Archives for posts with tag: walk it off

It was the anxiety that woke me, drenched in hot sweat, feeling a weight on my chest, breathless and on the edge of panic, in a quiet, dark room, in the wee hours before dawn. What the hell? I forced myself to remain still, and artificially calm. “Breathe!” I commanded my still waking consciousness sternly. I exhaled slowly, emptying my lungs. Another deep breath, another slow complete exhalation. I turned on a dim light as I continue to breathe, exhale, and relax.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

“Anxiety” 2011

Anxiety is a very human experience. Certainly there’s no shortage of shit that might make us anxious in the modern world. Here? Now? In a dimly lit comfortable bedroom in a safe suburban neighborhood during the quiet hours before a new day begins there really doesn’t seem to be anything going on worth feeling anxious about. That’s all anxiety is, after all, a feeling. The lived experience of human biochemistry misfiring in the darkness. Fucking hell I definitely dislike feeling anxious. The worst of it is the way my mind immediately goes into overdrive trying to ascribe an “obvious” cause to it that seems plausible enough to become difficult to shake, however ridiculous it actually is.

I get up. Dress. Head out for the local trail I favor for a pleasant morning walk. The anxiety goes with me, this morning. It is what it is. I keep breathing. I keep reminding myself that “anxiety is a liar”, which I have found to be reliably true.

A peaceful spot suitable for a moment of reflection.

I sit with my thoughts awhile, near a small chapel alongside the first section of the trail. I’m in no hurry. Coffee with a friend a little later, and a bit of a drive to get there. The morning is my own. I think wistfully of my Traveling Partner, still sleeping at home. I hope my anxiety didn’t disturb his rest.

I breathe, exhale, relax. Meditation before my walk isn’t my usual practice. This morning I need the benefit of that cultivated moment of peace before I set off down the trail. There’s no self-critical pressure being applied, no disappointment over feeling anxious. This is the moment I’m in, and the experience I’m having. It doesn’t seem to be connected to anything, and I’m not surprised by that. I’ve got a diagnosis for good reasons. This anxiety is “disordered” – it’s “not real”, in the sense that there is no external cause at all. It is inappropriate to the circumstances. Baggage. The leavings of past trauma and whatever the fuck else causes a human body to fire off a bunch of chemical signals that suggest there is some dire circumstance afoot. (There just isn’t, and anxiety is a liar.)

On the other hand, the feeling of anxiety, the experience of the chemistry of it, is very real and very troublesome. I breathe through it, repeating the cyclical breathing I know specifically helps calm my nervous system. That’s very real, too. I’m still surprised how much effect specific breathing patterns can have on my subjective experience. The way my breathing can directly and immediately change how I feel is amazing. Sometimes it takes a bit of discipline. Real practice. Verbs. Persistence.

I stand and stretch as it begins to sprinkle. I’m fairly close to the car, so I walk back for my rain poncho. The walking also calms my anxiety quite a lot, especially when I am present in the moment and not all up in my head.

Even as the anxiety begins to dissipate, I feel it clawing at my brain trying to latch on to some idea or experience to find justification that will feed it. I keep brushing aside the impulse to make it “about” something. Not helpful. I roll my eyes and walk on down the trail.

For some of us, building and maintaining mental health and emotional wellness is a lifelong endeavor that can feel a little frustrating when it seems endlessly unresolved. Solutions feel impermanent, because they are. Life doesn’t stand still and mental illness is pretty persistent. Whether we take medication or practice a strict diet and exercise regimen, or maintain a committed meditation practice, or see a therapist regularly, or some combination of things that we’ve found some measure of success with, for many people mental health isn’t a given – it’s a struggle. There’s no easy cure in a pill. Mental health isn’t that simple. Trauma remakes us. The ideal biochemical balance for any one human primate isn’t clear. There’s a shitload of trial and error involved in finding what works for any one human being – and finding it doesn’t guarantee lasting relief.

