🙂

The new year will also be the starting point of a new schedule (for me) that should (ideally) allow me to improve on my self-care, by giving me a week day off into which I can schedule appointments and get some things done. Having to take time off of work for every medical appointment gets annoying fast, as well as being overly revealing of how much time I need to spend on that endeavor, which, from my perspective, is a rather personal matter that needn’t be a topic of office conversation. Aging already sucks enough. lol

I’m stalling. It’s time now…

Start where you are. Look toward the horizon you’d like to stand upon. Start walking.

It’s time to begin again.

Although I had intended to write over the long New Year’s holiday…

…I didn’t.

Interesting break from a great many routines. I took time to live life, to reflect on this life I live, to question my choices, gently, to consider new choices to come, to contemplate the path ahead, to let go of expectations, and to clarify assumptions. Productive lifetime in the company of friends, and my Traveling Partner. Solo moments, shared moments, moments of adventure, emotional moments, and a handful of moments of epiphany, all mingling with… moments of pure, lived lifetime. It was lovely.

It was also clearly missing something, but until the moment that 2018 expired, it was less than ideally clear to me what I thought might be missing…

…We really needed a piñata. Seriously. One that could be just beat to fucking death, and explode in a shower of trinkets, mementos, sweets, intoxicants, bits of wisdom gathered through the year, money, glitter and confetti. lol No kidding. I am considering making this a new New Year’s tradition at home. A piñata. 🙂 Something more lasting than a kiss, more visceral than a ball drop, a more powerful metaphor, something a bit physical. 😀 Who’s with me on this?

All of the routines that will remain routine have recommenced. A few got cut from the roster, being less than helpful, or too complicated, or driving more stress than they manage… changes over time mean choices over time, too.

Speaking of time, welcome to 2019. It’s time to begin again. What will you do to save the world?

The world awaits your choices. Your results may vary.

I am home for the day, preparing for the long holiday weekend ahead. Having a quiet cup of tea, vaping something pleasant tasting, and watching the vapor curl in wisps as the cloud breaks up as I exhale. “Vaping” is a verb now. I ponder the way language changes with the times. I wonder if things are still “on fleek” and if “fam” is still “lit”. I smile, breathe, relax; this is my time, my moment, and I am content with it just as it is, wedged between the shhh-shhh of commuter traffic at the edge of the driveway, and the chug-chug of the washing machine, down the hall. The noise doesn’t matter, this evening, and it is not disturbing this somehow-still-quiet moment.

I am thinking of “is” and of “isn’t”, and the year just finishing up, as I peer cautiously ahead to the year that is imminent. I am thinking rather carefully of “essence” and “essentials”, and hoping to stay on the path of sufficiency. Right now, at least, it is rather easy not being tempted by excess. I just don’t have the resources for that, and 2019 looks like a year that I will spend rebuilding reserves, planning with care, and being most particular to avoid wastefulness.

I catch my thoughts on a hook as they brush past a word – “essence”. Fancy. What is “essence”, really?

…I love the future. 😀

So… yeah… “the intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something, especially something abstract, that determines its character”. Essence. Got it. I ponder the word, and the idea of it for some minutes.

What “is” my “essence”? Is that a thing that I am? Have? Is it a state of being? A verb? An experience of self? A defining characteristic identified by others? Do I choose it? Chase it? Live it? Question it?

Is “what is my essence” simply a fancier, wordier, version of the lingering question “who am I”?

How would my “essence” influence my experience of life – or of self?

Are these questions that need asking, and answering, or is this a game?

Just questions tonight, I suspect, as I close in on the New Year. It’s a season of change, and of reflection. It is a season of choices, memories, and moments.

…the new year is a blank page…

I put questions aside, and make time for gratitude. The house is comfortable, tidy, and warm. The bills are paid. I have what I need, generally; I am fortunate. I reflect on good fortune, and the temptation to feel “deserving” or that this life is entirely “earned” on my own effort. Both the notion of being “deserving” and the notion of having gotten here “on my own” are illusions, nothing more, and I turn away from the thinking errors that bring me to those ideas. I’m fortunate. I’ve had a lot of lucky breaks. I’ve had help, encouragement, support – and all of that matters. I would not be “here”, had I been less fortunate, or if I had had to make this journey entirely without friend, or aid, all alone. I’d be somewhere quite different, and, perhaps, however grateful to be in that place, I might also be an entirely different human being, with a different understanding of myself, and different dreams, walking a different path, toward a different future.

