Archives for posts with tag: begin again

I’m sipping my coffee and fussing with a small hangnail. I keep trying to ignore it, but keep finding myself sliding the adjacent finger alongside the hangnail, feeling the tiny snag as much more significant than it is, and fighting the impulse to tear it off, which would surely only do more damage. I pause and put lotion on my hands, hoping to soften that wee torn bit of flesh such that it stops being a distraction. It’s a small thing (literally quite small), but continues to pull at my awareness in the background. Will I have the pure will and persistence necessary to leave the fucking thing alone for an entire work shift? (Somehow I’ve misplaced the nail kit I thought I’d left in my desk drawer for this sort of thing…)

I sigh out loud and make myself let this go. Again. I expect I’ll be repeating the effort… repeatedly. lol

…I remind myself to make an appointment for a manicure this week…

…I think about how terrible I am at remembering self-care tasks without actual reminders, and put the reminder on my damned calendar for later…

It was fully daylight when I got to the office this morning, though I left at “the usual time”. The season continues to evolve, Spring deepening and the days growing longer and warmer. I’m eagerly anticipating my camping trip at the end of the month, and looking forward to the early morning drive. 3 hours of country driving, quite early and likely with very little traffic due to the early hour and route I’ve selected. It’s the kind of driving I enjoy most. My Traveling Partner prepared a playlist for me to enjoy – songs I can sing along to that we often enjoy together, and selected to be the sorts of things unlikely to provoke aggressive driving, and more likely to promote a peaceful chill driving experience. I’ve been enjoying it on my commute, too. 😀 Delightful. I feel very loved – and understood.

I sit with the passing recollection that we’ll be losing this office space at the end of this month. Feels a little odd. I don’t actually require an office space to do the work I do; I’m a “fully remote” worker these days, and making the trip into the office is purely optional, and I do it because it’s nice to enjoy the pleasant office, and to give my Traveling Partner the opportunity to sleep in. It’ll be back to working from home in just a couple weeks, and my timing and routine will change to account for that. No idea what that’ll look like, really. My “routine” is not fixed or static, and it changes with seasons, and the changing needs of daily (and family) life. The rate of change is sufficiently slow that things tend to feel pretty routine most of the time, in spite of the changes. I’ll likely return to walking (locally) in the very early morning, and starting my work day hours later than I do now. Being at home during the work day, I’ll do more of the small housekeeping stuff on breaks, during the day, instead of pounding through all of it shortly after returning home. I may be less tired – I’ll get almost 3 hours back in my day that will no longer be spent commuting to the city. I find myself looking forward to all of that.

…I glance at the clock, and realize it’s already time to get on with the day… I begin again.

This morning is a gray and rainy one. It’s fine. It’s the sort of rain that evokes childhood memories of waiting in the car, rain tapping the windshield and roof, or sitting gazing out a window to a rainy street daydreaming stories about passers-by, dazzled by the reflections of lights on wet pavement. I find rainy days generally pleasant, but the sound of rain does tend to make my mind wander. I sit with my thoughts for a timeless moment, watching the rain fall.

…The only thing I don’t like about a chilly rainy morning is the amount of pain I’m often in; my arthritis definitely seems to respond to the weather…

I nibble at my breakfast salad contentedly, in spite of having “no dressing” (I’d used up the last of what was on hand last week, and had completely forgotten about it). It’s fine. I drizzled a teaspoon of olive oil over the greens, and a sprinkling of salt and pepper. Seems adequate; it matters more that the greens are a nice blend of good quality baby greens (things like spinach, arugula, chard, small leaf lettuces) – flavorful on their own. I sip my coffee, which is surprisingly terrible this morning – but that’s fine, too. It’s honestly not worth fussing over, barely worth mentioning in passing. I’m satisfied with it; it feels like enough. Could I make fresh? Sure. Could I go get a coffee elsewhere and spend money on it? Yep. Not gonna. Doesn’t matter enough to bother with all that. It’s fine. lol

My mind wanders as I nibble at my breakfast. No rush. No pressure. A moment with my thoughts. My tinnitus is loud in my ears, though I easily hear the ventilation in the background, and a plane passing over heard, too; these definitely external sounds help prevent me from focusing on my tinnitus (which, subjectively, often makes it seem much louder). I feel prepared for the day, and well-organized. I breathe, exhale, and relax. I let myself simply be here, now; a woman having coffee and a bite of breakfast before digging into the day’s work in earnest. It’s enough.

