I woke rested and feeling comfortable and awash in a feeling of contentment. I got through my morning routine without making some sort of loud noise. I made it to the trailhead before sunrise, but just after daybreak.
I caught a glimpse of Mt Hood and the beginning of a colorful sunrise.
It’s a beautiful morning. I sigh contentedly and lace up my boots. The trail is dim but not dark. There are little birds everywhere, and the air smells of flowers. I’ve got my cane, my camera, and this moment. It’s enough. There’s a work day ahead, but that’s later. I need to remember to water the garden, but that time is not now. I’ve got an appointment to keep in the afternoon, but that requires no attention from me, yet. It’s just me, this trail ahead of me, this moment, and a glimpse of the sunrise.
I grin happily to myself and grab my cane to get started. The clock is ticking and it’s time to begin. Again.
A colorful sunrise greeted me at the trailhead. The weather is mild, almost warm. The air is calm, and the pollen count is fairly high. My head is a little stuffy. The robins (and there are many) are quite loud as they call to each other.
Dawn of a new day.
It is a new day, filled with promise and opportunity, chances for success and for failure, and rich with choices. It’s also an utterly ordinary such day. The day begins well; I escaped my headache of yesterday. Definitely a good beginning.
I swap soft shoes for sturdy boots and grab my cane. I rarely walk any distance without it these days. I’m not bothered by that, it’s just a detail.
Colorful sunrise
I breathe, exhale, and relax, and set off down the trail. Lovely day for it, in spite of my stuffy sinuses, and irritated throat. Lots of flowers blooming now. I’ve taken allergy medication first thing, and it helps. I continue to enjoy the moment – and the flowers. The sunrise continues to evolve, the clouds shifting pink to salmon to peach and bold shades of orange. Quite a display. I pause frequently to enjoy the sight of it, and to snap pictures.
…It is worth all manner of bother and inconvenience and delays to pause for a beautiful sunrise; there’s no knowing how many we may see…
I walked and watched the sun rise, until I reached this not-quite-halfway spot. It has a better view than my usual stopping point. A row of trees is silhouetted against the sky. A wonderful baby blue morning sky begins to show between the colorful clouds.
I breathe exhale and relax, sitting awhile with my thoughts as the sun rises. I think ahead to later. I have it in mind to make breakfast for my Traveling Partner and the Anxious Adventurer and myself, a little later. A chubby raccoon slowly walks past, far enough from me to be unconcerned about my presence, near enough to be clearly visible. Somewhere nearby, a woodpecker makes his presence known.
Dawn becomes day, and it’s time to begin again. I get to my feet to finish my walking and turn towards the sun.
This morning my walk began at a familiar well-maintained trailhead. I walked west with the sunrise at my back. The weather is mild, clear and calm. Seems likely to be a warm day and I’m glad I took time to water the garden thoroughly yesterday evening.
Mt Hood in the distance.
I pause my walk occasionally for sneezes, grateful to have thought to grab a pack of travel tissues, mildly annoyed to have to shove them in my pocket after using them; I’ve already passed by the few trash cans along the start of this trail.
I pass a woman going the opposite direction, being walked by her dogs. They pull her along, their leashes taut, she seems to pull back while also being hurried along. Too much dog, I suppose. I chuckle to myself and keep walking. The dogs paid me no attention, they had someplace to be, apparently.
Somewhere over there, the sun rises.
I woke up from surreal dreams this morning, super groggy. Even by the time I reach my halfway point, my head is still foggy, my strange dreams linger, and I have A Tribe Called Quest stuck in my head. I don’t overthink the moment, I queue up the track and listen to it while I watch another sunrise.
Venus sparkles like a tiny diamond on the soft pale blue of a dawn sky streaked with playful pink clouds. Hard to take the world seriously when there is such beauty. Sometimes pausing to appreciate the beauty in the world around me feels like an act of rebellion, as if to say “you have no power over me” to the goblin king. As the morning sky brightens, Venus fades away from view.
I sigh quietly to myself. I sit awhile with private thoughts. The clock ticks on. My journey is incomplete and the path beckons me. This trail isn’t going to walk itself. There’s more to see, more to do. The day has only just begun. I stretch and get to my feet. It’s time to begin again.
I’m sipping my coffee over a break between catching up on everything I missed while I was out of the office for a long weekend, and getting started on all the things yet to be done with this new day. I’m thinking about what a joy the weekend was, and what a trainwreck it sometimes feel the world is (or has become). The immense value and promise of the Internet and global connectivity doesn’t change how easy it is for entities with an agenda to harvest our data – or our attention – regardless of the actual value to us as individuals, and it can be hard to detach myself from the outrage machinery and engagement-seeking drama all around. It can be done; there are verbs involved. Choices. Commitment. Will. Practice.