That, too, I let go, as the twilight of winter evening slowly fades to the darkness of nightfall. No reason to become attached to notions in the darkness. Grateful and inquisitive – these seem worthy of being some part of my essence. Contentment, too. I smile, and make room to appreciate the journey, and the woman I have become over time.

Tomorrow, I’ll begin again. There is further to go. 🙂

Merry Giftmas, Humans! (Or not; your choice.)

I am seriously hoping each of you, out there in the world, are finding moments, and experiences, worthy of real joy, today. In spite of personal heartbreak, in spite of logistical or financial challenges, in spite of whatever baggage and bullshit you are lugging around for whatever reason, in spite of the turmoil in the world, in spite of the chaos and damage you have endured over time, in spite of petty resentments, erroneous assumptions, and being fully and wholly made of pure human… in spite of all of that, I hope you are merry today. Hell, I hope you are generally merry, as well. I hope you choose what delights you, more often than you choose whatever pisses you off most, or makes you sad, or hurts your heart… being human is not without its challenges. I hope you find merriment within the chaos and the hardship. I hope you make merry regardless of the sometimes unreasonably high level of bullshit and douche-baggery so common to human experience.

Why not choose it? Why not choose to lift yourself up, as often, as skillfully, and to whatever dizzying heights of merriment you can achieve? Doesn’t being content, and filled with practical simple joy, feel ever so much better than misery? We choose that too… for some reason, it’s a much easier choice (seems a bit unfair, but there it is; joy takes rather more practice than heartache).

It’s a lovely moment for joy. This one. Right here. Right now. Take a breath, and find your joy, if you’ve misplaced it. 🙂 Trust that the decision to let some minor aggravation go feels a bit better than letting it fester. Setting clear boundaries, kindly, but without equivocating, feels so much better than letting yourself be walked on. Clarifying assumptions, and clear expectation-setting feel much better than disappointment. Our honest authentic selves enjoying the honest authentic selves of those dear to us feels so much better than anxious pretense.

I’m just saying… Merry Giftmas, Humans. Choose wisely. ❤

It’s Giftmas Eve, and somewhere, someone is stressing over something. Too little time. Too little money. Too many bills. Too much drama. Too much heartache. Too little certainty. Too much pain. Too little opportunity. Something isn’t right, somewhere. I take a moment for silent well-wishes, and a moment of compassion and understanding; life can be hard, and good fortune can be fleeting.

If things are difficult right now, my best advice (you didn’t ask, but I’ve got it handy…) is beyond simple (in words): breathe, let go, begin again.

I know, I know. Your results will vary. There are verbs involved. It may take practice, and incremental change over time is painfully slow, and you’d like to feel better right now. Got it. It’s still going to be you making the choices, taking the actions, doing the work, enduring the slow improvements that come with changing behavior or thinking… And if you don’t make the choices, take the actions, do the work, and endure the slow improvements that come with changing your behavior or thinking, it’s pretty much certain that nothing actually changes, that you were hoping to see change. Waiting around for coincidental changes that just happen to meet your long-term needs is…um… less than effective. Not a best practice. You want change? Do the changing.

Taking time to relax in the holiday glow.

…Giftmas Eve… However you choose to celebrate your winter holidays, and whatever the quality of your experience, I wish you well this holiday season, and I wish you all the joy that could come of wise decision-making, authenticity in your relationships, and the willingness to be the person you most want to be. May the gifts under the tree amount to nothing at all in comparison to the love you experience in life, and the love you share.

I sit quietly, listening to my Traveling Partner breathing softly in the other room. Home for the holidays. 🙂 His presence has been my most enjoyed “present” so far.

I’m grateful, in this moment, to be content, and aware that I’m okay. Life is pretty good, generally, and the drama fairly sparse, and, while uncomfortable or less than ideal, also has pretty clear solutions. So… there’s that, and it’s enough.