I’m sipping my coffee and letting the day begin gently. No pressure, just routine this-n-that. I’m already eager to be back in the garden, and my thoughts are filled with new roses, which have begun to arrive. I’m also giving thought to improving my selection of kitchen herbs for variety (how do I not have French tarragon planted?!). I’ve got an ample supply of seeds for the veggies I most commonly cook with (and have had success growing) and an assortment of “things to try”. “Tis the season…” 😀
Yesterday was the Vernal Equinox. Spring is officially here, and the weather has been delightful. So far, El Gato has stayed out of my veggie bed since I added some veggie starts, and moved the “spike mats” around for better coverage between the tender new plants. Once I am seeing seedlings in sufficient quantity to require thinning, I generally have to take up the mats, otherwise crops like carrots are damned difficult to harvest. lol It’s an effective approach, though, and generally I’ve only got the one cat vexing me (but he does live right next door and clearly considers my yard part of his territory).
I sip my coffee and “spend time in the garden”, in my head. My thoughts are definitely all about the roses, the Spring, and the next opportunity to be in the garden. 😀
I sit thinking about herbs for awhile… I’m missing a couple that I like to use (tarragon, chives, and rosemary), and there are others that are a bit tender in my area, and need to be treated as annuals (like basil and lemon grass). There are still others that I’m reluctant to grow at all, because they quickly become an invasive pest (mint, and dill). I enjoy the planning almost as much as the actual gardening, and happily while away a few minutes simply contemplating what to do, when to do it, and how it will be done. 😀
I breathe, exhale, and relax. So little tension this morning – it’s a lovely chill moment on which to begin a new day. I look out the window into the night sky; it’s still quite dark and not yet daybreak, although some hint of color will likely develop any time now. I smile and sip my coffee and consider this lovely uncomplicated moment. Soon enough, it will be time to begin again.
I’m sipping my coffee and listening to the combination of the ringing in my ears, and the sound of the ventilation circulating the air, punctuated by the cawing of crows as they start their day. The sunrise is peach and orange to the east, illuminating a hazy pink and blue sky beyond the western hills. My desk here in the office has a remarkable 180 degrees or so of view, and though rather unremarkable directly in front of me (facing a residential tower on the other side of a small park), simply turning my head brings the morning sunrise into my field of vision each morning. I love watching it evolve, from the earliest moments of daybreak beginning to recolor the sky, until the florid hues of the rising sun begin to fade away leaving only blue sky behind to begin the day in earnest. It’s lovely. Even the grayest rainiest mornings often hold some interesting detail worth taking note of, as I sip my coffee. I feel fortunate to enjoy these moments. I’m glad I choose them.
A new day. I have the entire thing ahead of me for all manner of purposes and whatever variety of experiences I may find myself having. I feel fortunate here, too. We don’t have infinite days. I look forward to enjoying another one. 😀
I think about the roses and the garden. One of the new ones (Rainbow Happy Trails) arrived yesterday afternoon, just about the time I got home. Later in the evening, sometime after I crashed (early, struck down by Spring allergies – tree pollen, specifically) the new waffle iron arrived, too! I’m eager to give it a try, this weekend. I’m eager to plant the new rose, too. I think I know where I want to put this one, intended to be part of a trio of “memory roses” at the edge of the yard, in a spot with an excellent view of the garden, and currently a bit overlooked.
…I find myself counting the roses I have, and adding the roses I’ve ordered. I think I’ve potentially reached “maximum roses” for the front garden, which makes me giggle; there are still other roses I long to have. No doubt a useful lesson in choosing wisely, in embracing sufficiency, and in managing my desires, eh? lol So human that these are still lessons I continue to have to learn, associated with practices I still need practice at. I do love roses… each with a name, a history, and real character. They are the “main characters” in the garden, with a beautiful supporting cast of herbs and flowers, and wee objects here and there to bring attention to some perspective or angle of view (a gazing ball, a small statue, an interesting large-ish stone, that sort of thing). Even more than any one rose, I love my garden. I don’t think I’m the very best of gardeners… truth is, I’ve got a lot to learn, and in the garden (as in life) I am forever a student. Always practicing. Always studying. Always learning more. Handily enough – there’s always more to learn.