…So… This morning I woke to anxiety. This morning I walk with anxiety. This morning I practice the practices that work best for me, not out of habit, and not because I generally find value and resilience in them, but because I really need all the tools at my disposal to kick anxiety’s ass another day.

As I walk, I feel the anxiety slowly beginning to dissipate. Sometimes it takes awhile. I’m grateful to deal with it alone this morning; less risk of unnecessary drama erupting from the lies my anxiety tells me. I breathe the fresh scent of petrichor and Spring flowers. I exhale the last remnants of tension from this mortal body. I repeat the breathing and the feeling of relief is also repeated. Breathe in, breathe out, walk on… It mostly works for me, and this morning it’s enough.

… Like anything else, anxiety is impermanent. It will pass. If I don’t feed it, it will starve…

I get to my halfway spot with my thoughts, and a beautiful sunrise on an overcast drizzly morning. I’m okay for most values of “okay”. My results vary, but there’s really nothing amiss and it’s a lovely morning. I can begin again.

I am sipping a really terrible coffee, looking out over the ocean at low tide. Funny, I’m in the room right next to the room I had on my last visit here…but the view is diminished (one window instead of three side-by-side), and the coffee is terrible. My results vary. Yours will, too, most likely. It’s a very human experience.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

Low tide, sunrise, western horizon.

I’m still drinking the coffee, as terrible as it is. I’ll go out for better, later, but for now this will do. I am still enjoying the view from this room. It’s beautiful. No complaints, and no need to journey elsewhere to see the sea. Surely, I’ll see more, and from other viewpoints, later today, but for now this is quite enough. This room is somehow smaller than the one next door (and no kitchenette, just a coffee machine and a mini-fridge). Doesn’t much matter; I’m not here about the amenities, I’m here to relax with my thoughts and reset myself, my thinking, and my approach to the day-to-day, hoping to come home feeling refreshed and energized, and somehow more myself than when I got here.

…Will that work? Maybe? It has before…

Here on the seashore I feel my Dear Friend’s presence and my Granny’s. Both women loved coastal places. Whenever I was low, talking with my Granny on the phone from some distant place, she would say “You should come to the shore, Sweetie, and take a rest from all that. It’s just noise in your head. Come listen to the birds, and feel the breeze on the marsh. We’ll take a drive into town and have crab cakes.” I’d often laugh, just feeling relieved to be heard. I couldn’t go as often as I would have liked, but on those occasions that I did, it saved me.

I sip my terrible cup of coffee, marveling at just how really awful it is. The morning sun begins to light up the distant clouds, high in the sky. Beautiful. A seagull stands on the bit of ground between the window and the straight drop to the beach, and looks into the window at me. The ocean is a sleek polished aluminum gray, breaking on the rocky beach in waves of white foam, shining with reflected light. I could sit at this window and watch this views for many uninterrupted hours – even with this gull standing there watching me, as if expecting I might toss some tasty morsel his way. It is windy today (yesterday, too), and it’s expected to be rainy, too. I don’t even mind. Storms make for dramatic skies, and rain means a good night’s sleep (for me).

I sigh to myself. This coffee is even worse once it’s begun to go cold. I chuckle to myself. It’s a good indication that it’s time to begin again, perhaps? The tide is as its lowest, and the tide pools here are something special. My clothes are already laid out. A walk on the beach, then a proper cup of coffee sounds like a lovely start to the day. I let go of my expectations; there is no sense in clinging to what I do not yet know. I already know that change is, and that my results may vary. I’m walking my own path, and that’s enough for this moment right here, now.

I finish this coffee, and think kisses at my Traveling Partner. He’s having his own experience – I hope it is a good one.