Nozomi – second to bloom this Spring.

The weekend was a rainy one, and I enjoyed taking it easy with my Traveling Partner. We spent time together on 3D printing projects, and conversation. It was a lovely weekend. I didn’t spend much time in the garden (just had a walk around once or twice), due to the fairly steady rain. It was fine, though. My time was well-spent.

I think ahead to my upcoming camping trip, which will take me away from home (if all goes as planned) for most of an entire work week (Monday through midday Friday). I know he’ll miss me. I think about things I can do to provide a sense of care and comfort for him, even while I’m away, and how best to stay connected and emotionally close while we’re apart. However much I need the solitude, myself, I am aware he gets much more of that than he needs. There’s a balance to be struck. He loves me, and recognizes I need the solitary time now and then. I love him, and recognize he needs to feel that continued sense of connection and closeness when I’m away. Love is worth learning the practices that build the skills it takes to make love last in an enduring and healthy way. (I’m still practicing, still learning, still working on becoming the woman – and the partner – that I most want to be. There are verbs involved, and my results vary.)

What are you going to do about it?

…I chuckle to myself when I recall my thoughts about this morning’s writing on my way to work; this is nothing like that. It’s strikes me humorously, simply because I often have some particular theme or idea in mind as I head to work, but once I’m here, and sitting down with the day, my head may be in a very different place. I “lose the thread” of those early morning thoughts, which sometimes vexes me, particularly if I “had it all sorted out” in my head in some way I thought worth putting into words. Other mornings, my musings – worthy or not – are less than ideally focused, or rather more negative that useful, and a few moments of meditation “puts my head right”, but throws all those earlier thoughts out in favor of … something different. That’s a bit of what happened this morning. I woke feeling, not exactly cross, just not… delighted with the day, somehow. After I sat with myself for a few minutes, listening to the rain fall, I felt fine. Upbeat. Fairly merry. Contented. It definitely changed what I ended up writing, though I’m not sure in any useful way. I’m sort of just… putting words into sentences. lol

…This is the thing, though; incremental change over time, and working through the chaos and damage, means more and more of my days are less and less “terrible”, and much more likely to be quite pleasantly ordinary – and that’s a good thing. The “excitement” of chaos and the highs and lows of living with trauma (and healing from it) aren’t the standard to strive for, at all. The point of seeking emotional wellness is to, over time, become emotionally well, which is often not particularly exciting at all, which is… fine. Quite fine.

I sip my coffee. Finish my salad. Look over my calendar for the day and the week, and check my notes from Friday. I’m ready to begin again.

It was early when I got to the trailhead. The rain started, again, as I arrived. It didn’t matter, since the gate was still closed. I sat quietly through the few minutes of waiting,  listening to the rain falling, meditating, waiting, drinking coffee I was grateful to have stopped for (what with the waiting and all).

The gate opens now at 05:30 a.m., and daybreak comes much sooner than it did just a few weeks ago. I move the car into the parking lot, up a hill from the couple of spaces outside the gate. It’s still raining, and I’m still waiting. I’m pretty good at waiting.

I sit with my coffee watching the dark rainy night slowly becoming a gray rainy morning, listening to the rain falling steadily,  drops tapping on the car. Surely there will be sufficient break in the rain to get a good walk in? I think it over, unperturbed by either potential outcome. I find my mind wandering to my upcoming camping trip and wondering if it will rain there, then, too? I’ll go prepared for it.

My head aches ferociously this morning. My arthritis is also quite painful. Head, neck, back… so much pain. I’m glad it’s Sunday. I can put more time and energy on self-care. There’s still laundry and dishes to do… no doubt other things I am overlooking for the moment. Still, it’s a gentle relaxed morning. I’m contented and pretty merry in spite of pain.

I start the car and give the windshield a swipe with the wipers; it sounds like the rain may have stopped, and I want to “take a closer look” before I get out of the car and put my boots on. It’s just a slow spattering of random occasional raindrops now,  suitable for walking…

Once my boots are on, I step onto the gravel trail with a crunch. It’s time to begin again!