What matters most to you? What are you doing about it? Do you make time for the things that matter to you? How do you prevent “all the other things” from crowding out the things that matter most? I sit with those questions, and my own answers for awhile…
…Where does this path lead? I think for awhile about garden paths, and the garden as a metaphor…
…It’s Spring…
I sit with my coffee, my smile, and this gorgeous sunrise, watching and thinking my thoughts. Breathing. Being. It’s already time to begin again…
I’m sipping my coffee and thinking about the weekend that has only just ended. The sunrise is just getting started, and I see it beyond the city skyline, as a pale peach glow that reaches a deep orange as it nears the distant horizon, only visible reflected back in building windows. The crows are taking flight, and I see and hear them as they pass by the big window behind my monitor. It’s a Monday.
…Funny, I remember Mondays being quite different than this, not so long ago…
…Years, actually, it’s been years since Mondays were reliably unpleasant for me…
I’m feeling contented and merry, well-loved, appreciated, and cared-for. The weekend was rich with self-care and the charming companionship of my Traveling Partner, whose sometimes wildly inappropriate often subtle sense-of-humor reliably amuses me. (Fuck, I love that guy!) We go together like waffles and maple syrup on lazy Sunday. 😀
…I actually did make waffles this weekend. They were… of varying quality. At least one of them was almost the best waffle I’ve ever made… my waffles are pretty hit-or-miss, honestly. There’s a subtlety to really great waffles. I have a fantastic recipe, but I have a cheap-ass very average quality electric waffle iron that is pretty fiddly and imprecise for both temperature and timing (and also hard to clean). Makes it rather more difficult to get a great result than necessary for something as simple as waffles. This particular batch of waffles resulted in a decent breakfast together, but ended with both of us finding reasons that the results were less than satisfying. “Not done enough”, “over-done”, “not quite enough batter” – all the basic ways a waffle can fail, I got that outcome. LOL I make a batch small enough for two people, so the end result was that we each got 1 adequately-edible-but-not-perfect waffle, in spite of a great recipe. Well, shit. Before I even finished my waffle, my Traveling Partner had shopped around for a better waffle iron, and we’ll have it before the next weekend. 😀 Sometimes self-care is about careful consideration of the outcome we get, what we’d like for ourselves instead, and taking actual steps to make that happen… even when we’re just talking about waffles! I’m excited about the new waffle iron, and I’m eager to make waffles again, instead of facing the idea with some resistance certain that the results will be… unpredictable.
The weekend was pleasant, with mild spring weather, and I spent time in the garden planting pea seedlings and salad greens; the young plants give me a head start and give the recently planted seeds some time to get going. They also seem to discourage El Gato from using my veggie bed as a litterbox, which is a bonus. It felt good to have my hands in the soil. I went around to each of the roses and did a little more pruning, cutting back any dead canes, and pruning off canes that were tending to grow in a crowded fashion, or obstructing a walkway – pruning for aesthetics, mostly, and just enjoying the sunshine. It’s a garden. There’s always more to do, and I finally had the weather for it.
Getting the garden started; it’s Spring!
The sky is now a lovely baby blue, with a hint of bold yellow along the horizon, and streaked with bright pink “chem trails” and whisps of clouds. Looks like another pleasant Spring day, and I’m so happy to see it! I sip my coffee and think my thoughts, preparing for the day, and watching the sun rise. I enjoy seeing the sun rise.
I think I recall that the rain will return this week, and through next weekend… that won’t stop me from making waffles, or taking care of myself and my Traveling Partner, but it will probably keep me out of the garden, mostly. I’m glad I got so much done this past weekend! My mind wanders to more/other things I’d like to do, or plan to do, or expect to have to do… I keep a list, so as not to lose track of the important details. My results still vary, but it’s been a long time since I learned to stop beating myself up over the very human limitations in energy and time that can limit what I get done in a day. It doesn’t help to treat myself like shit over running out of energy, or forgetting something I had sworn I’d make time for. It’s far more productive (and kinder to myself) to take note, acknowledge how very human I am, and just move the fuck on to the next opportunity. I try my damnedest not to be one of the people standing in line to grief me over something stupid. lol There are plenty of other people willing to fill that role, any time.
