Archives for category: Spring

I am sitting with a glass of iced tea, taking a break from work, and checking the map to see where my Traveling Partner is, on his journey. As if on cue, an old love song about an absent lover plays. My heart is filled with love and gratitude – not just for the solitude for this brief time, but also because it is a “brief time” until I welcome the beloved traveler home to me.

Working from home is pleasant. This quiet time lets me be quite focused and purposeful. I do find that I miss some of those distractions and interruptions, in spite of myself. I mean, I do love that guy, after all. 😀 He’s pretty special. Honestly, there’s not that much different about working from home, from my studio/office. Work is work.

…This tea is good though…

The map tells me my partner has covered about 165 miles or so, since he left (around 09:15 this morning)… here it is shortly past 13:00. Seems like he’s making good progress, though we left the details pretty open and I’m not at all certain what the destination (for today) will actually be – just a sense of approximately where he’s headed. It makes for an adventure even for me, from this vantage point here at home.

…I do miss him quite a bit, and the house seems very still and quiet…

There’s plenty of everyday stuff to get done, and the absence of my Traveling Partner doesn’t change any of that. I start some laundry. Empty the dishwasher. Take out the trash. Have a soak in the hot tub. Getting this solo time was never about doing something spectacular or novel. It’s about freedom to exist for a few days unfettered by expectations, other agendas, and the day-to-day steady consideration of what everyone else around me may need from me. A few days alone with my thoughts, alone with my breathing (and my anxiety), alone with my questions (and my chatter), just… alone, to breathe and to be. Simple stuff. Ideally, he’s getting needs of his own met with this outing that maybe I’m not easily able to meet. I don’t know. I hope so.

I do miss him

…I’m also okay with missing him; he’ll be very much truly and thoroughly welcomed when he returns. 😀 Sometimes it’s really helpful to miss someone, to regain a sense of their value in one’s life, to experience the “without” that is such a poignant reminder of all the wonder of “being with”… you know? My sense of my partner’s absence comes and goes; it’s only been hours. How will it feel once it has been days? I grin at myself; I’m okay alone, but damn I do love that man who is my Traveling Partner.

I finish my tea, finish my break, and begin again.

I watched a couple videos recently that “spoke to me”. One is a child coaching her Mom about treating people well – it’s a study in emotional intelligence. The other is a favorite content creator’s take on the way so many people make themselves miserable. I liked each of these for different reasons, but they both really resonated with me in some way, and I am sharing them with you – maybe you’ll find something of value in these, too? 🙂

I am sipping my coffee on a chilly Sunday morning in Spring. The weather looks nice. It was pleasant yesterday, too. My Traveling Partner and I hung out most of yesterday, talking over his gear as he packs for a trip away. I am simultaneously looking forward to a few days home alone, and also dreading the first moment my heart and soul realize he isn’t right here. lol I know I want (and need) the alone time, but… I will still miss him like crazy a lot. I’m not really looking forward to missing him; that bit hurts more than a little bit. I’ll be okay though – I’ll deal with it.

Sometimes the only thing we can do with or about a challenge in life is… deal with it. Cope. Accept something unpleasant or unavoidable. Change something within my power to make a change. Let it pass. Move along. Walk on. Breathe. Take action. Understand that results will likely vary. Demonstrate endurance and resilience. Adapt.

I sip my coffee and think my thoughts. Honestly, we could use a few days to miss each other – super helpful now and then, simply having the chance to reflect on the absence of someone dear, and be reminded how much we value their companionship, their humor, their touch, or other specific details that characterize our experience together.

I woke after a restless night. My Traveling Partner woke me a couple times during the night to ask me to roll over or change position. My snoring must have been pretty bad. I woke feeling relatively well-rested. I must have been clumsy and bumbling about making a racket in spite of myself; he woke shortly after I did, annoyed and not feeling well-rested at all. I made coffee for both of us, and made haste to the studio, to give him a chance to wake up and sort himself out without interference from me. Soon enough we’ll both forget these sorts of moments while we are missing each other and other sorts of moments we spend together. I’m grateful he’s thought of so many little things to make the time apart as low stress as possible. I smile, sip my coffee, and think nice thoughts at this human being I love so well, sipping his coffee in the other room on a chilly Spring morning.