I woke on time, gently, from a sound restful sleep. I barely noticed the headache, at first. I got up, dressed, watered the lawn, and headed for the trail. It is a pleasantly mild Wednesday morning.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

I sigh to myself as I reach my halfway point. This headache is vexing me. It seems to rise from somewhere between my shoulders, following my spine up to meet the base of my skull, blossoming into pain that spreads around the curve of the back of my head, becoming a beacon of “extra” pain in my forehead. Fucking hell this sucks all the ass. I laugh briefly, but that shakes my head unpleasantly. What sort of madwoman writes an entire paragraph on a pleasant Wednesday to carefully describe pain?

I had planned to work from home, specifically to also get some laundry done during the work day. At least right now, waiting for medication to be effective, I’m not feeling like “being around people”, at all. Alone feels better, for the moment. Working from home may be less than ideal, in spite of comfort and convenience and the company of my beloved Traveling Partner; I’m cranky as hell in this much pain.

… Fuck this headache…

I sit wondering if I can somehow justify blowing off work completely today, but I’m uncomfortable with the optics of an unplanned absence. I’ve been a professional for too long. 😆 I’d probably end up spending the day on errands and chores, and still enduring this fucking headache.

I let my thoughts wander on. Staying focused on the headache is worse than useless. The morning is a feast of fresh hues of green, and the stormy looking clouds that were overhead at daybreak have dissipated revealing clear blue skies. I breathe, exhale, and relax. A small brown bunny steps cautiously out from among the grass along the side of the trail. He watches me. I watch him. A curious bluejay startles us both.

My birthday is coming up soon. I’ve no idea what to do about it, really. I don’t have a crazy wishlist of things to do, acquire, or experience in mind. I don’t yearn for something with a reasonable price tag. My needs are pretty well met, generally. I would feel like a jerk to indulge a vague desire to be quite alone for my birthday; I know my Traveling Partner would probably want to celebrate with me, and might be hurt to be left alone on my birthday. I don’t really have any expectations or birthday wishes. Perhaps a cheesecake or an elegant fruit tart? Maybe a day without chores or cooking. Meh. I guess that’s the vibe, at least from this vantage point, peering through this headache. 😆 “This too will pass.”

I glance at the time, fighting my headache-fueled ennui. I could use a new beginning right about now… so I get to my feet and begin again.

I am awake. I’m groggy and clumsy with sleepiness I haven’t been able to shake off yet. Initially, I wasn’t sure what woke me from my deep sound sleep. I rarely get such sleep. I struggled to sit up, to disentangle myself from the hose of my CPAP mask. When I sat up the room was dark. What the hell woke me? I had a vague recollection of hearing my name called, and trying to understand what was being said to me.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

I got up, dressed, and left the house, still wondering what woke me. My Traveling Partner messaged me on the way out. It wasn’t an apology for waking me. It was information about his poor sleep through the night. Context? The timing suggests he did indeed wake me, and it’s pretty close to my usual time, anyway. I shrug it off, yawn, and pull out of the driveway. Maybe my walk in the fresh Spring air will wake me more thoroughly?

… Sucks that he had a bad night, though…

I sat stupidly at the trailhead, in my car, for rather a long time before I was clearheaded enough to recall that taking actual steps would be required. I just wasn’t awake. Once I noticed I was “stalled”, I grabbed my cane and set off down the trail, my mind still quite foggy.

It’s a beginning.

Down the trail, past blooming cherry trees, and tall oaks. Past vineyards with tall green grass growing between the rows. Along the creek and the strip of forest growing along the bank, I walk listening to the loud calls of the robins and softer calls of a variety of small brown birds. Eventually, I reach my halfway point and stop for a moment. Mostly awake by this point, I sit and write, meditate, and reflect. New day, new challenges…

… Lovely weekend, now over…

It is a Monday. No dread, really, but little enthusiasm, either. I’m here. I’m ready to do the things, but the day ahead doesn’t fulfill any particular purpose of my own. It’s a job. I do the work, collect a paycheck, and live my life. I chuckle to myself, without merriment. Humanity could do better than this.