I smile to myself, feeling pretty contented and merry, and very much “recharged” after a great weekend. It’s a good start to a new week, and now it’s time to begin again.
I’m relaxing after my morning walk on a nearer more local trail. I slept in this morning, and slipped out of the house after daybreak, leaving my Traveling Partner to sleep awhile longer. I’ve got a plan to make waffles later, and for now these quiet moments of morning watching the sunrise become a new day are mine to enjoy alone.
A new day, a new beginning.
I am sitting on one of the picnic tables that sit along this stretch of the trail, watching small birds and reflecting on past and current commitments to myself, and my successes and failures over the years. I consider progress I’ve made over time, and how different “a good life” looks to me at 60, compared to 14, 23, 30, or 45… My thinking and my understanding of what I want in life has changed quite a lot over time. Certainly, at 14 I had no idea how much pure effort is involved in “living well”, let alone how I would come to define that after I had experienced some living.
I still find myself yearning for “easy”, far more than I ever yearn(ed) for recognition or fortune, and it amuses and humbles me to finally find myself having to acknowledge that, like a lot of life’s sweet treats, “ease” is best taken in moderation. The more of it I have, the more often I indulge, the more likely I may also find myself struggling later on to maintain my wellness or health in some other area of life. There’s a balance to be struck.
I sit feeling the effects of physical exertion. Feeling the rising sun on my face. Breathing the cool morning air. A small bird stops on the table, very near to me. I hold quite still to avoid startling her into flight. She looks me over and picks at unseen crumbs while I wonder how hard birds must work just to survive. I think I must have it relatively easy, by comparison. Useful perspective.
I’ve been working towards increasing the amount of effort I put in day-to-day, without exhausting myself or breaking down this fragile vessel. This isn’t new; I’ve “been here before”. I’m hoping to improve my fitness and my wellness, generally. I’d like to be around a good long time more… In spite of the chaos of the world, my own wee slice of suburban paradise is rather nice, and I enjoy life and love and time spent with my Traveling Partner and my friends. I’m not interested in “going out with a bang”, nor do I want to quietly fade away. I want most to live well, and live simply, and enjoy the life I live for all the days I can. Recent reminders that we are mortal creatures are less depressing than they are simply a reminder that the clock is always ticking.
… I wonder what the future holds, as I take off my hiking boots and put my sneakers back on. I think about the garden and wonder if I would do well to pick up a watering can for watering the seedlings in the veggie bed. These questions strangely seem to have similar significance and magnitude for me on this relaxed Sunday morning. I suppress a laugh and the little bird flies away.
… I remember that I’ve planned to drain and clean and refill the hot tub today and wonder if I actually will… Have I got it in me? Should I give myself a break and do it next weekend?
I take a breath and exhale with a sigh and a smile, and prepare to walk back to the car, wondering if I have everything I need to make waffles…? I know I have what I need to find satisfaction, joy, and contentment in my life. There are verbs involved…
It’s still dark here at the trailhead where I am waiting for daybreak. It’s a pleasantly mild morning and expected to be a warm sunny day. I’d hoped to sleep in, but woke at my usual early hour, and did my best to slip away quietly so my Traveling Partner could get the rest he needs, too. So here I am, thinking about life and waiting for the sun.
I watched an excellent perspective piece on YouTube last night with my Traveling Partner, discussing what makes a “good life”, and what a life well-lived consists of, generally. That’s an utterly inadequate summary. It sort of describes “how the sausage is made” with regard to all the media crap we cram into our brains that tell us we could or should do more or live differently. You could just watch it. I found it a worthwhile way to spend 11 minutes. Inspiring in a wholesome way. I don’t think I could have said it better.
Daybreak comes. Mt Hood is backlit by a broad strip of a relatively bold orange. It’s a lovely morning to be on the trail early, alone with my thoughts. Time to wrap this up and get going…
Is this a “boring” life because I don’t travel to exotic destinations or do amazing adventurous things? No. It’s a quiet life built on contentment and sufficiency, doing things I truly enjoy, and spending time with people I have real fondness for. It’s not only not boring, it’s very much the life I have been working towards for so long. 🙂
Evening Light 