…Camping season (for me) already…? It’s definitely feeling that way. The nights are warmer. The days are longer. The gear is ready. My partner is taking the truck for some solo camping this week. We’ve got a camping trip together planned for my birthday. I’m excited about that. 60 this year. It’s been 10 years of Evening Light. (Wow!) That’s worth celebrating. 😀

Another sip of this very good cup of coffee, and I start thinking about the day ahead. Sunday. Housekeeping mostly, I guess, and getting ready for the week ahead. I’ll have some alone time, but it’s also a work week. No point going to the co-work space; I’ll work from home this week. I’m looking forward to that too. Sunday is still laundry day, and grocery shopping if any needs to be done, and dishes, and taking out trash and recycling… routine household chores. Good day for it. I’ll get out into the garden for a while, too, I suppose. A merry and ordinary Sunday ahead…

…I suppose there’s nothing left to do but begin again…

This morning I woke rather abruptly, uncertain of the time. Just at that moment, my silent alarm went off; the lights came up, and it was clearly “morning”. Time to get up, start a new day… just… give me a minute… I sat there for 2 or maybe 3 minutes before I moved at all. This is probably pretty routine for a lot of people. For me, not so routine – I usually get up when I wake, and start doing something, if only getting dressed and taking morning medication. This morning I was stricken with brain fog, and rather stupidly pre-occupied with a work matter that I can’t do a fucking thing about until later. Quite a bit later, actually. Shit.

My Traveling Partner was already up, himself. He is awake and preparing to go back to the service provider who installed the lift kit on our truck; they did it incorrectly, and the manufacturer of the lift kit has confirmed that. Time to have our service provider make it right. :-\ I don’t envy my partner’s mission, and I definitely get how it affects his mood, which is to say, relatively notably (he’s understandably pissed off). Sucks that this is where his day begins. (Also sucks that it is where our day ended yesterday evening, when he got the email from the lift kit manufacturer confirming the installation requirements.)

My brain was way too foggy to be a skillfully helpful and supportive human this morning. I felt wholly distracted (and not productively) by work shit. I felt impatient with my Traveling Partner’s continued focus on the truck, the lift kit, the annoyance that it was installed incorrectly. I earnestly wanted to “empty my mind” and just … be. The brain fog was not helping. I got my shit together (everything was already laid out and ready to go for the morning before I went to bed) and quickly left for the co-work space as I would on a morning when my Traveling Partner was not awake. I managed to hurt his feelings by doing so, instead of sitting down for coffee with him. Fuck.

…But if I had stayed? Things almost certainly would have gone sideways, sending me to the office crying, instead of just brain foggy. I know this fragile vessel well. I mean, I could be wrong, but I really didn’t want to find out the hard way…

Now I’m sipping coffee (office coffee – pretty dreadful), and trying my best to properly wake up to start the work day. I am less than ideally successful. The brain fog is … persistent.

In spite of waking up spontaneously and rather abruptly this morning, I feel as if I could so easily just go back to sleep… my mind wanders, distracted and lacking focus, and the brain fog prevents any particularly productive or useful thinking. I find myself, again and again, sitting quietly, fingers poised over the keyboard, motionless. Some days this might be the result of very much preferring to do my own thing, write, paint, hike – anything but work. That’s not the case this morning. It’s not a choice between working and not that has me stalled. It feels more like my brain just isn’t engaging fully in the new day, just… at all. lol Rough.

Today feel like it may be a battle just to put one foot in front of the other, or to process a task and move on to the next. Begin again? Who am I kidding? I’ve barely begun in the first place! LOL Fuuuuuck. So… now what?