I sigh to myself. The air tastes sweet and I wish I were headed for some destination, and not to a desk and a digital workspace. I’d rather be at my easel or in my garden. I’d rather be sleeping in or drinking too much coffee at some sidewalk cafe in some forgotten little beach town somewhere, or hanging out with friends beside a crackling fire. This is not that time and I let it go. Clinging to some other moment or some desired moment that is not now robs me of the chance to savor this one. I smile and look at the many signs of Spring around me. A carpet of tiny yellow flowers in the grass beckons me to sit awhile… The clock is ticking, though, and I’ll soon have to begin again. It is, after all, a Monday.

One moment of many, insignificant by itself.

I get to my feet with a sigh, a yawn, and a sneeze, and turn to head back down the trail the way I came. It’s time.

Once upon a time, many years ago, a younger version of me was making the trip down to visit family in Baltimore over a weekend. At the time, I was stationed at Aberdeen Proving Ground (more specifically, at Edgewater Arsenal). It was winter, and the roads were icy and there was a heavy snow falling. A smarter human primate would have more carefully considered the risks and stayed “home”, safe and warm in the barracks. I chose differently.

As the rear end of my Honda CRX Si broke loose from the icy road, and the car began to slide sideways around the tight curve of the offramp, spinning slowly, I resisted the urge to apply the breaks, began down shifting gently, and steering against the spin. I began rethinking my life choices. I came to a stop at the foot of the offramp, grateful there was no one behind me, and that I hadn’t hit anything. The car stopped, centered in my lane, but facing the wrong direction. I counted myself lucky, and got turned around, then finished my drive to my Aunt’s house.

… It’s a metaphor…

The unexpected is going to happen. However well-prepared we may think we are for this or that circumstance, we are mortal creatures of limited vision, and our meager preparations are no match for the vagaries of reality. Sometimes shit is just going to go sideways, whether we are prepared or not, and all we can do is hold on and do our best to “steer out of it”, and maybe learn something.

Yesterday was pleasant. The additional rest of sleeping in made a lot of difference and I enjoyed the day in my Traveling Partner’s good company. We are each having our own experience, and today is a new and entirely different day. Had I known when I woke this morning what I know now about where we each stand with our own shit to deal with, I might have made very different plans. 😆 Here I am, thoroughly human, crying in my partner’s pickup, parked at a local trailhead, thinking perhaps I’ll “just walk it off”, but it’s hard to walk while crying. My tears make my eyes burn, and the trail is crowded with strangers today. I don’t want to deal with them any more than I want to deal with me.

My head aches and my tinnitus is loud enough to be a distraction and uncomfortable. I’m irritable, partly just because those things are irritating, but also because my beloved is similarly irritable himself, for his own reasons, and we can’t manage to coexist in shared space, for the moment. Easier to just leave the house and know that one of us may find something like peace, maybe. Maybe not. I just don’t know what else to do at this point, besides give him space and take some for myself.

Like winter, circumstances are not personal.

The sky is gray. The trees are bare. The mild temperature doesn’t hide the fact that it is a bleak wintry day. I’m probably bringing the gray bleakness with me. I’d like to be at home, reading and resting or playing a video game, or baking or just anything besides sitting here crying in a parking lot. Acknowledging these feelings only serves to remind me I could have grabbed the book I’m reading and brought it with me. Stupid drama-prone primate brain! Inefficient. I sigh to myself. I try to meditate. I breathe, exhale, and… It’s hard to relax with my tinnitus shrieking in my ears this way.

A lot of the shit we go through is hard, but very little of it is “personal”. I remind myself to let small shit stay small, and to assume positive intent. I remind myself to do my best, and to take care of myself. I remind myself to be kind, patient, and compassionate – to my Traveling Partner and to myself. I remind myself to ask for help when I need it, and to accept it graciously when offered.

I reach out to the Anxious Adventurer, and ask if he can handle doing the dishes and making dinner? I’m grateful that he can. My feet already ache from my walk earlier, but I grab my cane and my resolve and get ready to put another mile on my boots. I want something better out of the day, and I will have to begin again to get there.