A lush and rainy Spring morning

I get back to the car a bit damp, after getting a mile down the trail, and turning back when the rain began falling more steadily, again. The trail along the marsh and riverbank is scented by blooming trees and wildflowers. The rain contributes petrichor and that certain specific freshness of a rainy day. No flocks of geese overhead, but the robins don’t mind the rain, and busily went about the business of finding tasty morsels in the leaf matter and muddy ground along the trail. They watch me as curiously as I watch them.

As I change my boots for sneakers, I think about the day ahead. Already another “benchmark day”, and I have been looking forward to it. Seems a good one for tidying up, too, or helping my Traveling Partner with his projects. Maybe both? I’m not rushing to return home; I know my partner is sleeping and likely had a restless night. I am making a point of giving him time to get some restful sleep before I return home and start making noise. (We’re both fairly light sleepers, prone to being a bit noise-sensitive.)

I sit quietly, contentedly listening to the rain fall, before I begin again… again.

It’s well past dawn. No hint of sunshine or blue skies this morning, just mists and gray clouds and a steady rain.

Waiting for a break in the rain.

I’ve got my boots on, and my rain jacket handy, waiting for a break in the rain sufficient to make walking pleasant. A bit later, walk or no walk, I’ll take the car to the mechanic for the last bit of work needed before my next long trip. It’s a relaxed rainy Saturday,  and I’m short on sleep, and in pain. It is what it is. I’m aware of my experience here/now, but also recognize that it isn’t “personal”. it’s just an experience.

I sip my coffee (iced, black, to go), and alternate with sips of water. Waiting. Waiting as the minutes tick by toward the next thing, and listening to the rain fall. Pleasant quiet moments.

…Admittedly, this would be so much more pleasant without the headache and the arthritis pain…

I sit with my thoughts awhile, enjoying the stillness.

It’s a peculiar sort of morning. I slept through to my lights coming on to wake me, which is rare. I woke groggy and stupid,  confused about what day it is, and whether I have some major activity planned for the weekend ahead…I felt certain I was forgetting something (I was). Only just now,  after a walk through an oak grove shrouded in early morning mist did I remember; I’m taking the car in for some repair work tomorrow morning. lol Nothing critical to know today. Funny that I couldn’t remember.

Morning mist and solitude.

My tinnitus is crazy loud this morning,  something like very distant warning klaxons  going off, or “shimmery chimes” in a breezy garden… describing it accurately eludes me, though I often want to try. In my left ear, there’s a short morse code “phrase” buried in the static, on the right I hear the backup warning of a construction vehicle and chuckle to myself when I realize I am actually hearing that. I clear my throat, startling myself with how loud that seems.

My thoughts wander. I meditate after I change from my boots back to my shoes. I  sit in the early morning stillness,  grateful for the quiet moment. The work day will begin shortly. The bustle and fuss of adult tasks and caring for hearth, home,  and partner with recommence on the other side of this quiet time. I avoid thinking about how fucking tired I am at the end of these days. I feel encouraged by the progress my Traveling Partner is making and remind myself gently to “hang in there “. I’ve been doing my best, but it often doesn’t feel like enough,  and I’m not certain I have it in me to do more/better.

My back is already aching fiercely. I take medication for that, with a sigh and a frown.  I don’t like having to rely on Rx pain relief and approach doing so with some reluctance and considerable care. I’m looking forward to the drier summer days ahead, when I rarely need pain medication to manage my day-to-day pain.

…One of the most difficult things to come to terms with after I broke my back years ago was the likelihood that I would deal with chronic, nearly continuous pain for the remainder of my life… but it has proven to be the situation, and “wishing it away” doesn’t work for me nearly as well as facing it, accepting it, and learning coping skills for dealing with it. I try not to let pain call the shots, limit what I do, or prevent me from enjoying my life. My results vary. Some days are better than others. Today I fucking hurt. I’m in a pretty good mood though,  and that’s a win.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I make a point to let go of vaguely vexing miscellany that doesn’t require my attention. This “here and now” moment is pretty pleasant. I take time to enjoy it before I begin again.