Choose your path and walk it.
I’m not “a perfect person” – not even close. I am seeking the best within myself, and making a point to practice the practices that serve to shore up (and improve) my mental health and emotional wellness, and build better relationships. I work hard to be become the woman I most want to be. It’s an ongoing bit of work to address character flaws, battle my inner demons, and just do my damned best to be a better person today than I was yesterday. My results vary. (Yours will too; it’s a very human experience.) Still – what better journey than this journey of self-discovery, and healing, and growth could I make over the course of a lifetime? Step by step, day by day, one practice at a time, one moment at a time… I’m finding the best within myself that I can, working to create better qualities where I find myself lacking, and living that life.
…It was a lovely weekend, celebrating love and spending time in the garden. I feel rested, nourished, and restored by the days spent on life and love in the company of my beloved Traveling Partner. I definitely needed it…
The new day began after a night of strange dreams. The sun rise was beautiful as I made the commute to the office. Traffic was light, the drive was pleasant, and my morning coffee is quite good. A nice beginning to the week. The only “fly in my ointment” this morning is this wistful pang of loss and vague persistent feeling of longing in the background; I miss my Traveling Partner intensely after 4 pleasant days spent together, present, connected, and loving. I could have worked from home, but… I doubt I’d have been able to focus on working. lol My heart is at home, in spite of the work in front of me. My thoughts are in my garden, and with my beloved. Taking a break to write, reflect, and indulge my emotions a bit is intended to let me “get back to work” more focused (the way out is through, and our emotions are not an enemy or a defect).
“Baby Love”, the first rose to bloom this year.
I sigh to myself and smile at nothing much. I sip my coffee and stretch. Life is full of next steps and new beginnings. Incremental change over time may not feel like the fastest route to lasting change, but it is a reliable one. I gaze out the window at the brilliant blue sky streaked with a single vapor trail from a passing aircraft, watching the shifting hues of green in the trees as the sun rises higher. Nice moment to pause and reflect and feel the contentment I’ve worked to build over years. I’m standing in a good spot, metaphorically speaking…nonetheless, it is time to begin again. The clock is ticking.
I woke this morning with a song in my head. That’s not so strange. It’s not even strange for it to be a love song; it’s been that sort of weekend. What is odd is that it is a Frank Sinatra version of a Cole Porter classic. lol Nothing against Frank, but he’s not generally my choice of crooner for most jazz standards. lol
… The strangeness didn’t stop me from singing along with the song in my head (and heart) all the way to the trailhead…
It is quite a chilly morning for May. I’m glad I wore my frumpy warm favorite baggy sweater. I almost didn’t and I would have regretted any other choice this morning. It’s almost freezing. There is a dense fog clinging to the marsh lowlands. I swap soft shoes for my sturdier boots and head down the trail.
Dawn beats me to the trailhead these days.
Yesterday was a lovely day. I got home from my walk and spent the day on household tasks, mostly laundry, and made time for some reading and played a video game. It was a relaxed day in my Traveling Partner’s good company. I walked thinking about love and feeling grateful and uplifted, rested and recharged.
I baked the best brownies I’ve ever made.
I tried a new brownie recipe. The results were fantastic. I’ve never made better. I used Joshua Weissman’s Fudgey Brownie recipe from his Texture Over Taste cookbook, which differs slightly from the recipe of the same name online (otherwise I’d link it). Seemed like a good day for brownies – and it was. They were so good my beloved had me talked into baking another batch today (they’re easy), but adulthood caught up with him during the night and he later asked me not to. They’re quite irresistible, and also full of sugar; not ideally healthy, and best served as an infrequent treat.
I ran out of energy before I ran out of daylight, and kept things quite simple for dinner.
Just a bowl of ramen.
I smile thinking my thoughts and hearing the sound of my steps crunching along the marsh trail as I walk. The fog enveloped me in my solitude. I could see sunlight in the treetops as I stepped along. I reach my halfway point and stop with some reluctance; 38 degrees (F) feels colder in May than it did in March. lol Still, I stop and write awhile. It is a thing I do.
I’ll finish my walk (probably with my hands jammed into my pockets for warmth), then go to the store before I head home. It’s another day of housework, minus the relaxed shilly-shallying of yesterday. There is a new week ahead, and it’s time to set aside play in favor of getting things done. Laundry. Tidying up. It’s not really a long list – I’ll even find time in the garden. An ordinary day, in what feels like a mostly pretty ordinary life. It is mine, and there are choices to make, actions to take, and projects to see to completion. I know my results will vary. That’s fine. When I fall, I get back up. When I fail, I begin again. It’s a journey. I smile at the rising sun and get to my feet with a song in my heart…
Evening Light 