…I guess I’ll just have to keep practicing…

I am sipping some iced tea with lemon. I didn’t make it. It is a canned commercial product. It’s okay. Mildly carbonated, which seems pretty unnecessary for iced tea, but it is available, it is cold, and it did not require me to make iced tea to have some. lol I am thinking about what that says about my desire for “ease” vs my desire for good quality of life. It seems the sort of thing worth thinking about.

As I made the drive in to the city this morning, I was also thinking. Mostly about “work life balance” and what that actually seems to mean, and what that can (or has)(or does) look like (for me). I have tended to mostly think about “work life balance” in terms of … a scale. Two opposites in equal measure, you know – balanced. It has not generally been the case that I have been able to make that work out quite that way. I mean… there are 7 days in a week. I work 5 of those, most of the time. The common assumption is 40 work hours in a week, divided more or less into 8-hour days (when we’re fortunate to enjoy working conditions that preserve an expectation of employee leisure being respected). That’s a pretty big chunk of our life time, so… where’s the “balance”?

Fairly often, in my own experience, any appearance of “work life balance” has been more like a pendulum swinging between extremes, some weeks mostly work, some weeks a bit more leisure than is typical, and back and forth pretty endlessly. There have been notable exceptions where the “routine” wasn’t routine at all, and finding any “balance” was more like a dance than a pendulum’s steady swing. In other cases, any hint of “work life balance” was purely linguistic, and not to be taken at all seriously by anyone involved. Those are commonly pretty toxic experiences, and I avoid those.

I continue to look for a better balance, though; more life, less work… it gets tricky when the conversation turns to pay. I definitely still want to get paid. LOL

I sip my tea and reflect. I think about how tricky it is to balance all the elements of a life well-lived… the living, the loving, the working, the resting… and I think about how often one or another detail feels “just right”, while literally everything else seems to be going to shit. lol How very human. Certainly it’s been those “just right” experiences that have often been what has “kept me going”, avoiding despair, keeping up practices, breathing through the emotions, and accepting that “this too will pass” – because it will, and it does, and it’s on to the next thing.

My Traveling Partner has got the truck set up for camping and off-roading and overland adventuring. Exciting. I’m expecting that any day now he will calmly advise me that he is going to “hit the road and check everything out” in preparation for camping together for my birthday. I’m super excited about the camping trip we have planned. I’m also excited to have a couple days home alone… by July we’ll have been in this little house for 3 years. I’ve never spent a night at home alone in all that time. I guess I’m fortunate to be able to say that, given the quality and good character of this love of ours. I’m still looking forward to it. 🙂

…And every time I think about being home alone, while my Traveling Partner travels, I miss him with an incredible ache in my heart that feels just a bit like… withdrawals. lol I’m pretty crazy about this particular other human being. Like a teenager with a first crush…

The minutes tick by. I sip my tea and think my thoughts. I breathe, exhale, relax… soon enough, I’ll also begin again. It’s a new day ahead. New options. New choices. New circumstances. There is room for improvement. Room for change and for growth. All it takes is a new beginning, and a handful of verbs.

Take steps. Wherever you are in life, just keeping taking steps. Maintain momentum. Walk on. Begin again. 🙂

I am sipping my morning coffee, contemplating the weekend that is now behind me. What a lovely anniversary weekend. I enjoyed the time we spent together. I am grateful to have the partnership we do.

This morning I’m also thinking about change and uncertainty and managing chaos. All the practicing of practices doesn’t get me out from under the challenges of being a human primate. So… there’s that, too. lol

I breathe, exhale, relax, and repeat. I sit quietly with my coffee, reflecting, and simply being. Steps? A good first step, in a lot of circumstances, is this simple exercise. Breathing. Sitting quietly and just breathing. Start there. 🙂

A lot of what works is pretty simple stuff – it just needs doing. Verbs. Results vary. Practice? Yep. Both noun and verb, that one. lol I keep practicing. It paid off this weekend, more than once. It was a good weekend.

I smile when I think of my Traveling Partner, then begin again.